A Year

A lot can happen in a year. Weather changes, your room changes, your hair changes, the auto fares change, people change.... that one person changes.... that one friendship changes.

"Life is an awfully ugly place to not have a best friend"

Everyone has one. You had one. But what if a year changes that? What if what you thought was true isn't true and real anymore? Do you stay or do you start getting over it? Getting over someone is tougher isn't it? You go from loving to hating to being desperately wanting them back to wishing you'd never met them. But does it ever happen? Do you ever really get over someone? You spend months not meeting them, not talking to them, not seeing them and it helps. The distance helps you forget. The distance helps you think that you're done. And then one day, you see an old picture, a notebook or a piece of paper and everything comes crumbling down. The glue you used to piece yourself together wears off and you are back there, in that dark room you worked so hard to get out of. Again. you work to break down the walls to let light in. Again you try to crawl out of that trap you once fell in. How many times do you have to keep falling in that pit before you finally empty that heavy bag and climb out? Why is it that no matter how much you truly understand that it's time to let go you still hold on to at least some fragments? Is it because they are too important to you? No. It's because you lost some fragments of yourself. They have parts of you as you have of them. It's a simple matter of closure. When they return you to you, you will let go. It's achievable. It just takes a lot of maturity. Not the maturity that comes with age but a maturity that you got by understanding what you really had.

A year ago, you laughed together, you shed tears and you wiped them. A year ago, you knew the meaning behind every smile - genuine or fake. A year ago you didn't dream of today. But it's okay. People change. You did. They clearly did. Priorities change. What was once your world isn't so now. But it's time you scream and let it out instead of clenching your teeth and keeping the pain in because maybe, a year from now, things would change again. A year from now, you would find someone else to laugh with you, to cry with and to take care of you. A year from now, maybe maybe someone would understand the meaning behind all your smiles and smirks and grins. A year from now, you might just, give it a chance, find a new best friend that feels like the oldest friendship you have. 

And as far as that friend you lost, you never know what might happen. You would, a year from now, be at a cafe waiting for someone. They might be there still having the strongest black coffee you have seen anybody have. You might still have that cold coffee even though it is a cold winter evening. You'd see and argue whether cold coffee is really coffee because they think it is too sweet to be called so and you beg to differ. You'd look at what stepping back from the friendship has done and how some things haven't changed, smile and then begin again. Or maybe, you just won't notice each other.