What's there?

I feel cheated of sorts. Like it was all a lie. I always thought that what we had was special. That what you are with me is something that only I get to cherish and now I realise that's just your thing. Your routine. I'm the prey to your usual routines. Why? What did I do? You made me feel like I was the best thing in the world and made me feel like there's nothing that I can't do and now I don't understand why I felt that around you. You're a bundle of unanswered questions. No matter how much I poke I will never get the answers and now my struggle is whether to stand and feel as dejected as I do or walk away. Both seem impossible to me. How do you do this love? How do you work this on so many people? Has no one seen this before? You're a black hole of emotions. You're the whirlwind. Once we get stuck it takes every bit of energy and faith and hope to get out. Why do I suddenly not have any hope around you? There was a time when you were my only hope. But now? I don't know if I made a wrong decision by sticking through but now I'm aware. I'm aware of your tactics and of your ways. Maybe I won't fall prey anymore. But is there anything to you without your tactics? I'm not sure