Stranger

Stranger

A Poem by Marc Marlon Villaflor
"

Do you believe in love @ first sight?

"

 

 

 

A stallion running fast as the north-wind blows

A tree mystically swaying in the air dancing a tango

Meteor showers in the eastern skies

A stranger's soul shines at night with the sparkling fireflies

You animate in my celestial dream

Sporadically moving and slowly fading into dim

When the violin started to play, your sorrow began to unfold.

Quandary radiated your heart turned into cold

In every movement of your exotic frame

I was mesmerized and dying to know your name

                                 

© 2013 Marc Marlon Villaflor


Author's Note

Marc Marlon Villaflor

My Review

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Featured Review

This poem is brief but you were able to jam-pack it with visual images. My mind pictured out those words of yours. Your technique of showing rather than telling is very effective. Well, it is always effective when it comes to writing short poems. But in this poem, almost every line has an image that is vivid. I commend you to that.
As far as my reading is concerned, this is about infatuation at first sight, is it not?
I myself can relate to the theme in this poem. I have already experienced wanting to know the name of someone I instantly liked at first sight. I even dared to get her number hahaha I love the way you chose your words. Your lines and words are few but the impact is great.

However, let me make mention of these few things about some lines:

*Meteors showers in the eastern skies
---> Meteors SHOWER in the eastern skies

*A stranger soul shines at night with the sparkling fireflies
--->A STRANGE SOUL/STRANGER'S SOUL shines at night with the sparkling fireflies

*Sporadically moving and slowly fades into dim
--->Sporadically moving and slowly FADING into dim ---> parellelism

*When the violin started to play, your sorrow begins to unfold.
---> When the violin started to play, your sorrow BEGAN to unfold.
---> [or] When the violin STARTS to play, your sorrow begins to unfold.
---to avoid the conflict of the tenses

Thank you for letting me read this wonderful piece of art. =)

Posted 9 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Marc Marlon Villaflor

9 Years Ago

Hi Sir Joe thanks a lot for the review, I will consider changing it :), I appreciate your expertise .. read more
Sir Joe

9 Years Ago

You are most welcome, Sir Marc! Poets help one another out. =)
Marc Marlon Villaflor

9 Years Ago

Thanks again :)



Reviews

Ahh...the curiosity of beauty at first sight. It is in the eye of the beholder...and when beholden is an experience unmatched. The only change I would make is changing "fading into dim" to "fading to dim" ... your imagery is exquisite here.

Posted 5 Years Ago


Vivid imagery and a distinct dreamy effect makes this a very remarkable piece, the title itself evokes a sense of mystery. The last line gives the poem great intensity of emotion for the "stranger". Brilliant style!

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Marc Marlon Villaflor

9 Years Ago

Thanks Ate :) this is also one of my fave. poem, it has some real backstory on this. lol :) this is .. read more
cynthiabuhainbaello

9 Years Ago

Welcome - keep writing!
I am just writing for a month and no background in the world of poetry. Hope you will always share your wisdom and correct my mistakes as I need it to solidify my dreams to write. Thank you, I love you all.


Posted 9 Years Ago


wow that was so beautiful..loved it!

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Marc Marlon Villaflor

9 Years Ago

Thanks Dakshta :) thanks for the reads.
Oooh!! Amazing. :) Loved it. (; Great imagery!

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Marc Marlon Villaflor

9 Years Ago

HI :) thanks a lot friend :) I really value your precious time reading my work.
reminds me of billy joel's song. . . very nice

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Marc Marlon Villaflor

9 Years Ago

Thanks Brother I appreciate your words always.
I have to say I loved the visual picture that this poem painted. it was stunning and told a beautiful story. Thanks for sharing.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Marc Marlon Villaflor

9 Years Ago

Thanks Brother, thanks for your time reading my work.
owoww!!! i'll say it again, sing of love coz it does exist!! :)) so wonderful poem :)) well, i'm not really into that love at first sight thing.. but love among the most strangest thing, is the strangest, (urghh, never mind that,hahaha) but this is really an amazing write:)) wonder who's that stranger??? haha :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


I like this one. You have a good choice of music... though the most apt one is a violin's sound (just like in this poem).
Other than that, I really like this, kabayan!

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Marc Marlon Villaflor

9 Years Ago

Wow :) cool what camera do you used for shooting.
Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)

9 Years Ago

My sister's Legria. Sometimes I use digicam, mobile webcam videos if they're okay.
Marc Marlon Villaflor

9 Years Ago

Cool :) it is really amazing :) I will check your work in youtube later sa bahay can u send me the l.. read more
Yes I do believe in love at first sight. My, this one set me thinking too Marc, as I suspect all your work probably will. It sounds as if the relationship would have been doomed from the start. Poignant longing that will never be requited. You create a beautiful vision.
Pilamia.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Marc Marlon Villaflor

9 Years Ago

Thank you Singing Bird :) your words is very important to me as a new comer, it helps boast my confi.. read more
Singing Bird

9 Years Ago

Your Welcome

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898 Views
29 Reviews
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Added on March 27, 2013
Last Updated on March 29, 2013
Tags: Dark, Hate, Life, Sad, adventure, death, depression, fantasy, fiction, heart, horro, love, magic, mystery, pain, poem, poetry, romance, story, teen

Author

Marc Marlon Villaflor
Marc Marlon Villaflor

DIFC Dubai International Financial Center, Dubai City, United Arab Emirates



About
I am just writing for almost 2 months now and no background in the world of poetry. Hope you will always share your wisdom and correct my mistakes as I need it to solidify my dreams to write. Thank y.. more..

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