Life

Life

How Transient it is,

Like the edge of  a knife,

Here then gone, 

Like the gentle Swan,

And dark, as satins’ spawn.

  An epic tail,

Or a long unraveled trail.

No one the same,

And not one reclaimed.

When started 

It cannot be stopped.

When stopped,

It cannot be restarted.

all the hell and terrible strife,

Is a costly price,

The price, for life.

Author's Note

well? i have gone on o poetry frenzy tonight lol.

Reviews

[Devons]

You have captured quite forensically and clinically all the beautifully mysterious but shocking qualities of the subject in such short, brutal, yet savagely accurate words. A work of art in concision and meaning. These poems you have created may be short but deal with grand subjects on a very grand and eloquent scale.

[alesuriko]

Again, an interesting poem and selective perspective on what Life is. Once again, not a fan of the color change but it's your poem and your artistic choices that make the poem it's own. I liked the line "And dark, as satins' spawn" although I'm not so sure on the position of that apostrophe. And the line "Like the edge of a knife" I was wondering if that extra space between of and a was purposeful? Also the lines "I cannot be stopped / When stopped" it's a little contradictory, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. But obviously life can always be stopped no matter when it's started and can be stopped even before it's started. So that was the only part of the poem I disagreed with. Otherwise, wonderful imagery, good rhythm and flow.

[R.S. Wilder]

Huh. What can I possibly say to this that hasn't already been said? I agree with all the other reviewers. There's no point in even trying to offer any kind of constructive criticism simply because it's almost flawless.

[Ishan Sadwelkar]

I liked the flow, as well as the concept.
Abstract, surreal start.
And a realist end.

Although forgive moi, but I couldn't understand the use of spaces for "An epic tail," as well as the third last line.

A nice read. Thank Devons for sending me this.

Regards
Ishan

[Dutch Jr.]

Great job again! You use symbolic images really well in your poems. A nic, poetic approch to things like life, time, and space. Maybe one on love? lol. Great write, though, and so true.

[Ruth]

This is almost sterile, I LOVE it!
Life is a spiral at times, ebbing and flowing out of control! You have captured that well here!
xx

[Liza]

interesting write of what life can be or what it is; of what we can make it or just accept...the price or the freedoms of life.

[Sasha]

"Life is long and hard and seemingly there is no end."
Ugh, how I wish this were true of most things.

This is really good, though. My favorite lines were, "No one the same... reclaimed." It has an excellent rhyme and is very true in a somber way. I dig it. :P

[Jack]

Wow, I am not just saying this, but I LOVED this poem. This is an issue that is so difficult to deal with for all us humans. Life is long and hard and seemingly there is no end. But then at the same time life is wonderful and an exciting journey that must come to an end. Our mortality is so awesome yet so disturbing and you summed it up very well!

Two parts there I thought were brilliant in being able to sum up this troublesome duality to life were.....


Here then gone,
Like the gentle Swan,
And dark, as satins’ spawn.

I really gets at the problem with our wonderful blessing of life and the terrifying reality that it will eventually end......


When started
It cannot be stopped.
When stopped,
It cannot be restarted.


This line is just plain awesome. Too sum this concept up with such a short/powerful/to the point poem was really a joy to read! keep it up my friend!

[the_stoic]

when started it can't be stopped and vice versa .. loved this part !!

just a doubt shouldn't it be 'an epic tale' rather than 'tail' ?

[Doreen]

A very interesting piece. Deep and meaningful. The only thing that stood out for me what the line, "When started, it cannot be stopped." because a life started could very well stop at any given time. Otherwise, it read smoothly and I liked it.