Ch 1 The incident from the past

I’m decked out in my new play clothes: checkered red with a beautiful bow tied in the back. My parents and I lay upon the soft grass with our bellies full of mama’s delicious turkey sandwiches, and juicy grapes from our own vineyard. Daddy takes my small six year old body into his huge lap.

"Look Evelyn." he said as he pointed across the pearly blue lake. "See them, those are swans." Their beautiful bodies floated across the lake, as their white feathers flexed in the day sunshine. Little droplets fell freely from their bodies.

" Those birds are swans, Daddy?" I say, and then peer into his face for the reassurance.

He just smiles, his crooked, but restaurant grin that he always wore. "Yes." He pauses momentarily, rocks me , and then he stands up with me in his arms. I know what he Is going to do. He starts to throw me into the air then catch me: our favorite game.

My little kid giggle fills the spring air. My giggling starts mama and daddy laughing.

 

"CUCKOO, CUCKOO," screams a little bird that ends up waking me up.

As ,of course it was just a dream, things like that haven’t happened in what seems a like hundred years ago. It always feels so real until something wakes me up to my dark reality. This time was an annoying bird. I get up off the forest floor, and dust my self. My eyes still damp from last night’s cry. Also my skirt hem was ripped the whole way around.

I started to continue my walk from yesterday as I walked, it still felt as if my mother’s hot breath was beating down my neck and into my spine. Also the wind was mocking me imitating my mother’s alcoholic voice whispering in my ear "Evelyn honey come back let’s have some fun.". It was like it was trying to suck me back into her wrath.

I can’t stand it I start to run in a flurry. I run in any direction my mind pleases. Not caring where I’m heading, just trying to avoid the trees. My legs start to scream in anguish: as they must be all bruised and scraped up from running through thickets, and continuing to fall from the thought of my mother.

My mother, what a pretty picture she is (Ha Ha). She is up all night with few naps during the day. She sits upon her wicker rocking chair with several broken bottles placed around her and another stuck in her mouth as the liquid quickly disappears. She continues to sit there as she drinks her beer and barks me orders. She didn’t do this when I was younger , but that was when my dad was here. It happened all suddenly. Daddy left one night; two years ago. He didn’t leave a note to explain he departure nothing to tell us where or why he left. That morning mama and me saw the pallor in a wreck. Curtains were torn, furniture was sliced open and stuffing pulled out. What was more astonishing was that Daddy left his prize possession : his dad’s watched that was past down generation to generation to youngest son.

Mama was depressed form the incident. The weeks after he left she sat upon her bed staring into space, not eating for days. She began to become angry as her mind became a slave to alcohol. She began to blame me for Daddy’s leave. She couldn’t stand being hurt from her love, also with out him we didn’t get his income and our money was becoming scarce.

Yesterday She decided to got up from her chair. She went over to the fireplace. She pulls out our big iron pot and filled it with water from the pitcher. She hooked it on the long hooked in the fire place ; it hung right above the fire, and then she placed in water: mostly likely she wanted boiled water. She paced around the room in impatience. For about two minutes. After that she got bored and went to check the water. As she went over I noted the almost empty beer bottle placed in her hand. I knew the water was defiantly not boiled yet, and that she did not. She got mad that the water was not yet boiled. She pound upon the kitchen wall, then she saw me. I wanted to slink away but that wouldn’t work. She took the pot, and flung the water towards me . I narrowly escaped the water from burning me.

She became worst each day, and she kept on paining me physically and mentally that I had to escape. I ran out the door and into the woods. I knew she couldn’t catch me, her drinking gave her a big potbelly and she became unfit.

The light of morning started to travel up the sky into the high noon sun. The sun spread it light brightly upon the forest enhancing the sky of blue. The woods looked more friendly now; the sun light up all the dark corners making them more welcoming. Upon the floor the sun looked as if it was dancing as the sun shone through the tree leaves.

Reviews

[The Elder]

Ignoring grammar and spelling, this is a really good write.
You have a good imagination and know how to use it. The
story is good and it flows well.
You've caught my interest and I'll be waiting for more.
Nice job Rachel my friend.

[17thWhitePrince]

WoW !!!
This chapter was really well done indeed !!!
It was interesting and easy to follow ...
It wasn't complex at all :D
You did a most wonderful job with this !!!
It was really really good !!!
I liked it !!!

[Mintwhiskers]

i no it might be long but it is goood please read i need to know if it, is good
oh ignore grammer and spelling

[Wicahpi]

Am reading and waiting to see more...
If you need help in the editing department,
let me know. Hugs

[Jared Hughes]

Don't stop writing your novel, It sounds good.

I hope you publish it one day.

Jared

[lots fo love ♥]

hahahah i already read the rough copy you keep in your noteebook!!! i know the ending, but this revised version is much better!!!

[Cypher Sand]

To me, it sounds like a good story, but it does need some editing.