Her Lips

Unrhymed Quatrains in 8-count

     Her Lips 

       Full, blazing-red, sun-colored lips 

       kissed my neck; heat down my body.

     ’Twas then I knew that I was hers …

       forever bonded ~ by that kiss.

    ~~

       Longing for nights spent together,

       hair tucked softly ’gainst my shoulder,

       long, silky legs entwining mine …

       still, red lips burning all night thru.

            ~~

       With woken eyes, our dream ended;

       reaching to find her body gone …

       teardrops fell quick from saddened eyes

       her red lips now but memory.

                    ~~

      

Author's Note

If you happen to pass by and read my poem please take the time to leave a review.
I always review whatever I read.
Thank you,
Lisa

Reviews

[;)]

Definitely written from a man's perspective. Perhaps you are leaning too heavily on someone for an edit? It takes away from the originality of the poem. Especially when most 'editors' are overated. Except in their own minds. Otherwise you have hit your sensual peaks. Erotica, in whatever context, may not be everyone's cup of tea, though. May explain the lack of comments here.

[Lisasview]

Well, to begin with the lack of comments is probably because I only submitted my poem yesterday. I find that many people are lazy about leaving comments on many of the poems I read. I always leave reviews.
When I wrote this poem I had no idea where it came from...but that is how all my poetry is. I looked back at my original draft and it is the same except for the puncuation and a word or two..
Ddi you read any of my other seductive poems? For example... His Voice. I have only written 5 seductive poems...But I do have several others you might like better.. Miles Apart, etc.
Not sure what your comment means when you say "Otherwise you may have hit your sensual peaks."
Appreciate your comments...Food for thought..and that is always good.
Lisa, now in Spain

[;)]

Two days since posted...lack of comments is either laziness as you suggest, or uninspiring content, perhaps? And yes, I did read your previous few poems. Similiarly erotica themed, hence my line regarding sensual peak.... you have showed the style and how you write it. Does it need another forthcoming? Or will you write something different next? A choice for you to decide. Stagnation is a poet's enemy.

[Lisasview]

Okay, I get it
But did you read any of my non sensual poems.
Totally different

[Rachel Fitzgerald-Feele..]

Hi again Lisa, I've read a few of your poems a couple of times over and haven't left a review because they really do make you think before reviewing and are worthy of more than a quick, basic comment. This again is nicely put together. It makes me wonder whether she has just left before he woke or maybe she is gone forever. Sparks the imagination.

[Lisasview]

Helol again,
I am thrilled that you are spending time to analyse my poems. This one and another couple were written from a mans perspective. Yes, she left before he awakened. Not sure how that happens but it just does...
I often use metaphors in my writing... And, they are all accidental.
If you really want one that makes you think then perhaps you might like Innocence.... I wrote this with no editing... got out of bed one morning lasts year and just wrote it all down. And, it is full of metaphors.
I was more than surprised when I read it back to myself!
Also, Awaken, which I recently wrote.
Thank you again... I am humbled by your amazing reviews,
Lisa

[Rachel Fitzgerald-Feeley]

Hi Lisa, I'll go read those ones now 😊

[Lisasview]

I see you read Innocence... Thank you...
Lisa

[olla]

it is difficult to explore the world of human contact from the perspective of the gender we are born with but to try to approach the most intimate of human contact from an emotional position we have never experienced takes some courage.. it gives whole new meaning to "walk a mile in my shoes" and yes.. we do all experience the same emotions but we are also unique in how we "feel" it..

[Lisasview]

You are so spot on my dearest Olla... exactly..
I have no idea where this came form but truly we are all alike.. in some way.
Thank you so much!!
Lisa

[Fran Marie]

A lovely sensual poem Lisa
written from a male perspective
a mild erotic piece done in good
taste..i much enjoyed..

[Lisasview]

For some strange reason I forgot to say thank you Fran Marie for your kind review...goodness 5 months ago...
Lisa, still in Spain

[DidIWriteThat]

I don't typically read poetry, but this poem was very well done. It was very effective in that it really took you to that place, you can really feel the emotion and the longing from it.

[Lisasview]

Good morning Didi,
So nice to wake up this morning to you very nice review.
Interesting that although you do not typically read poetry, you read mine.. Wondering how you came across mine and why you read it? Just curious...
I wonder if you might like reading more? I never wrote seductive poetry until a month or so ago and now I have submitted quite a few...Plus, my other poems and Sonnets.
Thank you again fo taking the time to read and review.
Lisa, cold rainy morning in Spain.

[DidIWriteThat]

I think I used the websites Discover feature. I'm a new writer, so it's helpful and inspiring for me to read others work. Yes, I will read more of your work!!

[Lisasview]

Thank you
I appreciate it.
Lisa

[lightsong]

"The Kiss" is something very special, the seal of love. I love that You wrote with a mans' tongue I like reading poems written from the other genders' perspective, it needs enough awareness to feel their own feelings. your poem is really passionate and never thought I will read this sad ending still it shows what I was telling at the beginning here how the kiss is something deep and special.

[Lisasview]

Hello my dearest,
It appears that i never thanked you for your wonderful heartfelt review!! I can not believe I never did...So sorry..
Hugs, Lisa

[lightsong]

Hi my dear 🌷

Never worry about such things~ sending You bright wishes and Hugs*

[Patricia Wedel]

The warmth of a Kiss when Moonbeams reach the place where dreams are kept... tenderly, pat

[Lisasview]

Thank you for you loving review...
My best to you and your family...
Lisa

[C. M. Miller]

The first stanza alone could make it a poem all on its own!
The rest, like warmed caramel pouring over the vanilla curves of the remaining verses. The ambience of the poem could easily be switched to that of a woman's point of view, and the poem would still be as strong with just a minor change of the sex noted in the last stanza. This poem is just provocative.

[Lisasview]

Good morning,
Wow, thank you for your positive review...I have gotten several mixed reviews.. Especially, the first one. When I wrote this I did not realise I was writing from a males perspective... To be honest I did not realise it until I got the remarks from the first reviewer.. This poem just came out of me... Yes, you are correct it would be easy to change it to a females point of view by changing a few things... Food for thought and I thank you for that and appreciate the time you took to read my poem and understand it.
I wrote another one after this one... not sure if you read it? Thirst For Love
Lisa, cold morning in Spain

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

Lisa, I have read some of your other sensuous poems, and I just read this one! Girl, I am not just saying this, but your sensuous poems are becoming my favorite to read! I love your style!

[Lisasview]

Hi Kathy,
I am no sure why I never responded to your wonderful review..I remember reading it...but somehow never said thank you.
So glad you liked it... I m thinking of writing more sensuous poems..
Thanks a million,
Lisa, now in Spain

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

My pleasure!

[KAREN]

This is beautiful, but sad! Memories of love that's gone. It's simple, so sensual! I loved it!!!!

[Lisasview]

Thank you so much for you caring and understanding of my poem..
Lisa

[KAREN]

You're very welcome!!

[Lisasview]

Did you read my newest one?
Thirst For Love
Lisa

[KAREN]

Not yet! will read it!!

[Richard🖌]

Stunning work, Lady Lisa 🍷

And, how thoughtful of you to pen one for the bards to appreciate and vicariously join-in with your fertile imagination … goes to show just how sensually in-tune you are with the male psyche.
Your beautiful Unrhymed Quatrains, in spot-on 8-count lines, produce a smooth, spellbinding flow from first to final word … a fine master's mark, if ever there was. Picture … mmm! And, the presentation is sheer eye candy.
Makes me wonder why I never wrote about her unforgettable … er, "red lips."

Swept … thank you for such a sweet treat, Lisa ⁓ Richard🖌

[Lisasview]

Wow, what wonderful praise to get from my effort.
Especially after reading the first review on my poem...which put my mind into wondering...
I so appreciate this amazing review dear Richard!!
Lisa, working on my poems here in Spain at 3:30pm

[Richard🖌]

For my review, you're welcome, Lisa. : )
i cannot account for any other's.

[Lisasview]

Of course I was just saying...