Priceless Treasure

 

Priceless treasure

Lets try to kiss until the moon sits on the ocean with

our eyes closed,

this is another realm so we see clearer than if they

were wide open.

Your tone of voice is beautiful so lets try to

converse until the sun gets off and the stars take

their places while the ocean blackens until whatever

was bothering you is forgotten.

 Lets try to stare into each others eyes just to see

where it takes us,

I’ll stare into yours and you’ll stare into mine then

we'll break our concentration to embrace and get

comfortable for the long ride back from heaven.

With you everyday is fun so time really flies I just

want to hold you in my arms to make is stand still for

a few seconds.

Seconds that I like to call precious moments some go

to the beach at the days end but watching your face

blossom from one expression to another is my sunset,

I dream about you like the child does his wish list

the night before christmas.

Your words go into my soul’s ear,

and when I feel your skin its like touching God’s mind

with my fingertips,

I've always wanted to travel now every time I lay eyes

on you eternity is where I pay a visit.

If I were a painter my love would be the brush and you

the canvas,

I'm a musician you are the eighty eight keys that

allow my rhythm and the listener to have a

conversation.

I want you, without you in my I’m like a clock with no

hands,

without you days are too long and nights don’t feel

priceless.

Without you silence is frightening whereas in your

presence it felt like everything,

when you’re gone the sun doesn’t wake-up and stars

don’t take their places so at night I find myself

lamenting while my hands hold the only thing left of

you and that's a portrait.

 With a heavy heart I eat breakfast then pray and

asked God for one wish and that is to be given another

opportunity...

Because if I can't grow old with you there is no

reason for living.

Reviews

[Lyrical Love]

I'm a musician you are the eighty eight keys that
allow my rhythm and the listener to have a
conversation.
This is another write that makes me see life differently. You magnificently create one
great work after another. The images and rhythm of this piece are lulling.

Without you silence is frightening whereas in your
presence it felt like everything,
...you gently force the reader to feel your emotion!

when you're gone the sun doesn't wake-up and stars
don't take their places so at night I find myself
lamenting while my hands hold the only thing left of
you and that's a portrait.

Your adoration is clearly defined here-making this so meaningful.
This is definitely another favorite!

[DaniElle LaPointe]

Clock without hands..... Love your depth, flow and timing. Thank you for sharing ;)

[Arielle Hill]

2 years later my love... I LOVE this. My tears that are holding in are speaking more than my mouth. (smile) Great job luv. This will forever be remembered.

[Haley Smith]

WOW.............

Speechless!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Deadofnight]

This one is sooo fine! Makes me feel real good in side, you done a good job on this.

[Farrah Grahm]

"With you everyday is fun so time really flies I just
want to hold you in my arms to make is stand still for
a few seconds."

"without you days are too long and nights don't feel
priceless."

My only problem with those two lines is that given your evident talent, i think you can do a lot better. Describing the elation you feel in the subjects presence, I think you can describe it as something much more moving then "fun" ;-).
The second line, I think you can give us a more vivid image, seeing as how you already mentioned this, you just reiterate using the negative, and I dont think that's necessary.

But I love this poem, its so real and true. I really felt the emotion in this, as if it was falling of the page, its very tangible.I think you did a very job (and uniquely) describing the love for someone. Kudos

[Lady V]

Amazing piece. I am sitting here pondering life and its reason through your words. There are so many paths to take yet we feel our way through better then we can see. The depths of our heart becomes the guide to our soul.


Great piece.

Live, Love and Learn

Lady V

[Sid]

i like this piece a lot but need to read it 17 more times to be able to tell you why.

[M. View]

beautifully written i can here a singer doing this in a old jazz type club. Keep doing your thing man.
Great write

[Dizzy-Izzy]

These words are priceless treasure in their own right. I really like the following line...
"Without you silence is frightening whereas in your presence it felt like everything,"
Silence between lovers can be a comforting thing, but when it's over it can be deafening.
Thanks for sharing
Kristina