Doppleganger

Kane visits Violet shade, to get the information on Thomas' whereabouts but he gets more than he bargained for.

I wasn't quite sure where to go. I had no clue where I could find Thomas. He could have been anywhere. In times like these I had no other option, but go to Violet Shade.

Violet Shade; I hated that place. It was filled with the most unholy beings. Demons, and who knows what other creatures dwelt inside those filthy walls. I was better off not knowing. To the outside world it was a night club, the best in town with only exclusive access to members and victims. Victims who would go into excited, only to find that they have taken the bait and walked straight to hell on earth.

I had to meet Divine there, that busty temptress was the only one who could help me. She doubled as a stripper/ waitress in Violet Shade. The only human who worked in Violet Shade but that didn't make her any less dangerous than any other devils in there. A ritualistic serial killer in the past, who gained her powers after sacrificing her whole family to Beelzebub. She now was a powerful witch with the special ability to see where anyone would be whenever she wanted in her crystal ball.

I parked my car opposite to the building. It looked like a spooky haunted mansion, the neon sign read out "Violet Shade". A single bouncer stood before the club guarding anyone from entering. He wasn't going to stop me today.

"Do you plan to go inside alone?" Benny was hysterical. 

"Have you lost your mind?" 

"Stay here, I will come back." I said to him.

"But" 

"Stay in the car, I will be back." I said to him again, he read the expression on my face which was determined now to finish the job, no matter what it took.

I turned around, removing the gun from the holster as I walked straight towards the bouncer.

 

"ID Sir," he said in a gravelly tone

"Here's your ID. F#$% face" I shot the first bullet right through his skull, shattering his skull which didn't bleed cause he wasn't human. It didn't kill him though he would be very angry when he repairs himself, but I will be gone by then.

"Two more left." I reminded myself of the bullet count as I pushed the door to enter inside. As soon as I entered I was overwhelmed by the pungent smell of blood, drug, alcohol and sex. No one noticed me, the DJ played loud trance music as I made my way through this unholy crowd. I had to find "Divine", and find her I did, she was giving a lap dance to some d********g in the corner of the pub. I went straight to her, pulling her arms and carrying her to the side. The d****e was too much drowned in alcohol to give any thought about anything else.

"Hey that's my client." she said before looking at me.

"Divine. I need a favor from you." I said as I put the nozzle of the gun straight at her abdomen.

This got her attention, and her true emotions came out with her eerie smile.

"Urchin Ronald Kane. So you are here finally."

"I need you your help, its urgent."

"What happened baby?" She said in a seductive voice, I hated her voice. It felt like a snake hissing.

"I need you to find this man for me." I said to her as I took out Thomas' photograph from my suit pocket.

She looked at it carefully and said,"Follow me."

I was shocked by how quickly she agreed to help me. She pulled my hands and dragged me straight to the middle of the dance floor. There she came closer to me and whispered in my ear.

"He is standing right behind me on that bar."

I looked to find that he was drinking sitting on the bar. Well that was easy, I thought to myself. I tried to push her aside but she didn't budge. She held my hand and put it on her hips, as she started dancing with me, my body now moving along with her, no longer under my own control.

"What are you doing?" I was only able to whisper.

She laughed hard and came closer holding me tightly.

"It's been so many days. Kane, I miss you."

"You miss no one, B@#%*."

"Aww kane, you don't talk like that to a woman."

"Not to woman, but to a witch. I can."

She laughed again a crackling laugh.

"Oh, how I love your words? They are like music for my ears." she moved her hips along with the music as did I under her spell.

I could see that Thomas was preparing to leave.

"But, I have one question. Why were you looking for Thomas?" she asked looking puzzled, or acting to be puzzled.

"None of your business, Just let me go now. I have to talk with this guy."

"You think, I will let you go now." her deep hazel eyes let me know that I wasn't going anywhere now. She closed her eyes and was about to kiss me, when I was jolted out of her grasp.

I was hit by the monster whose head I had shot outside the pub. The bouncer now in his true shape; part human, part ox. His head being that of the ox and rest of his body human. I fell on the floor, now away from the grasp of Divine. She too fell on the floor, unconscious from the impact. I could move my limbs freely now. This was the first time I was glad to see a monster, he had just saved me.

But the joy didn't last for long as it wasn't there exactly to save me, but to kill me for that infraction that had happened between us earlier.
He charged straight towards me with the intent to kill, I dodged him by a hair as he rammed against the wall just behind me. I rolled out and stood as I pulled my gun and shot at him again. Bam and the bullet hit him again in his head.

This created a huge commotion in the pub, I looked at the bar, Thomas wasn't there. I tried to find him in the crowd. I was able to have a glimpse of him as he went out of the exit. I ran towards the exit but I was blocked by another bouncer who had also changed to the same demonic body of the half Ox half man. He charged straight towards me, the third and final bullet was for him. It hit his head and he rammed through the crowd clearing a path for me.

I jumped over him, making it through the exit door and was finally out in the open. Thomas was no where to be seen.

"Damn, I was so close to get him."

I was angry at myself for letting him go right in front of my eyes. Just then by the lords grace I was given a second chance.

A green Cadillac passed by as I got a glance of Thomas in the driving seat.

The chase was still on.

Author's Note

This is by far the most crudest language, so I am sorry if I offend anyone, but the story is finally getting its pace. Kane is on the chase now.
Stay with him to know more as the story will get only better now.

Reviews

[Stefanie Holmes]

"I wasn't quiet sure where to go." 'Quiet' should be 'quite'.

"I had no clue to where I could find Thomas." You do not need the word 'to' in this sentence.

"He could had been anywhere." 'Had' should be 'have'.

"Violet Shade; I hated that place filled with the most unholy beings, demons and god knows what other creature dwelt inside those walls." I would reword this sentence and break it up. I'd rewrite it to read this way, "Violet Shade; I hated that place. It was filled with the most unholy beings. Demons, and who knows what other creatures dwelt inside those walls." You could even dress up the word 'walls' with the word 'filthy' before it.

"I parked my car opposite to Violet Shade." Because you mention Violet Shade right below this line I would change it in this sentence to 'building' because the reader knows what place you are referring to since you describe it in the above paragraph.

"Be here, I will come back." *stay here* not 'be here'

"Be in the car, I will be back." *same error as mentioned above*

"I need you your help," Take out the word 'you'.

"she moved her hips along with the music as did I under her spell." You need a comma between the words 'music' and 'as'.

"or acting to be puzzled." Take out the words 'to be'.

"I was able to have a glimpse of him as he went out of the exit." 'Have' should be 'get'.

This chapter had a lot of small errors in it throughout the whole thing. Easy fixes with some proofreading, plus I pointed some of them out for you. I was quite surprised that you added some half human characters. I certainly wasn't expecting the story to take that kind of spin, but it worked for you. Just watch some of your wording, because there were some areas I had to reread sentences to make sense of what you were trying to say. Anyway, I thought the story progressed nicely with this chapter. :)

~Stefanie