Darkness

The first chapter of the book Gaurdians. Hope you like it! I know it doesn't tell you what exactly is going on, but it will get filled in as more chapters get put on. Enjoy!

 

My feet ached from running, running for my life. As I sprinted down the dimly lit hallway I heard the mumbling of footsteps coming up from behind me and quickly dove off to my right and wedged myself through a small opening which led to a dark, cobweb filled make shift shelter which was created from one of the collapsed rooms. I could still see out into the hallway from my hiding place, but I hoped that the lack of any light around me would make me invisible. As I sat in the darkness catching my breath, I removed the clip from my eagle and pulled out the remaining shells.

“S**t,” I whispered to myself quietly as I stared down at the trio of bullets resting in my hand. I though back to my fight with the two hoded men, and still couldn’t figure out how I had missed so many times, not to mention how they had caught up with me so fast. As I begin to reach back into my pouch to search for any other stray shells, I knew that I was no longer alone. The sounds of approaching footsteps were no longer echoes carrying on through the tunnels. What I was now hearing was the genuine crunch of gravel below their feet.   Despite the fact that my lungs were still screaming for oxygen, as soon as I saw their shadowy figures appear under the hanging lights I would not allow myself to take a single breath. The men casually walked down the hall as if out for a midnight stroll. I watched as the taller of the two stopped in front of me and turned towards the rubble.

“He can’t see me? Can he? No it’s too dark there’s no way.” My mind panicked as I watched the man reach slowly down into his coat pocket and pull something out. “Oh my God! He must be able to see me! S**t! A gun!” My mind was going wild. I was sure that even if he couldn’t see me before, he would now be able to pin point my exact location by the pounding sound that my heart was making against my chest.   The palms of my hands grew sweaty as I gripped my gun tightly.   I watched panic stricken as the man lifted his hands slowly up towards his face as I waited for the blast. A small click sounded as I allowed myself one final, silent stale breath. Then…wait…what? A small flame appeared in front of the man. My brain could not seem to comprehend the chain of events that my eyes had strained to see, but luckily enough it did still understand another one of my senses. The smell was unforgettable, cherry cigars. My Uncle smoked at least one during every Christmas since I could remember, and every Christmas I choked on the unforgettable sweet smell. 

The cigar illuminated the man’s face. Though he bore many wrinkles, his face still showed through as a handsome man who had just entered his 40’s. 

“Quit messing around,” the shorter one snapped, “We don’t have time take a God damn smoke break!” his voice low and growly, probably another chain smoker. “Cigars especially! What the hell are you celebrating about? I don’t see no God damn kid!” He then finished his rant by kicking a piece of rubble down the hall.

Releasing a puff of smoke from his mouth, he answered calmly, “Don’t worry it’s just a kid, someone will find her. Besides I don’t think getting all worked up and acting like a kid will help us out any. Your just all nervous because the guys are going tease you up a little about getting nicked by a girl, arnt ya?” He allowed his head to fall forward slightly into a chuckle, before he brought the cigar back up to his mouth.

“F**k off.” He grumbled as begin to walk a few feet down the hall to a door his left. As he pulled the door open his partner took one last puff of smoke and then walked up to the wall closest to me. I tensed up again as he peered queerly into my shadows as he used the wall as an ashtray.   Before he turned I swear our eyes meet, but my brain must have still been working in overdrive, because he simply turned down the hall and followed his partner into the shadows of the corridor. 

Once their footsteps became inaudible I finally allowed myself to begin a normal breathing cycle again. I also dropped the death grip on my gun, but to my horror I looked down to see that in my panic of their arrival I had forgot to insert the clip (not to mention my three remaining bullets) into my gun. I was the epiphany of the old saying, ‘I shot myself in the foot’…idiot.

But these last few minutes of terror had actually brought me information:

                1: Good News: One of my shots actually hit them! *Hooray for me*

2.Bad news: It is now confirmed that all of these crazy cloaked people are after me!      *Why me!!!!!!!!!*

                I took a minute to collect myself again and reload my gun (unfortunately reloading only totaled 7 shots) before trying to exit my little sanctuary, which actually proved to be way harder than it was to get in. This may be in part to the fact that I now just consciously noticed all of the disgusting spiders that were everywhere around me. After finally maneuvering out of the mess, I started down the hall again. The tunnel showed off many of its previous battle wounds, which then made me realize that since I had soundly hid in one this areas, that meant that anyone else could too. I swallowed the little saliva I had left in my throat…and decided to run *hey, a moving targets way harder to hit then a walking one…right!*.

                Bang! Bang!....Bang! The sounds of the guns relieved me a little.

                “If people are shooting, and their not shooting at me that must mean part of the group is up ahead!” I thought to myself as I increased my speed. A brighter light started to appear, and soon I realized that the tunnel had finally reached its end.

                Bang!  I slowed down unsure of who was firing and where it was coming from. I moved up against the wall and walked to the end of the tunnel where a small piece of wall separated me from the bright world outside. Slowly I peaked around the corner, Eagle in my right hand with one finger on the safety and another on the trigger. Before my eyes could adjust to the new luminosity… bang!

                Someone else’s target must have been hiding on the other side of my small wall. For a body came crashing down in front me. Blood from the victim flew every, even covering my face. This shooter was no friend of mine, I knew the low barreling sound of this shot had come from a shotgun and everyone that I had came with was only carrying some form of a hand gun. Even though I was again pulled back fully behind my wall I could still see part of the body. For the first time all day, I wished the darkness would just engulf everything… I didn’t want to see anymore. 

Bang! Bang!

The two shots peppered the wall breaking pieces of the brick of next to me, and causing me to simultaneously flinch back in terror and drop my gun. I covered my face with my hands and again I could feel my heart trying to escape from my chest. Again I left myself unarmed, but instead of looking for the gun, I sat frozen in my corner, praying to God that it all be over and that he would allow me to somehow escape from this Hell. 

Suddenly I noticed it…nothing…silence. What happened…had it happened? My mind was again lost in translation. I was going to have to open my eyes, I couldn’t sit here like this forever, I would have to see for myself. Slowly I brought my hands down my face. They were drenched, but I couldn’t tell if it was with blood or sweat. I paused…took a breath and opened my eyes.   As I looked down into the eternal darkness of the double barrel, I couldn’t even scream.

Bang!

Author's Note

Please feel free to tell me anything you want!! I know there will prob be some grammar probs, it's ok if you tell me, and it's ok if you don't. i just want some feed back and i hope you enjoyed it!!

Reviews

[V. Lucien Maier]

good flow, you pull the reader through very well. You open many questions and that is good for a opening chapter.
The vocabulary is what I wanted to point out, you use a great variation of words and that is done perfectly.
I can't talk much about arch since you are not giving out much info, but it works well as an action scene.
Now think in audio you don't have to use the bang bang but you could here the report of the guns?
it would add impact, play around with it and see what I mean.

[JuliePetunia]

Ladidah! I love it! I agree, a little too much "bang!", but other than that, it's great!
I'm sitting here going "What's next?! What's next!" Your writing keeps me on edge, and the description is amazing!
I'm going to go read more! :D

[Donovan "Grey Wolf" Go..]

wow that was awsome. It was so descriptive it was almost like watching a movie unfold in front of me. It was awsome.Keep up the good work.I cant believe how awsome this is.

Smile the wolves are coming!!

[Rhayne Riel]

Keep writing dude. I think you'll be great someday! ^_^

[~*~Peace Keeper~*~]

Wow this was amazing!
Great Job

[SilentDreamer]

You had me interested with the first line "My feet ached from running, running for my life." Good job so far. :) Keep writing!

[H]

The onomatopoeia here is out of control.