Heaven's Tears

free write

a music is filling the earth once more
a moment in time that I long for
the feeling of a planet sharing
emotions with me
the sky has turned from blue
to deep grays of stormed emotions
finally, the sky cannot hold
her tears a moment longer
and sighs heavily.

cool rain drops caress my face
and calm my anger, reminding me
that even the cosmos need a release.
my heart is dark and breaking and
it seems the world knows this,
crying with me so I don't feel alone.

the city is breathing with me
feeling the cool sensation of rain
as it washes away the filth of so many sins.
my arms raise skyward as the drops wash
over scars and marks,
purifying me.

I'm crying with the skies, with the heavens.
Only in the moments of heavenly pain
can I feel truly understood.
Even God is weeping, for one... for many.

N. Strong

Author's Note

This was a free write and as such the form is lacking, along with the lack of punctuation and capitalization.

Reviews

[Verdant Cynic]

This represents what I feel a lot. A lot of times, during some lonely nights, I find some sense of divine empathy. In these moments, I feel like my loneliness is justified. This poem reminds me of those moments.

I like it. One suggestion I have:

"cool rain drops caress my face
and cool my anger, reminding me"

Maybe find another word for cool in the second line, like "douse". It would give it a bigger effect than using cool twice, IMO.

[Nyida Strong]

Thank you for the suggestion. I hadn't noticed the doubt use of "cool". I've exchanged it for "calm" instead. This was a free write and I didn't do much to it with the exception of adding punctuation.

[Coyote Poetry]

A amazing poem. The description was powerful and the story in your words very sad. Your strong words made the poem come alive. I like the last line. A outstanding poem. Thank you.
Coyote

[Tony]

Rich imagery throughout, but the standout phrases for me are "even the cosmos needs a release" and "Even God is weeping"-- although I enjoyed the whole poem really felt those lines.

M

[Lilly]

Lovely and vivid images and descriptions. I love it.

[Ted Lambert]

First, thanks for the reviews on Structural Defect. You've point out a few things I need to address, and revision #2 will contain them. Thank you!

This is a delightful piece. There's a reason you don't see much poetry from the middle aged: the youth still see the world with its wounds both physical and of the heart with young eyes and HOPE, the elderly see it the same way. Somewhere between 25 and 45 we lose this ability, and I see real publishable potential in your poetry. Congrats on a great piece.

[Crow]

Awesome piece of writing, moving.

[M.Kilani]

WOW outstanding !! although a free-style write yet it flows amazingly, I loved the images you've created somehow reminds me of a song by Doro Pesch named "Even Angels Cry" last stanza was just amazing .
keep it up

[Taylor H.]

I enjoyed this. I dont think its lacking, I think you're a fantastic writer :)

[Art]

nicely written piece...to feel the actuality of emotions and touch upon the earthen characteristic senses is to seek that place beyond the existence of life...

nice...

[Wolf Cub]

This piece holds so many emotions, its strong and it speaks to the person reading, well done, i love it :) keep up the writing as you have an amazing talent which i would love to see more off.

Wolf

[J.S. Pua]

nice..
well written..
kept me reading from start to finish..
good write..