The poem talks of a man who has served his many years within the walls of a prison, now left free into society, expected to wander and live in a world where no one is aware of his presence even.
It's a strange sense to smell,
the scent of a million yesterdays in this cell.
Curse my crime and release me for what I am,
This place is no longer for me to dwell.
Silent breaths be demanded,
On this path for those denied,
Cremate what’s left of being captivated,
For now I am done paying the price and I shall not abide.
He walks out standing tall,
Life is no longer what happens in the next cell
wall.
Colours of his weakened eyes reflecting the open
skies,
As the door shuts behind him begins a different
kind of crawl.
Into the world anew,
Roaming these streets without a clue
There is a question what would you do,
If they served life in a platter, would you still
see it through?
A house, A Home, A chant, A prayer,
I stop to think which to reach for, each one is so rare
Who knows what deserves to be first, should I even care?
Fantastic writing again my friend, I really understand this feeling of once caged
and then not all to well, around my neck of the woods, we have a saying"you don't
have to live that way anymore" when someone is reliving there time served. Anyways,
great job, thanks for sharing and b-blessed!
Posted 10 Years Ago
2 of 2 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Thanks a lot James, I appreciate you connecting with the emotion in the write. I thought of writing .. read moreThanks a lot James, I appreciate you connecting with the emotion in the write. I thought of writing this after a few interviews I saw of rehabilitating inmates, it really moved me to see their condition, the young and the old. Thank you for the review my friend
You've captured the feeling and emotions of your character, as if you were in his position, were you? It is a strange feeling indeed to have to mingle with the ones that stuck you in that cell to begin with. However, justice must be served. The only way I can relate is through watching shawshank redemption, as Red had to face society after doing over twenty years of prison time. I think you've played around with the rhythm and rhyme in each stanza, from taking it through the Shakespearean abab, to Italian sonnets, abba; magnificent work, and a rare talent. Thanks for sharing.
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Hey Shane. No I haven't been in the physical position of the person i've described here my friend, b.. read moreHey Shane. No I haven't been in the physical position of the person i've described here my friend, but I could empathise deeply with the emotion of being caged. And yes shawshank is stark reminder of the condition society places on these people, I remember Red saying that after a while they feel institutionalized, meaning the prison becomes the only reality they know. Thank you so much shane, I deeply value your appreciation of my work :) cheers
The state we are in now is a consequence of what we decided to have in the past.
The roads we take are basically choices made based on decisions in the past as it is also our choice to see what we want to see now and in the future. No one forces us to see. Light can be perceived as warmth and sight or it can also be perceived as glaring, scorching heat. The shadows can be perceived as shade and protection or they can be perceived as despair. It is from our attitudes and emotions where decisions are made. True, that rationality, logic and intellect play a role in our choices but it is emotion which plays are great role in driving us to them.
In the abysmal chaos, find beauty for it does exist.
Posted 10 Years Ago
10 Years Ago
Thats a good perspective to have but I guess not all in society and in this case, the nether realm o.. read moreThats a good perspective to have but I guess not all in society and in this case, the nether realm of it, have such thoughts even at a distant sight visible due to the harshness of their reality and mental (intentional or unintentional) bent. Its sad but is a fact. If the thinking you speak of exists , it definitely has not permeated to a lot of those that we speak of. We hope someday it does. Thank you reading. Cheers
an interesting idea for a poem Roshan, i have to say its work like this that makes me glad i've met you here, thank you my friend :)
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Thank you so much Richard, I deeply cherish these kind words of yours. I honestly feel great with th.. read moreThank you so much Richard, I deeply cherish these kind words of yours. I honestly feel great with this encouragement right now. Cheers and thank you again my friend :)
It is amazing. every emotion you expressed so beautifully that they forming in my mind. I liked these lines of your poem a lot:
Colours of his weakened eyes reflecting the open skies,
As the door shuts behind him begins a different kind of crawl.
how the people and countrymen turn away from prisoners who comes out of the prison, you have expressed in such a way that scene is forming in my mind.
the last stanza:
The mirror speaks one day
They’ve left you broken beyond recognition,
To have no choice but to abide.
is depicting reality. you are master.
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Hey Irenic, Thank you so much for your kind words :) Im glad you liked the piece and could visualize.. read moreHey Irenic, Thank you so much for your kind words :) Im glad you liked the piece and could visualize all that it intended. Cheers!
This is an excellent piece!May not be literally, but each of us are confined to the cage we build for ourselves and struggle to get out of it once we are used to it. You've wisely captured it in the form of a prison man. Great job Roshan!
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Truly it can take that meaning just as well...a cage inside is built much easier than the ones outsi.. read moreTruly it can take that meaning just as well...a cage inside is built much easier than the ones outside. Thanks for the appreciation deepika :)
This is a real masterpiece Roshan.. Thought-provoking on several fronts. Some lines are very powerful.
"Curse my crime and release me for what I am,"
"Cremate what’s left of being captivated,"
"Colours of his weakened eyes reflecting the open skies," - fantastic!
This write speaks volumes about the mental agony of a person who has served time. The way you describe his mental state, his thoughts and what prison has done to his heart and his soul is really outstanding.
Really good write :)
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Thanks a lot for the review :) Im glad you liked the piece and how its written, i really appreciate .. read moreThanks a lot for the review :) Im glad you liked the piece and how its written, i really appreciate it. cheers
Hey, I am Roshan, I am a poet, writer, musician and artist. I love poetry and it has gotten the best of my creative side off late.
I sincerely hope you folks enjoy checking my content out and let m.. more..