Heaven's Tears

free write

a music is filling the earth once more
a moment in time that I long for
the feeling of a planet sharing
emotions with me
the sky has turned from blue
to deep grays of stormed emotions
finally, the sky cannot hold
her tears a moment longer
and sighs heavily.

cool rain drops caress my face
and calm my anger, reminding me
that even the cosmos need a release.
my heart is dark and breaking and
it seems the world knows this,
crying with me so I don't feel alone.

the city is breathing with me
feeling the cool sensation of rain
as it washes away the filth of so many sins.
my arms raise skyward as the drops wash
over scars and marks,
purifying me.

I'm crying with the skies, with the heavens.
Only in the moments of heavenly pain
can I feel truly understood.
Even God is weeping, for one... for many.

N. Strong

Author's Note

This was a free write and as such the form is lacking, along with the lack of punctuation and capitalization.

Reviews

[Verdant Cynic]

This represents what I feel a lot. A lot of times, during some lonely nights, I find some sense of divine empathy. In these moments, I feel like my loneliness is justified. This poem reminds me of those moments.

I like it. One suggestion I have:

"cool rain drops caress my face
and cool my anger, reminding me"

Maybe find another word for cool in the second line, like "douse". It would give it a bigger effect than using cool twice, IMO.

[Nyida Strong]

Thank you for the suggestion. I hadn't noticed the doubt use of "cool". I've exchanged it for "calm" instead. This was a free write and I didn't do much to it with the exception of adding punctuation.

[zainul]

When I was depressed for some reason,I sometimes thought the whole universe became depressed with me.
However,the reverse happened too.
In your poem everything emerged very eloquently.
The expression is crystal clear.
You have indicated that even God was weeping.
Yes,that is also possible.
"Vox populi,vox dei" -voice of people is voice of god.
So,it is very likely that God joined you to weep.
Well done.
100/100

[Whiskurz]

I love the title.....

"I'm crying with the skies, with the heavens.
Only in the moments of heavenly pain
can I feel truly understood.
Even God is weeping, for one... for many."

This stood out to me......Well penned.....Whisk

[Babe Roxx]

I really pay no mind to punctuations and stuff, more so the flow of emotions, as you expressed so well here Nyida...I find that beautiful...its not easy to write a free write, and I respect that...it takes courage to bare their soul and share it, as you did. Thank you for sharing.

The rain can purify the soul amidst the pain.

[OMGMike]

Thought evoking. I liked it very much.

I ponder of the ability of rain, and the ability to create and destroy. So many thoughts, and motivating ideas after reading this piece.

Thank you.

What a great piece of work! It has a very pure structure that allows you to debate its abstractness as well. Genius!

[Calypso]

I loved this. The fact that you didn't follow the rules of grammar seemed to add a some spice to this.

[Tomi]

i like the flow, but i don't seem to figure why the heaven weep, maybe this one's beyond me...

[Adam :P]

love the stanza, wonderful i enjoy your poems! :)

[*Private Person*]

I like this, especially your last stanza, the opening line in it.
This is wonderful and ever so powerful. Your emotion is
very well expressed!