Nay-sayers Throughout History

From the first sponge to walk on land to Michael Jackson's moon walking, sadly there have always been nay-sayers.

Nay-sayers Throughout History

Billions of years ago, when the earth had only one ocean and one huge land mass, all living things lived in the water. The large brown mass of earth was devoid of life. Then one day…

MOM SPONGE: Where do you think you’re going, young man?

BOY SPONGE: I’m going to crawl up on that big brown thing.

MOM SPONGE: Like hell, you are. You’re a sponge. If you go up there you will shrivel up and die.

BOY SPONGE: How do you know that? No one’s ever tried before.

MOM SPONGE:  No one’s ever been crazy enough. They say it’s impossible to breathe up there.

BOY SPONGE: They say…who are they, Mom? The Man? Screw the Man!

MOM SPONGE: You watch your orifice, young sponge!

BOY SPONGE: (wriggling slowly toward land) Sorry, Mom…I have to try.

MOM SPONGE: (with bubbles streaming from her tentacles) Noooooo! 

******

At Kitty Hawk, the Wright brothers were blessed with two things: a corny father and a fascination for flight.

MR. WRIGHT: What are you boys doing…working hard or hardly working?

ORVILLE: (forced laughter) Wilbur and I are taking our flying machine out for a test run.

MR. WRIGHT: Boys, if God had meant man to fly, He would have given him wings, and how the hell can you brush your teeth with wings?

WILBUR: (rolling eyes) Good one, Dad.

ORVILLE: (whispering) He’s full of them.

WILBUR: (whispering) I’ll tell you what he’s full of.

MR. WRIGHT:  Boys, I’m afraid la gravite will be your folie a deux.

WILBUR: He’s lame in two languages. 

ORVILLE: Don’t worry, he’s harmless.

WILBUR: See you later, Dad. The skies are calling.

MR. WRIGHT:  Maybe it’s a wrong number. Don’t pick up!

ORVILLE: (fake laughter) Dad, don’t you get it? We’re not the wrong brothers to fly, we’re the Wright brothers!  

MR. WRIGHT: (smiling) Taking after the old man.

******

Thomas Edison was a genius, but not in matters of the heart

MRS. EDISON: Thomas, you haven’t slept or eaten for two days.  And what were you doing in the lab all night?

THOMAS: I was searching for the best material to use to make a filament.

MRS. EDISON: Filament? That doesn’t sound very filling. Let me make you a ham and cheese.

THOMAS: You don’t eat a filament. A filament is…

MRS. EDISON: As your wife, I’m asking you to PLEASE quit staying in the lab overnight. I can’t sleep with all that racket. Thomas, we need some time together….to talk, to get reacquainted.

THOMAS: (shrugs)

MRS. EDISON: I guess our marriage doesn’t mean that much to you! 

THOMAS: (lost in thought)...

MRS. EDISON: That’s it…I’m leaving. Mom was right, you’re weird. By the way, Dad never cottoned to you either.

THOMAS: Cotton…cotton…hmmm… I have to go. Thank you, dear. (Scooting past his wife he tripped and nearly fell as he rushed to his laboratory behind the house.)

MRS. EDISON: Good riddance…nut bag!

******

 Michael Jackson had a strict but loving mother,  his number one fan:

MRS. JACKSON: What in Sam Hill are you doing on my kitchen floor?

MICHAEL: I’m walking backwards in a gliding motion…I call it moon-walking.  Let me show you.

MRS. JACKSON: Don’t you dare, child! Find some other place to fancy-foot around. This kitchen ain’t no dance hall.

MICHAEL:(smiling) Okay, Mom. Say say say… just call me a smooth criminal.

MRS. JACKSON: How ‘bout I just call you bad?

MICHAEL: Bad?

MRS. JACKSON: Yes, bad.

MICHAEL: But why?

MRS. JACKSON: Well, let’s see….there was all the surgeries, the hair straightenin,’ the skin lightenin.’ Michael, you ain’t white, you black…and there ain’t nothin’ wrong with that fact.  Oh…and the sleepovers…don’t get me started on those. So yes…you bad.

MICHAEL: Come on, am I really that bad?

MRS. JACKSON: I love you, Michael, but sometimes…you bad.

MICHAEL: I’m bad…I’m bad…come on…who’s bad?

MRS. JACKSON: You know.