Gun Control Meeting in Gotham

The Joker takes over a gun-control meeting in Gotham with an evil plan to disarm the citizenry. How will Batman react? He doesn't even use guns.

Gun Control Meeting in Gotham

 

(The Gotham City Council and about two hundred Gothamites convened a special session to address the growing gun-violence problem in the greater metropolitan area.)

 

Council Member: I move that the meeting come to order

 

2^nd  Council Member:  I second that motion.

 

Council Chairman: The Gotham City Council will come to order

 

Grey-suited man: I would like to see a ban on all guns except long guns. We all know that rifles and shotguns are used primarily for hunting.

 

Blue-suited man: That would essentially outlaw all handguns. I like it.

 

Crowd:  (claps approval)

 

Council Chairman: Yes, you in the pink hat.

 

The Joker (in disguise): I think more gun-free zones are essential. If we can eliminate guns from large swaths of the city it would create a safer environment for everyone, and the joke would be on the bad guys. (giggles)

 

Chairman:  Excellent point, let’s add that to the proposal! Does anyone have any other suggestions before we vote?

 

The Joker: Long guns kill people, too. Shouldn’t there be some kind of restriction on those as well?

 

Blue-suited man: He’s right. Guns kill people, regardless of the size.

 

Elderly woman: How about a compromise with a ban on all automatic and semi-automatic guns. It would force the bad guys to re-load after each firing.

 

Vice Chairman: The bad guys will hate these rules.

 

Twenty-something man with ponytail: Guns suck!

 

Crowd:  (light applause)

 

The Joker: I would also broaden our definition of gun-free zones to include not only the City Hall area, but shopping malls, sporting arenas, and large mansions and estates in the metropolitan area.

 

Council Chairman: Agreed, we can’t have guns in those high-value areas.

 

Vice- Chairman: Commissioner Gordon, how do you think Batman will react to these new rules?

 

Commissioner Gordon: I don’t think he’ll be affected much. He does just fine with his powerful fists and his utility belt.

 

Vice-Chairman: Utility belt?

 

Commissioner Gordon: He wears it around his waist. It contains his Batarang, Bat-darts, Bat-goo gun, Bat-lasso, Bat-stun gun, flame-thrower and tear-gas pellets.

 

Council Chairman: Damn! You’re right, he doesn’t need a  gun to keep Gotham City safe. Okay, all in favor of the proposed rule changes to our gun legislation say “aye.”

 

Council and crowd: Aye.

 

Council Chairman: Looks like the ayes have it. (bangs gavel) 

 

The Joker:  (to himself) Delicious.