Black is the Devil and Evil is the Sun

The sun ruthlessly pounds all that is underneath it. It is reminiscent of a place in California, named the "Devil's Anvil." With hammer and tongs, the black Devil reels back and mercilessly pounds all that he sees, and lets out a squealing laugh. The pitiless sun is a pitiless sun. The shimmering heat rises like a genie from a bottle in front of me. It is like a liquid shimmering wave that rises up around my feet. The sun melts both ice cream and blacktop, as everything turns into liquid. The brutal fumes mix together, but what offends the most is the smell of tar-the tar under your feet is turning into liquid, as your feet slip around on something that used to be solid. Today, the Earth will be lashed by the whip of the sun. This vicious heat rides across our land like the Mongolian Horde. Like a hundred thousand horse backed devils storming into our land, a hundred thousand swords flashing in the sun.

 

 

Evil is the sun and black is the devil.

 

 

Author's Note

I understand that a book was written by a World War II survivor named "The Devil's Anvil" (James H. Hallas), but my original inspiration for the lines in this piece was from the actual place in California, which I heard of before I knew of the book.

Reviews

[asdarkeyesclose]

I thought this was good until I got to the metaphor of the Mongolian Hoarde and then I simply loved it. I don't really see the sun as evil though as living in England it is generally nice and warm not blistering in the summer months. a lot of strength to your descriptions in this. fantastic.

[Samuel Pennell]

Thank you! Yes, I can understand that in England you would want to encourage the sun as much as possible. In parts of America, we have the opposite problem!

[Patricia]

This is a wonderful prose! I can totally feel and picture this piece. We travel out west nearly every year and we went through the Mojave Desert and it was exactly like this write. I can remember it clearly and this just brought back that memory, not just the memories but the smells and sight of the heat rising in waves and our shoes melting on the melting road when we pulled over. As for the piece overall it is full of beautiful imagery which is very much important for a prose write. You keep the reader interested and that is a hard thing to do with this type of poetry. Milton or better yet Dante was brilliant at it and his work is a good example of prose and you should read if you haven't already. Inferno is his best piece of work. Keep writing! You are doing a great job. :)

[Samuel Pennell]

Patricia-Thank you so much for reading, and your words are so encouraging. You are probably the most encouraging reader I've had, and I really appreciate that. It is great that the sense imagery is really something that you can relate to, and something that sparks a memory. That seems to be one of the functions of writing. God bless you and thank you for reading!

[Patricia]

Awww! you are so very welcome! Just send me a read request when you post and I will get to them as soon as I can. :)

[poetdoug]

" A thousand swords flashing in the sun."
You have a wonderful way with words my friend.
You take us on a short but dramatic journey from start to finish.
Then you leave us 'sitting in the sun with the devil.!
Great job.

[Samuel Pennell]

Thank you so much! I appreciate it!

[MOON]

Poignant write and so descriptive , the merciless sun and damage, like a Mongolian horde great imagery.
Good write!

[Sheila Kline]

Your write is very interesting and held my attention all the way through it. I agree with the review of Douglas White that it would make an easy transition from a story to a poem. You have rhymes in it and the lines are not too long to do a poetry format.
My oh my, it must be a hot, hot place!

[Douglas White]

Having lived there for a year, this sounds like an average summer day in Phoenix, AZ, where summer temps averaged around 112F-115F. While I was there, a friend of mine showed me how hot it was by actually frying an egg on the sidewalk. (Fully cooked in less than 2 minutes.)

As for the writing, this strikes me as more poetic than a story. If you break up the paragraph into the individual thoughts per line, you'll see what I mean. Give it a try, see if you catch what I'm saying.

Good piece of work, either way.

[Samuel Pennell]

Thanks Douglas (Doug?). A lot of my writings end up being poetry, but I was trying a new format with this one. It makes total sense if it seems poetic. Phoenix sounds kind of hellish-I've heard that before.

[Douglas White]

Doug is fine. I was thinking, after reading it again, that your sentences are strongly reminiscent of E. Hemingway, with their brevity and phrasing. It really works in terms of the content.

[Samuel Pennell]

Thanks, Doug! I haven't read a lot of Hemingway, and not in years. Which story does this remind you of? (That's a huge compliment.)

[Douglas White]

You're welcome for the compliment. I certainly meant it that way. Your writing doesn't remind me of any story in particular, just the writing style.

He was one of the few writers of -Literature- (yes, the capital L was intentional) that I could stand to read, mostly because he went out of his way to develop a tight and economical use of language. He got right to the point. Most "serious" literature is written with a slow, dense, meandering, intentionally pretentious, and overbearing use of language that makes my skin crawl. I can't stand pretentious writers.

Hence, I have a large collection of Stephen King.
And I used to love Mad Magazine. :^D

[icelandicblue]

I like this very much. I like the idea of darkness being formed beneath the sun in a fabulous array of contrasts. I also loved this line:

This vicious heat floods into our land like the Mongolian Horde. A hundred thousand horse backed devils riding across our land

I can feel that line in my bones.

One small bit of advice take it or leave it I would remove the first liquid and have the line read:
but what offends the most is the smell of liquid tar-the tar under your feet is turning into liquid

You've got 3 liquids in a row and they lose their power so close together.

[Samuel Pennell]

That's really interesting, and I often think of that. I think in the future, as I refine my technique, I will get more "sparse" and selective with my words. That is a good suggestion.

I definitely appreciate the review!

[icelandicblue]

You are welcome. I would remove the liquid before tar and keep the preceding one and the last one. Implication is a powerful poetic tool when it is done well. ; )

[Samuel Pennell]

That was a great suggestion, and I saw what you were saying, and I actually just made that correction, along with a couple others.

[Marie]

Sounds worse that South Texas, and that's saying a lot.

[Natalie]

Powerful thought, I don't have much to offer as I'm still taking it in. A very good piece of writing and a welcome truth that needs to be heard

[Samuel Pennell]

Thank you so much. Feel free to review my other writings!

[MandaBear]

This is kind of sad but still a good write =)