Becoming

Becoming

A Poem by Sid
"

Facing the demon that is us...

"

Crimson eyes, crimson horns

Cold light of sadness, emanating

From his very bones

He looks to me, in

Melancholy

All the anguish, seeping

It clutches at my throat.

 

He points to my chest

My heart, he holds

In a steely grip, deathly

Threatens me to shatter, into

Oblivion

All that I stand for

All that I long for.

 

He strengthens his grip

I scream out in agony

As all I hold dear

Turns into utter

Decay

I long for peace

I long for serenity.

 

“Look in the mirror

And you will see

The darkness of your

World, the ever spreading

Disease

Look inside your heart

Look inside your soul.”

 

I gaze at the mirror, confounded

My heart in my palm, throbbing

Wild in agony, in rage

At what I’ve become, the

Demon

With the crimson eyes

And the crimson horns.

© 2012 Sid


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Author's Note

Sid
not my best effort, I know but just felt like writing something about the demon we have inside us..tell me what you think!

My Review

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DrD
I agree . . . . not your best effort and I didn't like the use of "smithereens." Think of it this way, Sid . . . . in a moment of splendor you write the immortal verse that is published and is on library shelves across the world. In a hundred years, will the reader recognize "smithereens?" Let's be honest, what do we strive for? That touch of literary immortality that we have to guard with good word selections.

Posted 6 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Sid

6 Years Ago

Thank you for the review Dr., I'll see if I can find a word better suited in the place of smithereen.. read more



Reviews

You are a natural, very talented. Even if this wasn't your best effort, the way your writing process works in your brain is that of a true writer/poet. I enjoy your work!

Posted 6 Years Ago


Sid

6 Years Ago

Thank you!
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Mia
We are those demons within us that scare us. No point in running, we can hide from them. it is a very scary thing and this piece has that feel...there was something unnerving about it. I thought it was a great write and while I'll admit this isn't my favourite of yours...I still think you did great and you shouldn't sell yourself short :)

Posted 6 Years Ago


Mia

6 Years Ago

It isn't that bad...at ALL, so I'm glad you see that! My pleasure Sid :)
Sid

6 Years Ago

Thank you again Mia :)
Mia

6 Years Ago

:)
This is a true masterpiece!!
I simply love it, Where it had taken me!
Subbed', Rated', Shelved!!
personal favourite by far so far.

-JiDonnelly'

Posted 6 Years Ago


Sid

6 Years Ago

Thank you, glad you like it!!
It aint as bad as you think, I feel it compares well with your other works

Posted 6 Years Ago


Sid

6 Years Ago

Thank you Doc, it's good to know that!!
love this write, it has all the elements of a good duality horror story in real time. i think oblivion or even nothingness would fare much better than the "smithereen" thing but it is your write, not mine. overall i feel this is an excellent poem. i was enthralled and entertained.

Posted 6 Years Ago


Sid

6 Years Ago

I've been thinking of a substitute for smithereens and I thought of oblivion but wasn't sure, I'll u.. read more
wow, it sent a chill up my spine, thrilling,dark and beautiful,

I gaze at the mirror, confounded
My heart in my palm, throbbing
Wild in agony, in rage
At what I’ve become, the
Demon

these lines truly stood out for me
keep going. i'm looking forward to reading more :)


Posted 6 Years Ago


Sid

6 Years Ago

Thank you, glad you like it!! :)
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PP
One thing I have noticed and it is a reality that I always rely on, man can invent many new things of classic innovation. We can admire and see God and Man's horrid/ beautiful creations with our own eyes, but the only thing one's bare eyes can never caputre, is the sight of one's own face! May be that is the reason why we find it hard sometimes to realise what a Devil we have become, unless a quality mirror reflects to say so! Great concept...P

Posted 6 Years Ago


Sid

6 Years Ago

Thank you, glad you like it!
A very good poem. I like when the tables are turn. I like the flow of the story and the very good ending. Thank you for the excellent poem.
Coyote

Posted 6 Years Ago


Sid

6 Years Ago

Thank you again Coyote, your time is much appreciated!!
What a brilliant darkness you paint in the heart and mind... And yes, there are times when I don't want to look in the mirror for fear of what I might see behind my eyes... Stunning poetry!

Posted 6 Years Ago


Sid

6 Years Ago

Thank you Craig, glad you like it!!
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DrD
I agree . . . . not your best effort and I didn't like the use of "smithereens." Think of it this way, Sid . . . . in a moment of splendor you write the immortal verse that is published and is on library shelves across the world. In a hundred years, will the reader recognize "smithereens?" Let's be honest, what do we strive for? That touch of literary immortality that we have to guard with good word selections.

Posted 6 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Sid

6 Years Ago

Thank you for the review Dr., I'll see if I can find a word better suited in the place of smithereen.. read more

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20 Reviews
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Added on November 5, 2012
Last Updated on November 14, 2012

Author

Sid
Sid

Mumbai, Maharashtra, India



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