Prologue

opening for The Wild Outdoors

     “Speaking of that woman, how’s she treating you these days? It must be hard working with one of Them all the time.”

     “She’s a slave driver! No, no, not really. She’s a very sweet woman. A little reckless, a bit unprofessional, but I enjoy working with her. She knows nothing about computers, though, it’s great. I got her IP address a few months ago and I bought a new monitor so I can keep track of her - and she's clueless! She just wonders why I’m so efficient. I know what she’s doing or what she wants before she even tells me.”

     “Taji, you weasel! Isn’t that kind of rude?”

     “What? I’m not watching anything private! I’m not that mean! I’m just making sure we get our work done that much faster! She doesn’t know, though. I fixed her printer yesterday. The way she talks about it, you’d think it was rocket science.”

     “I couldn’t fix a printer. I fix cars, baby. Not hardware. By the way, is she still driving that pathetic 2206 pick-up? I wish she‘d let me fix That!”

     “Yes, she’s still got it. It hasn’t broken down, yet, though. Or we hope it hasn’t. Don’t get her wrong, though, she’s a bright woman. She’s just technologically challenged. Even for a human. Oh, by the way, I’ve been meaning to ask you if you wanted to go to that new Mediterranean restaurant, downtown. My parents celebrated their anniversary there the other night, they said it was really fantastic. Soft music, classy candle light, antique 1900’s styling, and they cater to our kind. Just imagine, baby, the best gyro you’ve ever had in your --”

     “Oh, you! You’re really something! It sounds very dreamy, though, but I can’t tonight. I’m fixing dinner for Mom. I swear, Dad is hopeless. What about tomorrow?”

     “Eleven o’clock?”

     “That’s so late! Eight o‘clock, hon.”

     “Ten? I want to eat when there’s more of us around and fewer of them.”

     “That does sound nice . . . But I want to be in bed by one a.m., Taji, you hear me? No more side-trips to computer stores, pawn shops, grocery stores, book stores, the library --”

     “Rayen, love, you know me! I’ll get you there! No stops, this time, I promise! I‘ll have you home by midnight!”

     “I will believe that when I see it.”

     He closed out the program, and pulled off his headset, tracing its contours thoughtfully with his claws, a soft smile playing on his furry lips.

Reviews

[Demauscian]

Ok, you've piqued my interest.

I do love dinosaurs (Jurassic Park FTW), I just don't write about them because I'm too busy dreaming about stars (astronomy, not lame/rich people).

This obviously takes place well after 2206, but we do not know the exact date yet. This can be viewed as a good thing, it keeps the reader engaged because they need to infer info rather than having it spoon fed.

I'll await the follow up (assuming you will have one, *crosses fingers)

[scatterbrain]

"Slave driver"... not the most potent joke, in my opinion. especially if she doesn't bicker and tell him what to do (which you don't talk about). maybe something dealing with her age?

my next concern is with the story. all it consists of so far is dialog. by the second line, you should have set us in a scene/location and designated who is talking. otherwise you just have two voices, and that's not very interesting :(

"Even for a human."
this constant barrage of dialog without knowing whether it's through phone, or face-to-face, or what... i read this line and really couldn't care. and as a prologue, this isn't doing anything. this is more of a scene, the middle of a scene. you don't set up any foundations; history or psychology or even identity (of characters)... and this leads all this information to crumble. it's nothing, irrelevant. start the story, then lead us on with these strange statements about the future and not being human. interesting, but certainly not a prologue.