The 5 Stages To The Point

It's just a mere theory. It is a theory that I have formulated by seeing myself pass through these stages in not just one but various relationships in my life. I believe that every relationship goes through this stage. 'The Point' in the title is a point in a relationship where you feel the urge to quit. It's a deciding point to be honest. It is one where you have to decide if you want to fight some more or just stop. It's a tough spot. Decide to stop too soon and you have lost something that could have been with you forever. Decide to fight and you end up making a fool out of yourself for longer. How do you decide? That differs with every relationship. I can't tell you that. But what I can tell you is how to recognise that you're reaching that point so you can prepare yourself for what's ahead.

1. The Recognition Stage
First, you begin to notice things that don't happen anymore. They can be the everyday phone calls or texts or they can be the small things you used to do for each other that gradually lowered in frequency like watching movies together or discussions of what good music really is.

2. The Fighting Stage
No, you don't fight with the person. You fight with yourself. You beat yourself up for having doubts on a relationship that means so much to you. You question what kind of person you are to suddenly have such doubts. You argue like how you see in movies - the devil you on one shoulder, the angel version on the other.

3. The Pause Stage
This is the point where your relationship reaches a stage where it takes a pause. There will be long silences. There will be miscommunication if there is communication. Everything takes a pause. It's in a state of limbo. You don't know where it'll go from here. You can neither confirm nor deny your doubts.

4. The Sting Stage
So finally you get the ultimate sting. Your doubts get confirmed and you know you're getting there. The sudden absence creates a void. It doesn't mean you stopped talking to them. You just realise that you don't recognise them anymore. You don't recognize their voice, their talk, their anything. You feel like you are meeting a total stranger and not someone you love and care about. You reminisce about the lost days and the sting hurts more than ever before.

5. The Realisation Stage
You'll finally realise the possible outcome of that dreaded conversation you're about to have. You know the possibility of an end is very high. It still hurts but you decide that it's okay and you'll be fine. Now is when you need to start thinking about the decision of one simple question: fight or quit? It's like the end of a video game. Do you want to continue playing by spending those precious gems or are you sick and tired and done? Now, you've reached The Point.

Thinking about all of this I've realised that every stage, there is an opportunity to go back to normalcy but that can't happen without all the parties being fully aware of the situation. It's in your hands always if you start feeling it. You can keep mum and go through the stages or voice it and make it go away and never reach the point.