Passing By

This is actually the poem I wrote a few months after my FIRST love and I broke up. Oh...! Sad sad... Cry cry... -not

 

I've never been the one who always ran around.
Never even kissed a guy until you came and found.
You made me feel like there was more to me,
Said 'I love you' and we were free.
When you held me in your arms it felt that I could fly,
But now we're only passing by.
I'll try to ignore you after all the lies.
The hurtful words and your endless spies.
So here's to you, who said you loved me so:
BITE MY A*S AND GO RUN UP A TREE!

Reviews

[ShadowHaze]

I liked it, and I know I really shouldn't laugh, but that last line... hahahaha. But that's one way to tell someone off!! haha.. Great piece (specialy the last line).

--Haze

[Eric Cox]

Cool poem, I really like it.

[Ryan]

I shouldn't laugh, but that last line..lmao XDDDDD great job, loved the whole thing, though I'm sorry you had to go through that >.< I feel your pain. My only suggestions would be to work on the flow in the firth line, and maybe try to get the last lines to rhyme somehow. But it's great the way it is, so you don't have to do either of those things. Great job! Can't wait to read more poetry from you, and hopefull more stories and/or books too! Thanks for sharing :)

~Ryan (still laughing at the last line btw)

[Jemma]

Haha loved it.
Oh I shouldn't laugh. but that last line got me.