Patience

I am waiting on some doors to open...or should I kick them in???

 

 

 

Wait.

I didn't take the bait.

I evaluated it and I waited to see if it would

turn to me and be

what I wanted it to be

 

Wait.

I devoured it wholly

in my mind

fantasized,

(and rightly so),

its been a long time

 

I can hardly wait

Some say its Fate

I say its Waste

of time

Love sublime lulls my memory and as I fall asleep

I dream

 

I Wait

 

I can just taste the nectar of love's sweetness

I want it

I am waiting

 

on

it

 

Aint I a Good one?

My Queendom exists

Exists in the vortex of time

The bells will chime and I will get mine

Wings, like a memory, will come back to me. I am not waiting in vain.

I will not go insane.

I AM ALIVE AND BREATHING. YOU SEE? YOU SEE? YOU SEE?

You see this world? You see this ugliness? You see this beauty. Its all here and we shall...

 

Wait

 

Catch a butterfly in a jelly jar just one time and wait

It must escape to breathe

They die like we

waiting

 

WAIT.

I can race

Run

but there is no one there.

Sometimes we compete against ourselves.

 

That voice tells us negative things.

It says,

“Time is fleeting.”

 

but Your Hour is coming soon; ignore the evil voices

Your best choice is...

WAIT

 

Don't take the bait and end up on a plate

Even in the bible it says, don't haste.

I debate, and I adore, and I create, but never Hate when I see couples smiling together.

I am alone-Whatever

 

I am Waiting

I am waiting

I am

 

God

has Blessed

my soul.

Reviews

[JohnL]

I looked first at a review you had done where you criticised a poem about a stillbirth and suggested among other very positive points, the avoidance of cliche. I just want to congratulate you on reviewing as it should be done - point out the faults and suggest the remedies. Positive comment.
Now, your poem. I liked the format very much - a mixture of blank verse and rhyme. This was unmistakably verse; it flowed beautifully. You used two tools which were impressive and using them as you did, for emphasis, they were very effective. First, 'YOU SEE? YOU SEE? YOU SEE? where you were challenging yourself, then the repetetive reminder 'Wait', moving from small case to capital to increase emphasis throughout the poem. The second emphasis was your use of sudden unexpected rhyme:
'ignore the evil voices,
Your best choice is...' and

'I debate, and I adore, and I create, but never Hate
when I see couples smiling together.
I am alone-Whatever'.

I find this line memorable for its clever use of rhyme.

Now for one or two criticisms. I am writing from England and appreciate that there are different spellings of some words in USA. I'm not sure how 'bate' is spelt there but here it is 'bait'. I'm sure 'waiste' is incorrect both sides of the Atlantic. I don't want to be pedantic, but if you write out of writer's cafe and paste in, it is worth using spell check carefully. Apostrophes too need watching: 'loves' sweetness' - the singular 'love' requires the apostrophe before, not after the 's'.
These small points having been made, I found this a remarkable poem and am so glad I found it - pure serendipity.

[Susan]

a very beautiful and unique poem...I can so identify with it.
Thank you,.

[Wildecat]

Excllent poem, you got your point across and that is all that matters.

[RAWR!]

interesting rhyme scheme, a bit rough, but you get your point across very well.

thank you for sharing, it was a nice read

[charlotte talley]

hey, girl this is beautiful. I like it. you have put patience in its right wording, and understanding keep up the good writings. God has blessed your soul for knowing how he wants you to understand patience.

[Orlando Murcia]

Mm mm mm! I love it sweetheart and God has truly blessed your soul