She Loves Me ...She Loves Me Not

She Loves Me ...She Loves Me Not

A Poem by Einstein Noodle
"

plagiarized cliche' with what i mean to be haiku ;)

"
she loves me      - 
  darkly dawn into grey
                                  oak limbs creak awake the day
                                  slightest light blinding
she loves me not -
  saffron crocus spreads 
                                        mirage  horizon blazes 
                                        pink and orange collide
she loves me      -
             mismatch of color 
                                        intoxicating wonder
                                        clematis climbing
she loves me not -
high noon in the sky  
                                    straight up blistering 
                                    monkey face orchid 
                                     
she loves me    -
low down cooling quiet
                            dusk approaches West Mountain  
                            lotus flower floats                               
she loves me not -
   fire born must go out
                                      nightshade turns to face the moon
                                      warming lights go out
she loves me        -
black velvet cloaks sky
                              mauve carnation vows deeply
                              dreaming bell flowers
                             

© 2020 Einstein Noodle


Author's Note

Einstein Noodle
fun with flowers and haiku ... constructive critique always welcome ;)

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Featured Review

Hello Mr E. Your title grabbed me big time. Took me right back to when I would pluck the petals off daisy heads) replacing the she with a he though) On reflection how cruel that was. I really do like the haiku/senryu structure. There is so much that can be said in 17 syllables and far more between the lines too. These take skill to do well and yours are exceptionally colourful, flowery and scented. I have to say I do love the heady, intoxicating perfume of garden flowers. Imagery from dawn to sunset, complete with mountains and moonlight. A different kind of love poem, so very creative and very much enjoyed. I lingered here quite a while. Hope you are well my friend across the pond while Miss Covid is calling on us.

Chris

Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Einstein Noodle

6 Months Ago

thank you so much as always Christine ... you have a knack for seeing and feeling the whole of poems.. read more
Christine Anne Shaw

6 Months Ago

Ha ha. Dumpling....

Hey fatty boom boom, sweet sugar dumpling.....

Can.. read more
Einstein Noodle

6 Months Ago

ahahaha no ... i'll have to look that one up ;) we have well enough ache and pain .. i think it the .. read more



Reviews

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KSF
You so beautifully described the torturous highs n' lows in the game called love--from dawn to dusk he does or he does not S***:)...such scrumptious images...each a paining of it own:)

Posted 2 Months Ago


Einstein Noodle

2 Months Ago

Kira! thank you so much ... i feel especially humbled and blessed by this review of yours .. i think.. read more
KSF

2 Months Ago

Your words brighten up this otherwise gray gloomy morning...you spoil me...I feel the same...have a .. read more
What a lovely and stirring collection of haiku. I especially like the rhyming aspect and the way you give a definite tenor to the different moods of love and heartbreak.

The ‘she loves me’ haiku are soft and subtly sensuous while the ‘she loves me not’ haiku offer a sense of the sadness or loneliness of being jilted. I love how you created that effect with your imagery and showed rather than told about the heights and depths of love.

A great offering from you, E. Lovely to read you today!

Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Einstein Noodle

2 Months Ago

wow....Ellis...thank you so much! i am humbled and so happy you saw all that .. wow .. i am so pleas.. read more
Excellent stamina in this one as you keep the threads together in the seven haiku and blend in the moving of the earth and flowers in colour and scent. Ends on a high-she loves you!

Posted 3 Months Ago


Einstein Noodle

3 Months Ago

thank you so much for your appreciation of the challenges in this .. and that's what it was for me ... read more
"fire born must go out" -- my guttural response to this was, "Ain't that a goddamn truth?"
That's what my first thought, and it almost made me laugh out loud. But, I guess, that's a good thing - that your poem had such a markedly strong effect on me...:)

Posted 3 Months Ago


Einstein Noodle

3 Months Ago

yep .. ain't it the truth indeed ;) glad it gave you a bit of a chuckle ... life is a fickle mistres.. read more
I love this, very creative and all the corresponding haikus are gorgeous, my jaw dropped when i looked up the monkey face orchid !!!!! so gonna order one, heh ,yea right now :D

Posted 3 Months Ago


Einstein Noodle

3 Months Ago

OHHHHHHHHH i am so glad you looked that up, Corset .. they're incredible aren't they??!! and of cour.. read more
Wonderful use of words and thoughts. The words danced to meaningful thoughts and wonder. Thank you for sharing the outstanding poetry my friend. I did enjoy this poem.
Coyote



Posted 3 Months Ago


Einstein Noodle

3 Months Ago

thanks again my friend! for taking time .. this one was a bit of a mind challenge and fun for me .. .. read more
Coyote Poetry

2 Months Ago

I liked this one and you are welcome my friend.
I like the pace that you created with this piece, and the motion I can sense of the flower twisting and turning, back and forth, like a pendulum, like the nature of this love, it can't quite find its grasp. Hot and cold, light and dark. I'm happy that the poem ended on a petal of love, even though this may be behind the view of dreams. I really enjoyed this, and its beautiful imagery.

Posted 3 Months Ago


Einstein Noodle

3 Months Ago

thanks LouBelle! thank you very much for taking time and for your encouraging review .. i am happy t.. read more
LouBelle

3 Months Ago

Absolutely, that's why we do it... ain't it?! :)))
Einstein Noodle

3 Months Ago

yep :)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
I like the way you alway lead the reader. The quick and easy banter, of pairing moments within the day to emotions.

Posted 3 Months Ago


Einstein Noodle

3 Months Ago

hey kiddo :) i was just on my way to read another chapter of your book ... thanks for stopping to re.. read more
I love this I laughed and smiled
but I had to look you up because
writers cafe said your account
didn't exist I was like that isn't
correct so I had fun with that
haha...

But here we are
I found you once again
my friend and I haven't
been on here in awhile
and I have new poems
just been too tired to
post anything.

I hope you and
your family is well 😊👍



she loves me -
darkly dawn into grey
oak limbs creak awake the day
slightest light blinding
she loves me not -
saffron crocus spreads
mirage horizon blazes
pink and orange collide
she loves me -
mismatch of color
intoxicating wonder
clematis climbing

Posted 4 Months Ago


Einstein Noodle

4 Months Ago

thanks for stopping Benita! yeah! i'm still here .. i love this place! so many wonderful art to read.. read more
I liked the way you used the flowers to describe the scene of magic, love...warm and cool colors to capture dawn to dusk...and to describe the night sky as black velvet; I thin she loves you more in the vacern of darkness... really loved all the details. Fondly Betty

Posted 4 Months Ago


Einstein Noodle

4 Months Ago

i don't know how i missed your review Betty! didn't get a notice somehow .. thanks for taking time t.. read more
Betty Hermelee

4 Months Ago

Your welcome!

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Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on May 17, 2020
Last Updated on May 17, 2020

Author

Einstein Noodle
Einstein Noodle

Pork Rind, AK



About
"What arbitrary assignments! .. What arbitrary differentiations! What one-sided preferences, first for this, then for that property of a thing! ... with words it is never a question of truth, never a .. more..

Writing
Norma Norma

A Story by Einstein Noodle



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