ADV! Chapter 1: Gloria, Vanadeus

The beginning of a long journey, where fate had its tail intertwined around everyone. Clouds have formed atop of the sky... will it pour down rain of blessing, or flood of agony?

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T

he birds sang their tiny voices as a generous amount of brilliant sun ray gazed towards the azure sky of Vanadeus. It is another peaceful morning;

the farmers have opened their coop and barns, while their wives have started milking the cow and kneading dough of cheese. Trader and merchants have stood up readily in their tents, rare goods and items you never had seen anywhere, sprawled on each of colorful ethnic mats. Children are running vivaciously on the streets, frequently bumping into the working adults and got a joking scold from it. Women and housewives have long awaken, far before the sun even tried to awake. Their kettle fumes a hearty scent of boiled tea and herbs, others have their oven ready for warm, buttery bread and fragrant cinnamon with assorted berry pies. Men too, have long awaken even before their women, to work their sweats in coalmine or the market.

This morning routines have been repeating everyday without fail in gentle, peaceful southern rythms which indulges your mind.

 

This is Vanadeus, a kingdom of the East, one of the 'Four Rulers' of Gaia. Located in the heart of the region, Vanadeus Kingdom gained abundances in mineral and stones, food and stock, also trading goods, but not fisheries. The King, titled 'Rex Vanadeus' has his rule spanned over three centuries in succession. His Majesty, now 'Rex Vanadeus the 311th' is everything but the urges of war and blood. In one of his voyage of trading, he met a young noble woman who, later became Her Majesty of Vanadeus. The King and Queen has one child, a beautiful little girl named after their beloved kingdom: Vanadia.

 

As their ancestor have been following, it is a tradition that if the royal born is a male, he will be the first line of successing the throne. If it is a female, she will marry a noble man first, then she is allowed to take the throne as a queen. Princess Vanadia is a bright and joyous child. Her favorite pastime activities include everything her maids had prepared but studying. His Majesty, being an apt trader of his lifetime, insisted his daughter to take lessons so then she can rule the kingdom with knowledge, not with power--as his previous Fathers did. The Princess is a one with looks. Her magnificent strature has gained her many admirers even in her childhood. Vanadia grew in a loving family, if not a little harsh in her studies, and in a glorious kingdom.

 

The birds sang their song again today. A shimmer of sun rays peeked into the kingdom and brought the crowds alit. It is springtime now, the wind blows slightly colder than usual, leaving a thin sheet of fog in Vanadia's bedroom window. Her eyes slowly fluttered open, her tiny lips pursed and letting out a small sigh.

 

"Ahh.... is it morning again?", she yawned and tilted her head to the other side of her lilac-colored pillow.

 

Outside of her bedroom, a hurried footsteps can be heard slowly closing in. Shortly, a worried voice followed, muffled in short breath of exhaustion--maybe from running earlier in the hallway.

 

"P- Princess! Are you awake yet? Please wake up, Princess! I'm afraid you'll be    late again in your morning class.. Oh, how I fear His Majesty's words if you don't     show up again!", the voice rang through the wooden door.

 

It is Ennu, one of the royal maid assigned to Princess Vanadia. Ms. Ennu knocked again, this time a bit louder.

 

"Princess Vanadia...! Are you awake yet?! Please answer, Princess! If you aren't oing to awake soon, I'm afraid I must-", Ms. Ennu's loud voice doesn't seem to shook Vanadia away from her sleep.

 

It must be done, then. Ms. Ennu muttered to herself. She muster up her courage and slowly unlocking the door with the keys she held on her hand. It is common that the royal maids carry keys with them; as some of them were also assigned to lock castle’s doors--which is rumored to be more than a thousand--so the keys will help them performing their duty.

 

"Pardon my intruding--!", Ms. Ennu slowly opened Vanadia's door lock and she            took a quick glance inside, only to found her beloved little princess is still inside        the dreamland.

 

She hurried to Vanadia's bedside then tried to wake her up. "Princess Vanadia! Wake up! Princess! You'll be late again for today's lesson! Princess!!", said Ms.            Ennu while shaking Vanadia's shoulder, hoping she will wake up soon.

 

Ms. Ennu's effort seemed to be in no avail as the Princess is still deep in her slumber by giving a soft snoring sound.

 

"Oh my, what a problem!", thought Ms. Ennu.

 

This was not the first time Vanadia has skipped her morning lesson, and the cause of her absence were all because she was overslept.

 

"This is indeed a problem.", muttered Ms. Ennu.

 

"If I just go back and tell His Majesty as it is, he will scold me again! I've had      enough of morning scolds... I have to do something!", Ms. Ennu is in deep   thought.

 

As she ran her step forward and backward, still in Vanadia's room, a gentle step marches towards her.

 

"Do I shout louder so she can wake up? But that will cause commotion if my    voices were to be heard across the hallway! But what do I do..?", as Ms. Ennu is       still in her thoughts, a soft gesture of hand tapped on her shoulder.

 

"Ms. Ennu. Is Vanadia still asleep?", the figure who gave tap to Ms. Ennu           shoulder spoke; her voice is gentle as ripples in a pond, yet has a somewhat   toughness beneath it.

 

            "Ah! Y- your Majesty! I- I- Forgive me!!", Ms. Ennu gazed towards the figure and           shocked. It was Her Majesty, the Queen, who tapped on her shoulder.

 

            "F- Forgive me, Your Graciousness! This Ennu has failed of such simple task, I'm not even worthy--", as Ms. Ennu profusely apologising, she is stopped by a     reassuring grip on her hand.

 

            "Ms. Ennu. Please don't be so harsh on yourself", the Queen smiled gently while           holding Ms. Ennu's sweating hand.

            "Let me take care of it.", she smiled and walked towards Vanadia's bedside, then           turned her head to Ms. Ennu and gave her a wink.

 

            The Queen then slowly crouched beside her little girl's sleeping body, and started to talk.

 

            "Vanadia. Wake up. It is already late, your father has been waiting for you.", the            Queen softly spoke her words into Vanadia's right ear.

 

            Vanadia slowly opened her eyes, and fluttered when she saw her mother crouched beside her.

 

            "Mmm.... Mother....? Hmm.... five minutes more.....", as Vanadia tried to close her eyes again, her mother flared a loud voice that could be heard from seven miles            away.

 

            "Vanadia! WAAAKE UUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!!!", she shouted so hard that even     Ms. Ennu jumped in shock and her palms are even sweatier this time.

 

            Vanadia is even more shocked, she almost jumped out from her bed hearing her mother shouted like that.

 

            "M- Mother?! Why are you s- shouting l- l- like that?", she desperately looking for herself a firm standing.

 

            The Queen frowned her eyebrows and turned her gaze towards Vanadia. "IT. IS.           ALREADY. LATE!! How many times are you going to skip lesson?", her words are     more than a black coffee-shot to Vanadia's wobbling head.

 

            "I.. uh... well...", Vanadia tried to reason her mother.

 

            "NO BUTS! GO. TO. YOUR. CLASS. NOW!", the Queen shouted even louder while            pointing her index finger to the closet, insisting Vanadia to get dressed quickly.        

            Ms. Ennu quickly prepared Vanadia's clothes, then helped her dress in a rush. The Queen waited outside, frequently asking of how much longer her child will make her wait. The door clicked open, Vanadia and Ms. Ennu shortly came out with sweaty palms and short breath. At last, the Queen thought. Her child is now well-dressed, ready to go to her class.

 

            "Good. I see you're ready. Ms. Ennu?", the Queen smiled and her amethyst        colored eyes turned to Ms. Ennu.

            "You have prepared all of her writing tools, yes? I'd like to see this child take her           lesson seriously, for once.", the Queen eyes turned back to now-flustered          Vanadia, who looked a little blue.

            "Oh my, what is it, Vanadia? You don't look so good.", the Queen's words were giving off a hint of scolding.

            "Perhaps you could use some biology course of why people getting pale?"

 

            Vanadia's eyes widened as she heard her mother's words. "Ah! N- no! I'm fine! I-           I'll be going now...!", she jumped off and ran into the hallway, shortly after she          took a turn into the library, where her class should be.

 

            Ms. Ennu, left behind with the Queen was still in awe of her words.

 

            "Ms. Ennu. I'm sorry to have startled you. But that child must grow up, one or    another way.", the Queen sighed when she spoke.

            "She's nineteen now. Soon, she will have to greet our people and start working            with them, and later she will marry a man who she'll take the throne with.", the       Queen lips pursed and her look is serious. She then let out a breath and smiled         apologetically to Ms. Ennu. "Afterall, who would want a Queen with little-to-no         knowledge of the world?"

 

            Ms. Ennu just stood there, listening to her Queen while nodding in agreement.

 

            "Well then, Ms. Ennu.", the Queen summed up her words, "Please go and          prepare foods for someone who will spend her energy to zero because she's           studying hard", the Queen's smile widened, and her expression cleared.

 

            "Y- At, once, Your Majesty!", Ms. Ennu almost gave the Queen a salute which is used by Royal Guards in their greeting to the King.

 

            "Good, let's go then.", the Queen gestured Ms. Ennu to the kitchen hallway, and           went there with her.

 

 

            "Argh!", Vanadia muttered to herself. "Mom! If she didn't come, I'd probably still asleep and sound..!", she regretted her choice to ran into the class now.

 

            As her steps echoed in the hallway, she constantly took a short gaze to the garden which was built at the hallway's center. The brimming sunlight beams through the greeneries, the pond rippled and reflecting the rays into Vanadia's sight.

 

            "What a beautiful day!", she nodded to herself.

           

            With a little jump and tip-toes, she hurried back on her way, when suddenly a tall figure crashed into her from the hallway's cross-turn. The crash let out a big 'WHAM' sound and sent Vanadia and her writing tools flying.

 

            "Ouch!", she whimpered when she fell on her knees, hands grabbing her spinning head. "Hey, watch out--", she tried to finish her words, but the figure who crashed into her stood up in front of her, hands on their hip like a demanding officer.

            "Oy oy oy! Whatcha doin', causing ruckus in this early morning!?", the figure grinned towards Vanadia, not helping her at all while she's picking up her writing tools that scattered all over the floor.

 

            Vanadia took a glance to the figure in front of her and her gaze widened in rage. "Doh! Jadel!! Why, of all people in the earth, I should met you!", she     protested while trying to get back on her feet.

 

            That besaid figure was Jadel Falk Milgråm, nicknamed Jadel. One of the high-rank general of the Royal Army. Eventhough his position sounded important, this man often seen strolling around the castle just because he's 'bored'.

 

            "Hah! Watch your feet, missy. Late again to morning class?", Jadel finally gave  his hand to Vanadia, picking up her scattered tools.

 

            "Oh, shush! I got caught by mother...", her last word sounds muffled as she tried           to hide the fact the Queen woke her up.

 

            "Aha! Red-handed by the Queen, huh? Hahahaha, tough luck, 'bro!", Jadel        laughed in hoarse voice, his lips making a mocking curve to the princess.

            "Well, you better hurry up or the lesson's gonna be over!", he continued while  pointing to the big clock nested atop of the hallway's pillar.

 

            "Aaaah! It's 12 minutes before the lesson end! Gotta run! Bye, Jadel!", Vanadia  shouted in surprise then leapt forward to the classroom. She glanced back to Jadel and gave him a wave before dashed again.

 

            "Yeah, yeah. Go and sleep your last 12!", Jadel replied jokingly and went back to           his stroll.

 

            The classroom was silent, all the participants were mostly nobles and merchants. The Royalties were quite generous as they announced a free course in trading and economics. Many were interested, and the news quickly spread to one another. Nobles and merchants came from faraway land not only to trade, but also to learn the besaid free course. His Majesty the King, along with high-rank scholar took turn in teaching.

 

            "I'm gonna make it... I'm gonna make it...", mutters Vanadia while she dashed to           the classroom. When she finally arrived, it is only nine minutes left before the         lesson end.

 

            The King's voice can be heard through the thick wooden door as he gave         speech to the attendants. "...When the stock is low, gentlemen, we have to watch out for demand. It is likely that in this time...", the King's speech paused when he heard the door creaked open.

            "...............", the King gave a long pause while his eyes were fixed in surprise. ".........please have a seat, Ms. Vanadia. You still made it in the last moment.", the King said to his daughter in a calm, reassuring voice.

 

            Vanadia walked slowly to her seat while being carefully to not interrupt any of the participants. She sat down, fixed her clothes and started to write down the lesson.

Later on, the bell nested outside of the hallway chimed. It is now 10 A.M., the class have ended. All participants slowly walked out from the classroom, some of them approached His Majesty for further inquiry of the lesson. Vanadia sighed in relief, she's glad that the class have ended. She stared at the King, still gladly answering questions, then sighed again.

 

            ".....Father is a great man. Not only a King, he also excels at economy......",           Vanadia muttered to herself while twisting her pen upside-down. "Mother was        an advocate to her merchant guild.... and is known to her political skill. Thanks           to her, this Kingdom never ran through any dire political situation", she continued her mutter.

 

            Vanadia then stared back at her father, then slowly reminiscing of how her father always encouraged her to learn many things. As far as she remember, her parents always urged her to take course in many lesson: economy, etiquette, herbology, music, cooking and even magic. Unfortunately, also as far as she remember, she never showed up to any of those classes.Her reason was always,

"I will marry a smart man who knows all, so I can leave everything to him!". The Queen always countered her pitiful excuse with "What kind of man marries a girl as lazy as you?", then followed by the King's gentle comment, "Now, now. Don't be too harsh on her. I'll open up a public course for free, so she can learn while staying home and meet people therein.”.

Vanadia came back from her reminiscence and found her father sat down beside her, his eyebrows lifted up as if he's asking what she was doing. "Uh... um! Father....... um.... I'm.. sorry.... for being late.", Vanadia spoke in such     small voice that her father leaned forward to hear.

 

            "Hmm? What is it? I couldn't hear what you're saying, Ms. Vanadia."

 

            "I said... I'm sorry. For being late.", Vanadia repeated her words with apologetic look on her eyes.

 

            "Well, what's done is done. I'm glad you made it for today's lesson", the King    stood up while nodding his head in agreement. "But you know? It is now ten     past twenty, and wasn't your next class started at 10.15?", the King asked his           daughter, tilting his head to the left side.

 

            Vanadia gasped in shock. "Gah! I forgot!!", but then slumped back to her seat   "But Faatheer.... can't I skip today? It's only magic lesson, afterall....", she    pleaded.

 

            The King is a man who spoiled his child to the point of guilty, but his wife always tried to correct him by saying a child should not be spoiled too much or else he won't be able to survive on his own.

 

            "Hmmm... but you know?", the King rubbed his chin, "Poor Alma has been        waiting for you ever since. He was brought here as your personal tutor, afterall.   Doesn’t it feels wrong if he received payment without actually doing his job?",  the King continued while looking at the door, signaling Vanadia to go attend the class.

 

            "Aww.... 'kay. If you say so......", Vanadia surrendered to her father's joking advice            and went towards the door. The King stopped her and said, "Good luck. May         today's lesson do you a great favor." and smiled.

 

            "I'll be going now!", Vanadia replied with cheerful smile on her face. She walked          out of the door and into the hallway.

 

            "I'm gonna be late for today's class, but whatever... as long as I attend, there      would be no problem~~ right~~", she hummed herself while tip-toeing         towards the Magic Classroom.

 

            Subsequently, a familiar voice seemed to close against Vanadia. "Oh, my.          Vanadia? Have you finished your Economy Class?", the voice spoke and Vanadia       realized in exasperation that it was her mother.

 

            "Moooommm....", Vanadia sighed as the Queen approached her. "Y- yeah, I'll be           going to Magic Lesson now...", sheepishly she answered her mother's furrowing   eyebrows.

 

            "Good. You're seven minutes late, by the way.", the Queen smiled at her daughter with her eyes in pique.

 

            Vanadia gasped, "Ah! Ha-ha.. you're right! Okay.. I'll be going!", this time she     dashed through the hallway.

 

            "My, my... is that child going to be okay?", the Queen mumbled to herself while            seeing her child stumbled and fell because of running.

 

 

            The clock was showing ten past half by the time Vanadia reached Magic Classroom. She found herself bending herself downward, gasping for breath after running in the long, winding halway.

 

            "Phew... still made it in time!", she stood up firmly then opened the door slowly.          

            "Er.... sorry to barge in... sorry.... I'm.... late?", she whispered while walking into     the room, only to found someone with furrowed eyebrows and hands firmly           clasped atop of desk, inhaling a good amount of breath before finally spoke.

 

            "Finally you're here! Princess! It is the twenty-third time you're absent!!", the      voice bore a hole into Vanadia's ear and the besaid figure stood up approaching the bookshelves.

            "We still have many books to digest!", he spoke in mumbled annoyance while  his fingers ran through the bookshelves. "There are still 'Basic Magic' which you            haven't even completed, 'Healing Magic', 'Defensive Magic', 'History of Magic'           and who knows what more.", the figure let out a vexed sigh.

 

            "S- sorry, Alma...", Vanadia answered the figure, which turned out to be Alma    whom the King said was brought to Vanadeus Kingdom as the Princess'   personal tutor.

 

            Alma is a cleric from Southern Region who ventured into Eastern Region in his quest for knowledge. The King found him in one of his trading days and quickly enthralled by his vast and diverse knowledges. The King then offered Alma a position in the castle as personal tutor for the Princess, which Alma quickly agreed.

 

            "Alright.", Alma exhaled a breath and said to Vanadia, "What should we study  today? If I'm not mistaken, you're one step ahead of completing the 'Basic Magic' book. Shall we finish it today?", Alma smiled gently at the princess, as       if his annoyance has evaporated completely.

 

            "Buut.......", Vanadia tried to argue.

 

            Even before Vanadia able to continue her argue, she was stopped by Alma's     gesture to the chair which placed directly in front of his desk. "Shall we?".

 

            His soft voice bore through Vanadia’s stubborn head, making her has no choice           but to inquire. "Ookaaay....... you win."

 

            The two then studied the rest of the book. Alma guided the princess throughout the digest session, frequently asking if there is something she didn't understand. Vanadia diligently followed Alma's guidance and casted a few basic spells on her own. Sometimes she didn't do it right and the magic didn't came out. Even so, Alma kept his protest to minimum and chose to work the spell together.

            "This sums up to today's lesson. Anything you might still have difficulty on it,    Princess?", Alma asked Vanadia while placing back the books on their shelves.

 

            "Um, no. Thanks for today.", Vanadia answered in ponder.

           

            Alma quickly realized her faltering answer and asked again, "I'll be happy to     assist in any of your question, Your Liege.", turning his face to meet Vanadia's gaze, and smiled politely.

 

            Vanadia then voiced her dubiety and asked, "It's just... I wonder, if I can master many magics like you someday?" and looked up to the ceiling where a        beautiful glass chandelier rests atop.

 

            Alma stopped sorting the books and clasped his hands together like a praying person, "Sure you will. I'm sure of it" and he smiled again, this time with a    glimpse of hope, "That's why I'm here. I'll work hard to see you succeeded in           magic.".

 

            Vanadia smiled weakly and answered, "Thanks, Alma.............." and paused.           “.....I'm.... just not sure."

 

            Alma's eyes widened in surprise, it is so rare seeing the princess feeling down like this. He then hurried his book-sorting and came back to his desk and sat across Vanadia.

 

            "If I may, Princess. What is troubling you? You seemed not as... cheerful as         usual.", he chose his words carefully.

 

            Vanadia's eyes turned to Alma's. "I'm... just not worth of it, right? I'm nothing    like Father or Mother.......", she paused slightly, Alma nodded in gesture of        closely hearing. ".....and yet, they said.... soon I'll have to take the throne..... and        become a Queen... It's... ridiculous, right? Someone as clueless as me... who    couldn't even do anything right..!", she continued with detained breath, as if    she's trying to fend off her tears from flooding out.

 

            They sat in silence for a few moments, before Alma finally opened up and        talked. He still did his best to choose the words carefully, "Princess...... no one           starts as a professional.", he began.

 

            Hearing such short yet implicative advice, Vanadia's eyes widened as she lift her head.

 

            "Even the King.. be as his mighty today, he started as a hardworking merchant, no?", Alma continued when suddenly he realized his rudeness addressing the         King and put one hand to close his mouth. "I- I'm sorry for being rude, Princess.     I didn't mean to address His Liege in such belittling manner.", Alma apologized  profusely to Vanadia.

 

            Vanadia shook her head and smiled at him, "No, it's okay. I understand.........",     she paused again, "so it's.... okay to be inapt at the beginning, right.......? I'm...            okay as I am now....?", she asked with weak tone.

 

            "Of course, Your Majesty. Inability is one's gift to help him achieve victory in the    end.", he summed his advice with a big, hearty smile.

 

            Vanadia, seeing Alma's hearty smile, became encouraged and smile started to  came back to herself. "....Yeah. It's okay, huh. Thank you very much, Alma. I'll     work harder from now on!!", she jumped from her chair cheerfully then ran    towards the door. "Thank you, Alma! See you tomorrow at ten past quarter!", as    she waved her hands, she could see Alma smiled from his desk.

            "Yup! I'll do my best from now on! I can't let Father and Mother down!", Vanadia          swore to herself as she strolled back in the hallway, towards her room.

 

            Across the hallway, in the garden Vanadia saw a tall man with a dark robe playing with birds and cats. His face is stern and tough-looking, yet his hand gesture looked gentle as he caresses the cats.

 

            "Hameda! Good afternoon!", Vanadia waved at the man and shouted out loud.

 

            The man named Hameda turned his eyes towards the Princess and waved back, yet his expression remained the same. Vanadia giggled then continue walked down the hallway. Before she could reached the stair handle, she felt someone nudged her back with a strong force.

 

            "Ouch! Who is it!", she cried and turned her back towards the besaid culprit.

 

            The man grinned, and Vanadia knew no one else has that grin beside him.

            "Heh. Finished already? You sure you follow the class thoroughly?", the man's  mocking tone revealed he was no one but Jadel.

 

            "Jaadeeeel! It hurts, you know!", Vanadia cried while rubbing her now-possibly bruised back.

 

            The man laughed seeing Vanadia rubbed her back like an old lady, then sighed           in mocking tone. "My, my. I can see the princess has aged already. Should I get        an ointment for you?", he joked.

 

            "Shush!", Vanadia hushed him while still rubbing her back. "Iit huurrts....", she   whined. "You're slacking job again, Jadel! No wonder Mother is so mad at you     the other day!", Vanadia's accused tone seemed to have no effect on the scruffy      man.

 

            "I'm not slacking job, I'm patrolling!", Jadel tried to find and excuse of his           strolling activity. "Who knows when suspicious figure'll appear! I have to be          super-alert! Hi-yah!", his body moved as if he's mimicking a ninja while         speaking.

 

            "Yeah, yeah... alright... leave me alone... I'm hungry...", Vanadia then realized that          she had skipped breakfast, and it is now already late for lunch. Her only hope is  Ms. Ennu to bring her some afternoon snacks.

 

            Jadel seemed to have no need to prolong the argument and yawned. "Right.    See ya. Good job today", he smiled and ruffled Vanadia's hair. He then went          away, leaving the now-blushing princess in a state of shock.

 

            "Phew..... finally back to my room........", Vanadia let out a big sigh when she        finally came back to her room.

            Atop of the table, there are already some snacks and warm tea. "Ms. Ennu.        Thank you.", she smiled and whispered softly before went into the shower and     cleaned herself.

 

            Nighttime came quickly, shifting the sun away into moon and stars. The warm, humid afternoon has been blown away by the shivering wind cold as ice. The sound of hooting owls can be heard like a murmur from afar. The wind howls and blew through the window, whispering soft invitation to sleep for whoever entangled by it.

 

            "Wah! It's nighttime already...!", Vanadia opened her eyes quickly and blinked   several times after she found out herself laying on the bed.

            "I must have been asleep.... it's already late.", Vanadia hurried up to change her            clothes into a thicker one, and picked up a candelabrum with a scented candle         on it.

 

            Nighttime means one thing to the female occupants of Vanadeus Kingdom: Praying time. The Queen, maids and also Princess Vanadia have to attend a praying session located atop of the castle's left tower. The royalties, however, pray in a different location. They have a sacred place atop of the tower where no one but the Queen and Princess could enter.

 

            "I have to hurry up or I'll miss Mother!", Vanadia hurried up to lock up her room           and ran towards the left tower. Soon after, she found the Queen already walked down the stairs, on her way back from praying.

            "Oh....... I'm late again...", said Vanadia regretfully when she saw the Queen        already finished her praying session.

 

            "Vanadia.", the Queen smiled. "There you are. Please go on without me.", she    approached her daughter and held her hand.

 

            "Mother........ okay.", Vanadia answered with a meek smile. It is rare for her to be late on praying session, as she always tried to be accompanied by the Queen      when going to the left tower. "I'm a bit scared..... it's really dark up there", she          whimpered sheepishly.

 

            "Now, what are you saying?", the Queen frowned, "There are many maids up    there if you're scared. You can ask them to accompany you to the tower's acme.

It's true, Vanadia nodded to herself. Why must I be scared? There are lots of maids there... Ms. Ennu might be still there if I'm hurry. She nodded again to ensure herself.

 

            "Go now, Vanadia. We wouldn't want you to wake up late again tomorrow!", the          Queen winked and pushed Vanadia's back softly.

 

            "Okay. I'll be going, Mom.", Vanadia nodded then climbed the stairs.

 

            The stairs were long and spiraled, it is designed that way so it can be a safe hiding place, should there be a war broke out. Vanadia's tiny feet climbed the stairs fast, she doens't want to be the only one left when finished praying. Her hurried walk brought her into the praying room faster than she thought.

 

            The door to the royalties's praying room are ginormous, and the key to unlock it is the royal key which have been passed through generation. Slowly, Vanadia unlocked the door and pushed it with all of her strength. The door opened, revealing a big, vacant room with only an altar and aisle in front of it. The altar is huge, with a complicated magic circle scribed on it. Vanadia approached the altar and sat down in its center, and started praying.

 

            “.................”, she started concentrating and chanting the prayer. Vanadia tried her            best to push away any unnecessary thoughts and focus praying.

 

            As she started praying, the altar slowly became lit by every ounce of words came out from Vanadia’s mouth. The light illuminates the whole room in bright teal and gave out a warm, gentle feeling.

 

            “...I pray for the safety of our Kingdom.... the health and welfare of our people...         Father, Mother.... Ms. Ennu, Alma, Hameda and......... Jadel...”, she paused slightly  before speaking Jadel’s name. “I must focus..! Now is not the time for this....           tomorrow I’ll tell him.”, Vanadia muttered to herself, ensuring her focus not to    fall away.

 

            Vanadia has long admired Jadel. Despite his scruffy nature and harsh words, Jadel is dubbed as the most hardworking general of the Royal Guards. His combat capability exceed those of his equal and his tactical knowledge has prevented Vanadeus Kingdom from unnecessary war. Unbeknownst to herself, Jadel also held the Princess in a special place of himself. The Princess was always his motivation to perform his duty as a general, but he wouldn’t dare to admit it nonetheless, as his ego has the bigger proportion.

 

            “....I also pray... of this peace. May this tranquil days of our kingdom never came      to halt....”, Vanadia continued her praying.

 

            As she clasped her hands together, something eerie happened. The cold winds howled louder, giving of a frightful sound through the window. The magic circle, where Vanadia sat atop of it, started to glow in odd gleam....

 

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~END OF CHAPTER I~

Author's Note

What do you think about the dialogue, grammar and story plot? What can you advise me to enhance this writing?

Reviews

[J.A. Darling]

I've only had a chance to read a few paragraphs but my first impression is pretty good. The story and the setting seem really interesting and the dialogue is good. My only critique so far is the grammar. It seems like English is not your native language so I won't judge that too harshly, however, if you want to get this book published in English you'll need to have a professional editor go over it first and correct all the grammatical mistakes. But that aside, it looks promising and I look forward to reading more.

[Latifa Rahim]

Thank you very much for your comment! Yes English is not my native language. Actually I'm also improving my grammar by writing and get reviews like this one :)