i'll see you soon

i'll see you soon

A Poem by just take a breath

i dont know where you are

and i cant see you

but you cant be very far

somehow i feel you

 

my dreams shift around

believe me, i know

but as much as they want me to

i cant let you go

 

i cant wait to hear your voice

for our constant stares to linger

to dance to no noise

for our perfect picture

 

i cant wait for our kisses

and our stupid fights

i cant wait to hold hands

and to hold you at night

 

so ill just sit here and wait

wish every night and day

and one day it will happen

ill see you soon, ok?

© 2011 just take a breath


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Featured Review

A powerful poem. When we miss and need someone. Leave a yearning for the thing we can't feel and have. I like how you described your desire in the poem.
'i cant wait to hear your voice
for our constant stares to linger
to dance to no noise
for our perfect picture"
Thank you for the excellent poem.
Coyote

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I think this is sweet and emotional. Heartfelt, I mean. But I think I would have liked it better if it had used capitalization and punctuation (where needed. Such as in contractions). At least you consistently refused to capitalize though, which actually makes it look better than having a mixture. This poem makes me wonder what had happened for this to be created, which is always a good feature. I feel like this has a lot of potential.

Posted 12 Years Ago


'the dance to no noise'... This is such a beautiful line - definitely one to savour. And I love the recognition of the things you miss when someone isn't there - the good stuff and even the 'stupid fights'... Top work as usual, JTAB.


Posted 12 Years Ago


this was a gread read. it was like water flowing down a river :) very good.

Posted 12 Years Ago


the sincerity speaks volumes and I like your choice of simple wordage and straight forward expression. very nice

Posted 12 Years Ago


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Max
first off it's beautiful and very powerful.
I like these kinds of poems more than most. Great job

Posted 12 Years Ago


naw, this is so sweet. loved it.

Posted 12 Years Ago


I love the question at the very end.
This is my favorite stanza:

i cant wait for our kisses
and our stupid fights
i cant wait to hold hands
and to hold you at night


Posted 12 Years Ago


Aweh what a lovely poem. I could relate it this poem was wonderfull

Posted 12 Years Ago


Somehow I feel you though I don't know where you are. I can't let you go even though my dreams shift around. I want our perfect picture.....oh just to hear your voice. I want to hold you at night and taste your kisses. So I will sit here and wait and see you soon. Faith in love........hope.......always! Beautiful!

Posted 12 Years Ago


A knowing expression of longing and desire ... great writing!

Posted 12 Years Ago



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2398 Views
28 Reviews
Rating
Added on August 2, 2011
Last Updated on August 2, 2011
Tags: ill, see, you, soon, love, distance, believe

Author

just take a breath
just take a breath

About
about me? im 15, im a girl, im blond, and tend to take my feelings out through music and writing. if you knew me, you would know non-believers drive me insane! this includes people that say "your t.. more..

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