Forbidden Love: Preface

A story of love that can last through good times and bad, and compassion for each other that could withstand even the hardest storms of life . With a few twists and turns you'll never expect !

     I look into his sky blue eyes and see love and compassion. Why can't they see that we are in love? Why can't they see that we are meant to be?

 

     Just then he whispered in my ear,"What's wrong babydoll? You look worried?"

 

     "Nothing, I'm fine." He always could look into my eyes and see into my soul. He knew I was scared and affraid for our future.

 

     He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close to his chest. He leaned down and kissed my forehead and said,"It will be okay. I won't let them take you away from me." As he spoke there was determination and fear in his voice.

     

     "I love you," I said simply. Then I looked up at him with fearfull wyes and continued,"And I always will."

 

     He put his finger to his lips and said,"I love you, too. But enough talkinf for now."

 

     We sat there for a long moment staring into each others eyes. At that moment, I realized that somehow, someway, we would get through this! out love would survive.

Author's Note

Please review truthfully and honestly !

Reviews

[Through the Gateway]

There's not much here. It's a good start, but it doesn't grab me emotionally. Really thicken it up. Show us how the characters are in love. Build the tension for us.

The second and third sentences are a little confusing. Because of the first sentence, when you are talking about "they", it sounds like you are talking about his eyes. You need to clarify.

A good start, but it needs work.

[Beregond]

Well done! Feels like just a taste of something exciting. I like how you throw in that last line, and make everyone wonder what'll happen next. That's good storytelling. Keep writing! P.S. "Afraid" only has one f, and "fearful" only one l. Beyond that, I saw no grammar/spelling problems.

[...MysteryGirl...]

i really like it!
It can be a great book! can't wait untill next chapter..
and love the cliffhanger..