The Bridge

The Bridge 

I’m standing on this bridge that I found and now looking down below to see how long before I hit the ground. The water looks beautiful, but not for the reason you may think. The water isn't beautiful because of its vibrant blue hue or the location where it resides. This water is glorious because this is my escape. Sure some people might say it would be like hitting concrete at full force, but for me it would be like jumping into a pile of pillows because then I would no longer be in pain. Looking down gives me comfort that an eternal slumber will be the answer to all my problems at hand. The decision is becoming less selfish the longer I ponder; individuals will pretend to care and say the “nice” things about me after I’m gone. However, that won't last long because life will continue to go on and I would soon become a figment of their imagination. My tears fall into the water beneath me creating this rippling effect. Even though I ran out of tears, these will be the last of them that I will shed. I cried and cried and I tried and tried. So tired that I cannot stand on my two feet and to top it all off nobody gives a damn. Why? Because I feel so weighed down by the world. They'll say they care but when you try to tell your truth either they say “you're overreacting” or “ this is only a phase”, but little do they know I’m at my breaking point. This is the point that I tried all the possibilities and still failed no matter how hard I studied. The only good thing my legs can do for me is to leap off this bridge and enter into paradise. My battery has been on empty for a long time; no matter how much gas I put in my tank I can never seem to get to where i'm going. As the tears hit the paper staining the page as I write this of me stating how I feel, a lump forms in my throat and not because I've taken any pills. So feet, do not fail me as I now jump and feel like my feet never left the ground, I hope nobody finds me cause I've always been lost so there's no need to be found. This is the end of the road as I release one final scream, I count one, two, three and as I'm falling I can now embrace that I’m finally free.

Reviews

[M.E.Lyle]

I just don't know how to respond to this. It scares me to think of it. Each day of my life has been an adventure. Some adventures are grander than other, but still, adventures all the same. I always want to wake up the next day to see what's up next. It may be fun, it may be misery, but it something. Tomorrow I have to go to the dentist. I have two major cavities alongside two crowns. The dentist may have to remove the crowns to get to the cavities. It won't be a fun day, but it will be a day. I hope to look back upon it and remember it as just another painful adventure. Yep, life is full of them, not all good, not all bad, just there. I hope you enjoy your life's adventures as much as I have enjoyed mine.
I don't know what your circumstances are, they must be pretty rough. I hope you pull through okay.

[NelliKong]

Thank you for this comment I appreciate it. The dentist is never fun lol

[Jon R.T.]

I have in my mind a powm about thoes who have past and that their face seems to fade from memory over time that I need to look at pictures to see it.

[The_Ancient_Rock]

...

If I could... I would...

If I can... I will.

Not jumping from a bridge...

Just... take it all...

Embrace all the pain...

Never... ever... fall...

Yes... I'm well aware... that despite... my "downfall"...

Compared to others... true martyrs...

That felt so much... physical and mental, and pain... besides... psychological torture...

I am somehow... in a way... privileged...

There are so many others... so worse... than I am...

However when we loose... our most dear... loved ones...

Wouldn't we... gladly... trade places?

Yes... if only we could...

[NelliKong]

♥️♥️ thank you so much for the feedback

[FGFRANKLIN]

This one has a powerful impact. The fact remains however that there is no "suicide solution". The problems remain are are often made worse by the gap that nature needs to fill. Maybe there was someone who needed your help but you weren't there for them. Maybe there was something only you could do that went undone and bent the working hands of fate into crippling arthritis. Nature hates a void. Something will take the place of anything lost but for good or evil only fate can say. I believe nothing good ever comes from an intentional loss of life because it's like spitting in the face of God or screaming in the ear of the universe. Nothing good can come of that. The writing here is strong. Be strong along with it and find your meaning in doing what you do best, being you. F.

[NelliKong]

Thank you for the feedback Franklin

[Shelley Warner]

I think there's a glimmer of hope in this prose when you recognize that death wouldn't bring the solace that you hope for. Healing from life's traumas can be like climbing Mt. Everest, but it can be done.

[NelliKong]

Thank you for the feedback. Helps me out

[Red Pill Coyote]

This transformed me into a falling leaf that got me lost in the wind gust creatures.

[NelliKong]

Thanks for the comment I appreciate it

[Marvin Thomas Cox-Flynn..]

If you are going to flirt and play with idiotic ideations of suicide, then, let's get the facts straight right here and right f*****g now! THERE IS NO AFTERLIFE, OF ANY KIND, FLAVOR, OR LIFE'S TROUBLE'S REMEDY, NONE WHATSOEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ... This life, what little you and I may have, is all that there is, and nothing more ... Everything you and I (every single living Human Being) have been taught regarding a Heaven, a Paradise, an Afterlife, an Eternal Life is but lying a*s bullshit taught by men of Organized Religions who shall and do profit from their deception's deceit that far too many of them are fool enough to accept and believe themselves as morons teaching other morons to be idiotic maroons! This life, however miserable it is (and my life is pretty goddamn miserable after losing my precious wife of 49 years of marriage), is all there is to be had of this, OUR, YOURS & MINE, existence! To piss it off, waste it, throw it away, as though it were but f*****g nothing is sheer and utter nonsense's stupidity! Live! Live! Live! For there is all the time in the world for dying, being dead, and remaining dead until the Universe itself ceases to exist, and that is a long Goddamned f*****g time, young one ... I am 69 years old, and, yet, I seek to live, to continue to exist, if for nothing more than that longing's reverie of remembering my wife who gave her life in quest of loving me, a man most undeserving of being loved, whatsoever ... And yet, she loved me to the horrific end of suffocating to death via COVID-19, and knowing and understanding that I did love another during our five years of Divorce and separation, a young, sweet, and precious girl stupid enough to believe the very fucked up lies that, apparently, you must believe as well, for on September 27, 2012 (3 days before the Birthday Party she was going to make for me) she took her own life, and that via The Hangman's NOOSE, as per my humble attempts at keeping her memory alive and burning as a lifetime promise, tribute's memorial, and pledge to warn others of the foolish fallacy that is the insidiously nefarious legacy of SUICIDE: Twenty Six She'd Be: https://www.writerscafe.org/writing/FlynndeGraham/2820371/ : Love's Finest Oath: https://www.writerscafe.org/writing/FlynndeGraham/2821265/ : Within Her Eyes, Her Smile, Her Laughter Sweet: https://www.writerscafe.org/writing/FlynndeGraham/2822041/ : I'll Find You There: https://www.writerscafe.org/writing/FlynndeGraham/2822190/ : All Those Tomorrows That Will Never Come True: https://www.writerscafe.org/writing/FlynndeGraham/2826097/ ...

Read and learn, learn and listen ...! ... Or else, wallow in your own stupidity's self engrossed pity. Your life is only worthless, because you, fool!, deem it so, and fail to see the priceless jewel that YOU, as a Human Being, ARE, and always shall be!!!

Yeah, life sucks, but being dead sucks a hell of a lot more, and suicide is a mistake that can never, ever, be undone or reversed, for there is no reset button for Life and Death, and there is no System Restore option to choosing death over LIFE!

You are, by the way, a most promising writer and weaver of words, just the wrong kind of words that just might lead some other fool to follow you down that dark path which you are, undeniably, upon ...

Best wishes and long life are that which I do hope and wish for you!

Marvin Thomas Cox-Flynn de Graham

P.S.: I am your friend. You just don't know it, yet.

[NelliKong]

Thanks for the comment

[Marvin Thomas Cox-Flynn de Graham]

Thanks, Nellie,

For tying to listen, at least ... Your writer's potential is more than amazingly awesome ...! ... Use your gift wisely ... Do not selfishly take others to the grave with you, for as such would make a murderer of you via that precious gift of you own quill ... Along with THE GIFT comes RESPONSIBILITY!

Marve

[Rosemarie]

This is a nice poem/prose. Very intense and nerve- breaking! If you want to ask my critical analysis of this poem, I would say that the author is suffering from depression/frustration/hopelessness. Through poetry composition, you are able to free yourself from what's bothering you. It is said that when you become an intense writer, it means that you have also been through a lot in real life. As an inspirational writer, I tell you one thing, life is a matter of choice. No matter if the world is against you, it is your option to embrace life's imperfection and live life to the fullest.

[Doodley]

You have captured your feelings of tiredness and despair quite well in this short piece. Hopefully one of fiction, though. You'd be surprised just how many people have felt the same way at one point or another in life. Seeking a way out is a natural response to stress. I find that we are much stronger than we really give ourselves credit for. As a beautiful song says, "Just pick up your crazy heart, for one more try...", because that one more try may lead to happiness.

I enjoyed the piece, Nellikong. Stay off the bridge and keep enduring.

[NelliKong]

Thank you I appreciate this comment a lot.

[Temperance]

It is so sad that one allows others to dictate one's fate. We all have the power to change and be an active part of our community. As we get older we realize that it doesn't matter what others think of us. It is how we think of ourselves that really matters. If we are good and, think we are good then, our actions show that we are good. Do good for others and that good deed will echo through like those ripples on the water. People see what others do and good deeds can leave an imprint on them. If one wants a positive reaction from others then, one needs to be positive and do positive things. I pray this writer can see the good that is in them and that matters....not what others think.
You could probably combine some of the first sentences; the writer is looking at the "ground" then, in the next sentence is looking at the "water".
Writing can be a catharsis so, keep writing and get all that negativity out. See the beauty that is in this world! Temp

[NelliKong]

Thank you for the comment. I appreciate it. I’ll take your thoughts into consideration.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

There is a very old Arab proverb adapted by the Book of Ecclesiastes or the proverbs of Solomon. It states, "A living dog is better than a dead lion". In the Book of Ecclesiastes it is versed thusly, "Man does not know what lies ahead, whether love or hate. It is the same for all: There is a common fate for the righteous and the wicked, for the good and the bad, for the clean and the unclean. As it is for the good, so it is for the sinner; as it is for the one who makes a vow, so it is for the one who refuses to take a vow. This is the evil in everything that is done under the sun: There is one fate for everyone. Furthermore, the hearts of men are full of evil and madness while they are alive, and afterward they join the dead.
There is hope, however, for anyone who is among the living; for even a living dog is better than a dead lion. For the living know that they will die, but the dead know nothing. They have no further reward, because the memory of them is forgotten. Their love, their hate, and their envy have already vanished, and they will never again have a share in all that is done under the sun." Ecclesiastes chapter 9 So...much of what you observe in your writing here was also observed by what some consider the wisest man to ever live. His final determination was that things could only be made better by his continuation. We have to work, we have to struggle, we have to fight for right and good to prevail. If an evil king and a good king go to war and the good king simply gives up and surrenders; then he is just as guilty of all the evil to come afterward as the evil king who perpetrates it. He did nothing to stop it, he made no effort to make things better. His guilt is in his sin of omission. For evil to triumph does not require good people to become evil. It only requires that good people do nothing. These may be points you wish to consider before surrendering the greatest gift there is which is life. Life is very tough. That's why it kills all of us in the end. But the final judgment will be of what we did to make things better for one another in our time spent on this earth. After all, if we can't help each other while we are here, what are we good for?

[NelliKong]

Thank you for your thoughts Fabian. I appreciate this comment.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

I've had to remind myself of this truth more than once. My favorite song EVER, in any genre, is Fight the Good Fight by Triumph. Check it out. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-lGhKrypb0

[NelliKong]

I’ll check it out