She Loves Me ...She Loves Me Not

She Loves Me ...She Loves Me Not

A Poem by Einstein Noodle
"

plagiarized cliche' with what i mean to be haiku ;)

"
she loves me      - 
  darkly dawn into grey
                                  oak limbs creak awake the day
                                  slightest light blinding
she loves me not -
  saffron crocus spreads 
                                        mirage  horizon blazes 
                                        pink and orange collide
she loves me      -
             mismatch of color 
                                        intoxicating wonder
                                        clematis climbing
she loves me not -
high noon in the sky  
                                    straight up blistering 
                                    monkey face orchid 
                                     
she loves me    -
low down cooling quiet
                            dusk approaches West Mountain  
                            lotus flower floats                               
she loves me not -
   fire born must go out
                                      nightshade turns to face the moon
                                      warming lights go out
she loves me        -
black velvet cloaks sky
                              mauve carnation vows deeply
                              dreaming bell flowers
                             

© 2020 Einstein Noodle


Author's Note

Einstein Noodle
fun with flowers and haiku ... constructive critique always welcome ;)

My Review

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Featured Review

Hello Mr E. Your title grabbed me big time. Took me right back to when I would pluck the petals off daisy heads) replacing the she with a he though) On reflection how cruel that was. I really do like the haiku/senryu structure. There is so much that can be said in 17 syllables and far more between the lines too. These take skill to do well and yours are exceptionally colourful, flowery and scented. I have to say I do love the heady, intoxicating perfume of garden flowers. Imagery from dawn to sunset, complete with mountains and moonlight. A different kind of love poem, so very creative and very much enjoyed. I lingered here quite a while. Hope you are well my friend across the pond while Miss Covid is calling on us.

Chris

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Einstein Noodle

1 Month Ago

thank you so much as always Christine ... you have a knack for seeing and feeling the whole of poems.. read more
Christine Anne Shaw

1 Month Ago

Ha ha. Dumpling....

Hey fatty boom boom, sweet sugar dumpling.....

Can.. read more
Einstein Noodle

1 Month Ago

ahahaha no ... i'll have to look that one up ;) we have well enough ache and pain .. i think it the .. read more



Reviews

A very cool play on the form.
I really enjoy how you pieced this together and the descriptions of nature are quite vivid and beautiful

Posted 2 Hours Ago


A very unique and clever
piece you have created
with an interesting haiku
format..i think she loves
you landing on the final
note dreaming bell flowers

I love the vivid imagery
you give this poem.
Lotus flower floats
poetic beauty within
each verse..even in the
she loves me nots

awesome write
dear friend

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Einstein Noodle

1 Week Ago

i couldn't be happier with a review, Fran .. and that it is form you is even more gratifying ..thank.. read more
  Fran Marie

1 Week Ago

Awhh; you're
s o very welcome (*-*)
What a creative way to integrate something we all know (she loves me...) and something new and original (your lines). There are also nice juxtapositions here...high noon and setting sun et. This juxtaposition might be the frantic state of uncertainty many in love have felt, that push and pull. Great poem!

Posted 1 Week Ago


Einstein Noodle

1 Week Ago

thanks Cousin! so happy you enjoyed .. hoped that the "she loves me" would bring human emotion to th.. read more
love it, lots to reflect on.

Posted 1 Week Ago


Einstein Noodle

1 Week Ago

thanks for taking time Auntie! keep staying safe and healthy in these difficult times ... peace and .. read more
Great Aunt Astri

1 Week Ago

Thank you. You too.
So sorry I haven't read you in so long! And this is a stunning poem to come back to, thank you for that! This is one of the best of yours I've read in a long time & it's also some of the best haiku I've read on this website. When haiku is so absorbing that I forget to count syllables, then you know I'm hooked. I am envious of the way you describe details in nature & it makes me want to try my hand right away. This line is the best ever: "oak limbs creak awake the day" . . . exactly how it's been around here, surrounded by oaks & it's been blustery lately, even when it's hot, so the limbs have been a-creakin' mightily! This feels like eating fruit salad, so many bright flavors popping & contrasting, nice & juicy & sweet (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Einstein Noodle

3 Weeks Ago

oh my goodness .. your review has blessed me big big! i am humbled and blushing truly .. so happy yo.. read more
Sounds like a most pleasant way to see the day coming and going ... plucking at thoughts then letting them go back to where they came ... it presents itself to me as a meditation, and we all know how I love that.

Posted 1 Month Ago


Einstein Noodle

1 Month Ago

ahahaha yes we do dear friend ... love your take on this .. pluck and let go :)))))) peace sister .... read more
So many hopes and dreams are petals flowing in the wind.. lovely poem, you never ceases to create good stuff!! thank you for sharing..

Posted 1 Month Ago


Einstein Noodle

1 Month Ago

thank you Clueless .. you are too kind .. i feel happy you were able to enjoy the read .. thanks!! :.. read more
So very creative and enjoyed the set up of your write, This is clever. Much enjoyed this

Posted 1 Month Ago


Einstein Noodle

1 Month Ago

Thank Kay-T! great to have your visit and review... glad you like it ... great to be getting to know.. read more
What a wonderfully original way of placing loving, wondering thoughts but doubts and questions, Gene!! And even more. you've done all that in structured form, I so envy each three lines, start to finish

Seems however that although we don't want to include the wretched bug, it clouds our lives more often or not. But, thank you, thank you for given me a sweet change of scenery for w few minutes, dear friend. Will come back a few more times to soak in this, it's a true gem in every sense of the word.

Posted 1 Month Ago


emmajoy

1 Month Ago

NOOO... just thought I'd been too brief, usually say far, far too much.. as now. :)
Einstein Noodle

1 Month Ago

just teasing you Em! ;)
emmajoy

1 Month Ago

I know, just a little vunerable, sensitive at present. Ignore me!
Intriguing and delightfully descriptive!
I enjoyed this, the actual process of reading adds an interesting impact.
x

Posted 1 Month Ago


Einstein Noodle

1 Month Ago

:) thanks sharonlee! :) happy you liked a day in a life ... love and joy my friend! :)
E.

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Added on May 17, 2020
Last Updated on May 17, 2020

Author

Einstein Noodle
Einstein Noodle

Pork Rind, AK



About
"What arbitrary assignments! .. What arbitrary differentiations! What one-sided preferences, first for this, then for that property of a thing! ... with words it is never a question of truth, never a .. more..

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