Dealing with it

Dealing with it

A Poem by Mazie Tackett

It's always me who's wrong.
It's always me that gets the blame.
Good thing I'm strong,
And can hold everything in and not go insane.

Or else the fighting would begin,
But it doesn't cause I bury my feelings deep.
Ain't that an unoriginal spin.
Cause for most it will continue to steep.

But it won't for me, I'm sure.
For one I'm already insane.
And two I am mature.
I'm sure I can live with a little pain.

I have no one in which to confide.
I'm already going to h***.
So I'm just gonna hide,
And I'm also not gonna tell.

© 2013 Mazie Tackett


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I think you have something here, very good structure. Only recommendation I would give is try to use a little more word play and metaphors to let the reader feel the pain you feel. Example: "But it doesnt because i bury me feelings deep" Or what I might say: "My feelings locked and hid away deep" . With a little more revision I think thsi has the potential to be a great piece, and is good in its self. Keep writing and let your emotions stain your paper and leave the reader breathless!

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




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Good message. Flow is a bit off, don't ever censor yourself, don't force rhymes (they feel forced) and finish the piece - it feels unfinished. Just my .02.

Posted 12 Years Ago


I all too often, feel the heft of blame on my shoulders. I takes a lot to forgive yourself, even when you've done nothing wrong.

Thank you for sharing, I enjoyed it!
=)

Posted 12 Years Ago


I think you have something here, very good structure. Only recommendation I would give is try to use a little more word play and metaphors to let the reader feel the pain you feel. Example: "But it doesnt because i bury me feelings deep" Or what I might say: "My feelings locked and hid away deep" . With a little more revision I think thsi has the potential to be a great piece, and is good in its self. Keep writing and let your emotions stain your paper and leave the reader breathless!

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Its alright it seems like a young child wrote it in some parts but its so full of emotion it seems like a grown adult is feeling it

Posted 12 Years Ago



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Added on June 13, 2012
Last Updated on May 8, 2013

Author

Mazie Tackett
Mazie Tackett

AR



About
My name is Mazie Tackett. I'm unusual, diiferent, weird. I've never really been that good with people so I don't have many friends, but the friends I do have love me to death and i love them. I've bee.. more..

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