Chapter Two

Chapter 2

     I did not get a very much exposure to computers growing up. In elementary school there was one computer sitting in the corner of the classroom that was rarely used. I guess it is primarily used to test students what skills they had.

     The teachers would sit with each student in front of this computer. The computer was turned off and back on again with images only meant for children. I really don’t remember much since it was kindergarten.

     I do remember that every classroom had a computer that was not being used. I’m not really sure if they had a purpose except to make the place look like a normal classroom.

     Yes, there were desks, chalkboards, a place to hang coats, the lone pencil sharpener, a teacher in slacks and a blouse that made them look awkward, and an industrious looking computer collecting dust.

     If you think about it, computers were kind of in their infancy. It wasn’t even 10 years since the first computer was built. Very few households had one and schools were not really using them.

     Here we were playing the Oregon Trail when we didn’t know we were working with a tool for survival and conspiracy theories. Nobody educated me on computers. In fact, I never thought my classmates were utilizing them much. It wasn’t until my sophomore year in high school that I began seeing more uses for computers. I saw my first CD-ROM and programs to write papers on. I began using printers that printed on papers with perforated lines.

     I began typing stories and using the CD-ROM version of Britannica encyclopedia. It was so exciting because I could watch grainy video clips. I did much of my research on the computer and the library.

     This was around the time when my parents were divorced. I was going through the time of discovery since my parents were not available to shelter me. I was doing what I wanted and getting what I wanted.

     Also, around then we were typically spending time at one of my uncle’s houses. When we were there I would play mah-jongg on his computer. I liked clicking on the boxes to hear the sound effects. I also liked how you could change the appearance of the blocks. I also would change the picture on the card decks on solitaire.

     Computers were still a mystery when I was young. I used to grab the ads for computers from the newspaper. I never really looked at what a computer had; I only saw how expensive they were. They were more expensive than they are today. My mother got computer and I really don’t know how or why. I would work on the homework on it. I would play games on it like solitaire and mah-jongg. I would type my stories on word and save them.

     I don’t understand what I may have done wrong. I played games to take a break. There was a game on the computer called Leisure Suit Larry that I used a cheat sheet on to play. Sometimes the cheat sheet never worked. I never got too far on the game. I was a teenager at the time that was still in relatively sheltered world.

     Anytime a time I showed any sign of doing something I wanted or anything fun it meant serious business or serious offense with an argument. I guess mom went through the same thing because there was always arguing in the house. There was always a new hole in the wall or phone jack ripped out of the wall. Sometimes I would try to get right in the middle and I would get smacked around or get in a fist fight.

     So, when no one was home I played on the computer. I ignored the fact that there would ultimately be a yelling match or maybe a fistfight. Sometimes I would get the silent treatment.

     Mom when asked me what I wanted with my future. I really was not interested in discussing my goals with anyone. I laugh because now I understand why.

     I was kind of restricted to one thing. I had to grow up to be a housewife or career girl with no objective. Anything I enjoyed doing seemed like something that neither parent wanted me to do.

     Nobody supported me when I was in drill team. I quit choir and mom said she didn’t want me and that anyway. She rarely came to my performances. In most cases she was working, but there is one evening she didn’t go because she was mad at me.

     So, I did not want to discuss my goals to be a writer or actor because it would’ve been a lost cause. This occasionally caused a fight. Eventually, the fighting got me kicked out and I ended up moving in with my dad.

     I still tried to achieve my goals in Boise, but I could not escape from the narcissistic and abusive behavior from home or school. My dad didn’t have computer so I did what I could at school.

     This was a nightmare. My writing was always being deleted or lost. There was a story I was working on for my creative writing class. My stepdad was angry at me and kept telling people that I did not live there and he deleted my story. I had to type it all over again. I began putting my work on a floppy disk. So my collection of technology began.

Author's Note

Again, constructive criticism is welcome. I am working with Dragon and it is still in training.