Flight

One of Joel Osteen’s popular T.V. Sunday morning church talks compared people in our lives to the activity of “flight.”   Pilots know the words well:  there is Lift " Thrust " Weight " and Drag.  I love phrases that paint a mental picture. 

 

I can’t remember who said this, but it rang true for me:

“People don’t remember what you said.  They don’t remember what you did.  But they do remember how you made them feel.”

 

We all have people in our lives who, after we have been with them, we feel lifted into joy and well being.  Those people are a treasure to keep.  As most of us spend a lot of mental time in judgment of ourselves, comparing our insides with other people’s outsides, these people restore our perspective, tear away the illusion that we are somehow lacking the good qualities that others seem to have.

 

Then there are people who somehow “thrust” us into action.  They push us toward a goal, toward the future.  These people encourage the best in us to take precedence over past mistakes.  They open vast images of a positive future.  We all need someone in our lives to whom we can express all our emotions and say out loud our regrets.  If these confidences fall upon safe, kind and loving ears, the feelings of relief and forgiveness blend and leave us feeling free somehow.  These people radiate healing energy.

 

Then, there are the inevitable “weights” in life most of us experience where we try again and again to lift these unhappy people into the relief that they neither want nor work for.   Sometimes the sense of being responsible for another’s happiness is placed upon the shoulders of a loved one.  The burden never lets up.  It never gets better.  The more we give, the more pressure is put upon us to give more. There is never enough.  It might be called an addiction to control in the unhappy one, and a compulsion to make the person satisfied in the other, a useless and life draining experience.

 

The same negativity exists in people that “drag” us down.  Unfortunately these are likely to be family members. They want to lean upon us, giving us their seemingly unsolvable situations over which they cannot cope.  Their expectations create a devastating inner “drag” upon us.

 

The good news is that God made us to create wholeness for ourselves in healthy ways.

We need to step up, set boundaries.  We need to say, “If you want to stay in the pits, okay, but don’t expect me to join you.”  We need to turn a deaf ear upon the finger of blame and guilt some people will automatically place upon us.

 

My friend, Louise, said she handles family gathering that promise confusion by placing herself “in the balcony,” watching the play on stage.  She is present but detached. 

 

It has taken me a very long time but I’ve finally got it that I am in control of very little.  It is okay to just be who I am and tend to my own business. What a relief.  Today, before being involved in a conflicting situation, mentally I can put on my spiritual armor.  I picture pulling on safety leggings and boots, placing God-protected armor over my chest and head into the fray hopefully with calm silence.  Being a pilot at heart, mentally I can choose to go into full lift, taking off into a tiny measure of serenity. At times I can do this - sometimes yes, sometimes no.  But the knowledge is there, when I choose to use it.

 

Reviews

[Samuel Dickens]

I'd never thought of comparing the physics of flight to the many, likewise varied forces (factors?) that either lift or drag down our mortal lives, but it is a good one. Indeed, there are headwinds, storms, poor visibility, equipment malfunction, lightning strikes, low fuel and more that can keep us from holding our flight path. The statement about being in control of very little really hit home, as I've made that observation, too.