14. Return

After defeating Jesus, Ace returns to her father. Sappy drama ensues.

It took two days, but the three were able to return home.  Ace agreed to stay with Alex and Otto, under the condition that someone else watched over Ohio.  As it turned out, Hades was willing to send an incubus to relax and watch over her hometown to keep crime down.  The incubus practically begged to go, since he was head over heels in love with the various human women.  No one questioned his presence in the city, but he had earned a name for himself as a champion and amazing lover of the people. 

Ace visited her father before moving away.  At first he was devastated that she was leaving, but as Ace told him about her adventures so far he slowly grew onto the idea.  She told him about her fight against the demon summoned by the teenagers, how the army attacked her and will most likely do it again, how she found another deitan just like her (and explaining what a deitan was) who was even more powerful.  She made light of her visit to Hell, which indeed make her father freak, but had extreme trouble explaining her fight with Jesus.  She tried to explain the circumstances, but even she wasn’t too sure they were justified.  After hearing it all her father stayed silent for a moment.

“Sounds like one hell of a story.”  He said.  Ace stared at him, mouth agape.

“That’s it?  I go on this amazing journey and kill your lord and savior, and that’s all you have to say?”

“What do you want me to say?”

“I don’t know…Dad, do you think I did the right thing with Jesus?  I mean, right after a huge crowd yelled at me.  The cardinals tried to defend me, but it took Hades pretending he was from Interpol to break them up.  And I think they’re right.”  Ace started to trail off.  Her father grabbed her and pulled her in for a hug.

“Ace, no matter what you do, I’ll always be proud.  You know that.”

“Do you mean that?” She said, holding back tears.  Her father pulled her back and started at her with puzzlement.

“Y…yes d****t!  You know how much I love you!”

“But whenever I did a good deed, you’d call me up, yell at me, complain about my life.”

“Oh my god, you’re twenty four, you should be getting this by now!  Ace, I’m your father.  I’m not complaining you’re being a hero, I’m afraid something will happen to you.  You went to Hell for f**k’s sake!  I get worried when you go to that Denny’s down the road- but in my defense, the guy who owns it?  Creeeeeeeepy…”

Ace laughed before coming in for another hug.

“You even killed Jesus, and I still love you.  Whatever you do, I know you have a reason.  A good one.  I just worry that you might get in over your head.” Her father continued.  “I don’t want to lose you.”

“Well, with Alex by my side I’ll be fine.  She can kick my a*s any day.  With her around, those poorly-armed robbers who were begging for their lives won’t hurt me.” Ace said jokingly.

“Just don’t break their jaws, alright?  That’s a little much.”

“They called me string bean, Dad.  That’s just…” Ace trailed off.  All her emotions were drowned out by only her love for her father at that moment, and all she cared about was seeing him one last time before heading to Maine.

Ace packed her things at her dorm and some extra belongings at her house.  She waved goodbye, promising to call her father every week, and traveled to Maine by plane.  She was a little on edge during the flight, and began to squeak with fear when the plan hit turbulence.  The man next to her asked if it was her first time on a plane.  Ace said no, and that her last plane crashed in Hell.  The man laughed, writing it off as a crazy imagination.

Once she was settled, she unpacked in the guest room at Alex’s, home transferred to college, and restarted her life.  People in the town would give her mean looks often, either because she attacked Alex or because she killed Jesus.  Both issues made her feel guilty, but she did her best to stride through it.

A week had passed and people had forgiven her for attacking Alex, and only gave her semi-mean looks for Jesus.  The news of Jesus’ departure- as Hades ensured the word “death” or “murder” was never used- spread across the world, telling of a young girl from the United States who had God within her.  The people of the city knew the truth, but after Ace turned out to be less psychotic than her initial appearance made her out to be people eased up.  Various talk shows began talking about the notion that Ace wasn’t the only one like this, that there were in fact hundreds of other humans with gods in them.  Most people outside Alex’s town laughed it off as nonsense and paranoia, and lived with the story that Jesus left after Ace visited.  However, the story would be forgotten entirely when a new event arose.  One that no one could have foreseen, and for the most part no one would ever want to happen again.

Alex and Otto were watching television one Friday afternoon when Ace came in groaning.

“This school is amazing.” She stated before passing out at the door.

“Getting used to the workload?” Otto said without looking back.

“I hate the homework, but the teachers?  Dude. The teachers here are friggen awesome.  So much more laxed than those snooty snoot…snootecates over in Ohio.  Oh my god, no wonder you told me to not drop out."

“That’s not why I told you not to quit, honey.  But, whatever blows your hair back….” Alex said, half-interested.  Suddenly a news flash appeared reporting giant flying space ships hovering over major cities, screaming various languages over broadcast demanding they see all the humans with gods in them.  The reports flashed images of ships abducting people from around the world.  Otto and Alex looked at each other with disbelief.

“Am I seeing this right?  Are…are those?” Otto started.

“Aliens!” Alex finished, dramatically.  Ace jumped to her feet and watched the news broadcast along with the two before jumping in the air.

“Yes!  Oh my god, yes!  We get to save the world from aliens!  F*****g aliens!  This is going to be so cool!”  She screamed in joy.

Author's Note

Hah, you thought the title was a reference to Ace going back to Ohio when in reality it was about the aliens coming back to Earth. You thought things were nuts before, what with a flat-chested nutjob using a nickname based on a playing card killing Jesus Christ while using the power of God and walking out of hell relatively unscathed with an incredibly fat Native American and her hot-headed boyfriend? Damn, man, we've only begun THIS story...