Waking Up

“Who can open the door who does not reach for the latch” is a line in Mary Oliver’s poem, “HAVE YOU EVER TRIED TO ENTER THE LONG BLACK BRANCHES?”

How that particular line about the door flew out and attacked me.  I knew for a certainty how long it took for me to spy my own self-absorption and of my own volition step out into the busy world of otherness, the exciting world of actions, of happenings, of simple joys of nature.

 

Richard Rohr states in one of his wise CDs that about 80 per cent of our thoughts are either exploring the past and its regrets, or fears of the future.  While few of us can stay in the moment it is the goal.  That is why falling in love is such joy.  In the presence of the loved one, everything outside of pure presence fades into non-existence.  This ideal time doesn’t last but while it does, it opens the door into the precious now, which is all we have.

 

I’m just now receiving validation of my longing since childhood for something deeper, something not found in the visual world.  As I wake up more and more, as I delve into kindred spirits deep beliefs, the door to contentment and quiet joy opens wider.  I find that a small period of quiet contemplation every morning renews that desire to connect with the real, the authentic that surrounds us all the time.  This period of peace renews my awareness of the preciousness of right now and the desire to be open to whatever appears in my day.  To be open to things other than pre-planned activities and duties.  To go outside, really look at trees coated democratically with fresh snow, see the crocus poking their heads up out of the soil, to wake up with a smile instead of dread. 

 

On the afternoon side of the life mountain now I want to continue to actively participate in the world.  Being an introvert, it is easy for me to retire more from the world but I do myself and others a favor by just showing up and being with.  That’s all.  No biggie.  I carry a bundle of experiences, strength and hope which blooms more as it is shared.