Anguish

Deep pain of loneliness without someone special

Clouds cover the whole sky, shows dark night
Birds sit in their nest, can't try to flight
Anywhere moon not seen, put off its light

On stair I sit, hand under my head
Tears fall from eyes, gaze roses red
I stumble in my life, still unwed

Her picture in my hands, her face bring out me
On bed of thorns I live, without her feel wee
I stare her picture, and mumble where thee?

I wallow in the mire, life full with ruin jerk
I don't swallow pain of lonely, don't do any work
I mis wailing without her, time seems like mirk

when she'as on the brink of grave, i never forget that time
Stare into my eyes with keen interest, she waive body at all times

Author's Note

If any mistake related to Grammar then please help to correct it.

Reviews

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

This was really beautiful, i could tell it was written straight from your heart.
It was sad and very romantic.
Very emotional and heartfelt this piece.
this was my favorite part
On stair I sit, hand under my head
Tears fall from eyes, gaze roses red
I stumble in my life, still unwed

The rhyming was also amazing :)
I really enjoyed reading this :) Keep writing i like the way you write :)

[Styna]

This is very touching.
Your wording is very interesting as well, in a good way

[An owl on the moon]

The angst and desire are overwhelming. You express that depth of life you have shared, and now miss with all your being. Powerful and stunning cry.

[Hayley]

This is really different... Interesting rhyme scheme as well.
I can feel the anguish, for me, the hardest emotion to portray effectively!

[What happened to simple..]

Completely serene, the tone of voice you've used and how well you have used it makes the reader feel as if they're you. A real experience of someone else's sorrow, pain and anguish. You put everything so delicately and well. Thanks

[Sukriti Suki]

interesting....I am amazed by how even though there is some grammatical issue here, u stick to it and it sounds like that's how its supposed to be....moreover poetry is expressed in our own sweet way....I like the pain and the depth in this work. Well done.

[MsMermaid]

Writing poetry can be a difficult thing when one has the grasp of English. But a poet who writes in a language different to his native tongue is to be cheered, applauded, and respected.

Your thoughts here are clear to understand, despite the challenge. Anguish felt. Nice write.

[realmwriter]

Now that is, Is palpable anguish! What an amazing job you have done in describing how one feels. Fantastic write. I have to say, I rather like your accent...!

[Arielle Ann]

Your idea is good,vocabulary awesome...but without any prejudice,would you mind if I ask whether there are a few grammatical errors? Maybe that is your deliberate style of writing... however this is one fantastic piece ... deep and raw emotions....nice try...loved it...keep writing !

[Kaa Na Kalyanasundaram]

Her picture in my hands, her face bring out me
On bed of thorns I live, without her feel wee
I stare her picture, and mumble where thee?

good writing.

[SUGATA M]

I don't like to give rating with numbers. A creation of heart can not be assessed by puting some numbers against it. You need to touch the heart of the author. You need to recognize the depth of feeling. You need the fathom the intensity of passion hidden in the piece of writing. Lucky, we are lucky to have someone like you in our place who cam make emotions truly visible.