Falling is such a deadly sin

Falling is such a deadly sin

A Poem by babyblue

Falling is such a deadly sin

By Ivonne L.

 

This night is so lonely and quite. Anything can happened in this quite lonely night in a lonely street.Where i hear and see everything from up here in these lonely stairs.

 

Falling would be such a deadly sin. Oh how I Imagine that rush of floating in the air .If I attempt to float I would fall.

 

Oh it could be such a tragic lonely night to fall from this balcony. wish I could float in the air and fly away.

 

Falling would be such a deadly sin.Oh how  Imagine that rush of floating in the air.If I attempt to float I would fall.

 

Yet who cares If I fall for I just want to fly. I truly don't want to die I just want to be free and fly away In this quite night where anything goes.

 

Falling would be such a deadly sin, yet I truly wanna float in the air and feel so free.

 

As the stars look down  on me waiting for my next move,cause anything goes in this tragic lonely night. Falling would be such a deadly sin.I truly wanna float in the air and feel so free.

© 2009 babyblue


My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Reviews


Fix your spacing after ever comma and period in these lines (and capitalize your i's)---

lonely street.where i hear,and see everything from up here in these lonely stairs.

air,and fly away,

Falling would be such a deadly sin yet .oh how Imagine that rush of floating in the air.If I

free,and fly away In this quite night where anything goes.
Falling would be such a deadly sin .Yet I truly wanna float in the air,and feel so free.
As the stars look down on me waiting for my next move,cause anything goes in this tragic

Falling would be such a deadly sin .Yet I truly wanna float in the air,and feel so free.

Posted 10 Years Ago


I liked it. But I didnt like that falling and lonely were used in this poem for almost everyline. (I really hope you dont think Im just being a mean b***h) Im just honest about my opinion....please dont hate me lol

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I think this is so wonderful
Amazing imagery you have put into this.
I really like this.

Posted 10 Years Ago


Advertise Here
Want to advertise here? Get started for as little as $5
I really like the imagery and flow of this piece....it has a dark dream like feel to it... overall nice job on this and thanks for entering it in my contest.... fav lines...This night is so lonely ,and quite anything can happened in this quite lonely night in a lonely street.where i hear,and see everything from up here in these lonely stairs.

Posted 10 Years Ago


Great job on this piece! I really enjoyed reading iut.
Laceyjane

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Such heart in every line!
Ty for entering!

Lynda

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

hey just read it and wow is it good. you got some talent and I like the meaning behind. Great job.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Is this supposed to be a song? It seems like it was written as one.

The thoughts of flying and falling are good.

Nice work! :)

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

408 Views
8 Reviews
Rating
Added on November 7, 2008
Last Updated on December 30, 2009

Author

babyblue
babyblue

El paso, TX



About
Hey my names ivonne i'm 19 I wirte stores,and poems i go to college . I like scremo,punk,and classic rock bands such as bob marley bob dylan underoath,sliverstian,misfits,daed kenadys,the door,and t.. more..

Writing
With Love With Love

A Poem by babyblue



Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..


All of Me All of Me

A Story by Marlena


Love IS Love IS

A Poem by Flo_writer