The Falling of Tears

Not done yet.. what do you think? Suggestions for editing?

And this day, unlike all the rest, was overcast and lifeless.

The story begins as most of them do,

with a girl and her father, an almost inseparable two.

 

You see, it begins in a time before nearly all can remember,

only these tales enlightening us on how things came to be.

 

The story begins before that rainy day arrived,

when this girl and her dad lived a most content life.

She grew up within the most powerful place imaginable;

a palace for the super natural beings and their families.

Her dad, none the less, was the supreme ruler of everyone and everything, no matter how big or

   small.

He created the earth and the ocean, the sky and the water,

the trees and the waves, the grass and the seaweed;

but what you and I see today on land is far from what was seen then.

Before she was born, the trees and plants were bare, with not a leaf in sight.

People did not even know what one was, for they never experienced it in their lives.

 

But none the less, as soon as she was born, leaves began to appear on every plant imaginable.

Her mother and father first saw a rosy pink face

   and quickly decided the perfect name for their child; Rosie.

As most tales go, sadness must go along with happiness.

So therefore, on Rosie’s seventh birthday, her loving mother unexpectedly passed away.

The two continued to live on with their lives, always with a hole in their torn hearts.

 

As the years continued on, Rosie and her father were always curious,

   always pondering where the leaves came from.

Of course, if you remember, her father invented everything else in the world,

and that made him especially inquisitive.

 

Upon turning the age of thirteen, Rosie had grown a new found sense of independence.

She began to wander around the palace, finding new places and learning new things.

Even so, Rosie quickly grew out of the confined and over protected building.

She yearned for more experiences and learning new things.

As time passed, she plotted a way to get around the palace guards to freedom.

At age thirteen, it was finally finished.

Finally, Rosie would be able to travel outside and discover what her true purpose in life is.

 

One night, after everyone in the palace was fast asleep, she executed the plan.

Duck under windows, tip toe around doors,

Climb all the way up to the top floor and then scale the building.

Such a dangerous task, yet one her heart was telling her to do.

 

Finally, Rosie touched ground once again.

She began on her voyage, not knowing where it would take her.

She roamed the rolling hills,

walked through the open valleys,

and finally came upon a small village; a long way away from her home.

“Something feels different,” she heard herself whisper;

and even in that quite voice it broke the eerie silence which consumed the air.

The difference, though, she did not know.

As Rosie continued to pace herself into the town, she noticed the emptiness.

Empty homes, empty stores, empty streets.

 

Then, without any notice, appeared a wolf.

His hair gray, like an old man,

yet with bright blue eyes that were impossible to look away from.

Rosie stared at him and he stared right back.

There was a connection,

as if they had known each other for years.

 

Slowly, step by step, they came closer to each other.

 Out of nowhere, she heard a voice;

deep, like something out of a frightening story you would read.

Rosie looked around, curious, and then found herself again looking into the wolf’s eyes.

The voice sounded again.

“I know you,” he said. “Do not be frightened.

To me you are Rosalie, and forever shall be.”

 

Rosie was scared out of her mind, for why wouldn’t she be?

She asked the wolf in a stuttered voice, “How.. how do you know me?”

He replied in the same deep voice, “I have known you since before you knew yourself.

I have known your destiny; I have known we would meet on this day.”

Her reply in a voice shakier than before was that the wolf had not answered her.

They continued their discussion in the abandoned town, never moving closer,

never sitting, never blinking.

 

Rosie found out that everything she had done, her exploring and escaping the castle, had been her destiny and what the wolf set out for her to do.

Confused for a moment, she said nothing,

the town back to its eerie and silent nature.

The most stunning was the wolf’s next words that broke the silence.

Rosie found out that everything she had done, her exploring and escaping the castle, had been her destiny and what the wolf set out for her to do.

Confused for a moment, she said nothing,

the town back to its eerie and silent nature.

The most stunning was the wolf’s next words that broke the silence.

He said, “You created the leaves.”

 Completely perplexed, Rosie responded, “What.. What do you mean I created the leaves? How is that possible?” she contested.

The wolf went on to explain how when she was born, each tear drop any person or animal shed

   would transform into a leaf.

He was sent by Rosie’s dad, creator of all, to meet with Rosie and inform her on the importance

   she played in the role of earth.

The last thing the wolf told Rosie was that it was their role to travel across the world and tell

   every animal and human not to be afraid to cry;

that it is ok and will help the earth when they do,

and finally, to only let the others know her as Rosalie.

For Rosie was only a name her family and closest friends would know her as.

Author's Note

Not done yet.. what do you think?

Reviews

[f**k you]

Wow. Such a strange story, but captivating nonetheless. I really did enjoy this. However, the part about the wolf's piercing eyes, you mention that adjective twice and it seems redundant. That whole paragraph, along with other stanzas throughout, seem kind of forced, or choppy....I don't know. I wish you would go into more detail of her mother, and why you focus so much on Rosie's name at the end...that confused me. Your words flow nicely most of the time, and the imagery was lovely! Keep it up!

-nicole-was-here-

[Deepshikha]

The end. The question. It works. It's not very poetic, though.
Some of the stanzas do read like poetry, though. The consistency of the line structure really helps with that. I think it would help if you put in higher, elevated word choice and sentence structure - especially in establishing a more poetic feel. Puritan plain style is nothing compared to Shakespearean description, you know?

[Hippy]

Her reply in a voice shakier than before
was that the wolf had not answered her1

that sentence left me a little confused, maby a little rewording would help, but i like and dislike the story, i wanted more reason than that the wolf was sent by her father too her but if he was sent by her father and he created the wolf then he would know why the leaves were there, but you probly got some other deep thought to that so if you do express it more clearly. i love the lesson at the end though its smart saying the tears help the world physically, in this sort of myth, which we know it helps alot emotionally and its very brave for one to cry in this world and your trying to make that easier bravo, but i think the wolf needs to be more important if he knows all, the way you write it is interesting but i like it it fits this myth type of story

[Coyote Poetry]

A very good story. I do believe some people can draw animals to them and neither have fear of each other. I like the story. You brought me in and held my attention till the last word. I like the complete story. You could expand the ending. Would be a powerful story with pictures. A outstanding story.
Coyote

[Deepshikha]

This is very beautiful, Rach, especially the last few stanzas. I won't deny that I kinda expected the ending, and that it reads more like prose and less like poetry, but it's awesome nonetheless. :D
You really should write more.

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

You've packed this story with suspense and mystery.
We still had enough events to keep us interested.
Rosie represents a piece of us all. I can definitely identify
with the journey to become her own person.

You have a ton of metaphors and themes for coming of age.
The Serious undertones give this story the traction that allow
it to hold on to our emotions.