One Heartbeat

All it takes is a beat of the heart to know you're still living

Thump.
With a sickening beat, my heart pumps blood into my veins,
Blood... and pain
As both are necessary for me to live now:
The blood to keep my body moving
The pain to remind me I'm still human,
-Still feeling the things I don't want to feel.

Thump.
I drop my head to the ground
And call it my bed
Because no other bed can bear the weight of my sorrows
And if I try hard enough, I can almost imagine myself sinking into the earth-
Lost and Forgotten...
--Just like real life.

Thump.
My lack of tears slams into the floor hard,
Magnified only by the sound of wails I never wailed
I'm tired of crying over things I can't change
-So sick of myself resorting to poetry
Everytime I feel like I'm losing her

Thump.
I slam my fists into the proverbial wall keeping her from me
Hating myself, this world, and the way I feel
--But never her.
I couldn't possibly make myself hate her
Even if I wanted too
-And I don't
She means everything to me,
-Even if she "doesn't do anything"
They're her words
Never to be mine

Thump.
My beats grow distant,
My heart giving in-
I can already start to feel the relief pouring through my veins...
--- I hate it.
Soon nothing will be left from this life I'm living
No pain. No anguish. No love

Thump.


Thump.



Thu...

Reviews

[Michaela Moerke]

I can see your talent ameliorate with each peice. I have to say, I am proud of you Darian :)

[Jerryyoung1z]

A truck load of emotions packed into this one. The "Thump" did give one hell of an effect. Nice work.

[Darian B.]

Thanks Jerryyoung, writing is my release. Im glad to hear you like it :)

[Neal S]

Yes! Yes! Yes! This is brilliant. Great execution of flow and tempo alone with emotion. Really dig this.

[Darian B.]

Thanks Neal, Im glad you liked it!

[Christian Bonoan]

I love this style, i love the flow, i love this poem.
the emotions are very well shown. Very nice!

[Darian B.]

Thank you Christian, it means a lot!

[Valentine]

If we never experience real pain...how will we be able to recognize true happiness when it comes. Valentine

[William Liston]

Sometimes, I'm thankful for the pain I feel because it lets me know that I can feel an equal level of joy. With that being said, I like how this piece illustrates two contrasting aspects of pain: Although it hurts, it lets us know that we're still alive. Your description gave a nice introduction to the poem.

This piece feels like someone staring at a shattered mirror and only seeing broken hopes. There's both pain and depth, especially in the fourth stanza. I think that part of the poem captures your love for the unidentified "her" ... it's almost like that stanza screams "I'LL ALWAYS LOVE YOU." It was so poignant that throughout great misery, you felt it necessart to write "I couldn't possibly make myself hate her" ... it's like, you care for her and couldn't possibly feel any other way ... your love for her is as simple and true as "2 + 2 = 4" ... I can't really describe what I'm trying to say ... it was painfully beautiful in every way. I enjoyed.

- William Liston

[William Liston]

I forgot to leave this in my review:

Have you ever thought about how innocent a heartbeat is? To me, it's one of the most beautiful things on this earth. I see it as your body's desire to keep you alive -- regardless of what you've done in the past or what you'll do in the future. Have you ever felt a baby's heartbeat? If not, you should ... it's truly amazing (to me at least).

[William Liston]

Something that may interest you: http://tiltingourheadsup.blogspot.co.id/2012/11/mario-benedetti-tactic-and-strategy.html?m=1

Something else that may interest you: https://m.poets.org/poetsorg/poem/variation-word-sleep

[Darian B.]

I think I know what you are saying and as always, I really appreciate it. I really couldnt feel any other way about her, no matter what happens. I will definitely check those sites out though, Ive loved everything else you have recommended so I look forward to checking these out

[Lorry]

Powerful and intense words, feelings and emotions, causing chaos from within and diluting what you see and participate in, in daily life, all the while, thoughts thumping, coursing and pumping through your mind, of the confusion being, which is so all consuming and personal, yet familiar to millions. Perfectly captured life behind each beat.

[Darian B.]

Thank you so much for your kind words Nemo, they mean a lot!