hope

hope

A Poem by marie

every second that goes by

here in the silent tears i cry

i long to hear your voice

saying it will be alright

i know the choices i must make

i know that they are no mistake

but i cry even so

surrounded by your scent

with your image in my head

i can make myself believe

you are here sitting with me

your hand in mine

there is peace sublime

but when i open my eyes

this lie i have told myself 

become known

and again i cry….

have i made a mistake

will she make you go away again

will i have to remain in silence

without you 

my love, my friend

here i stand

begging God again

someone tell me if i have hope

that i will have you today

whispering you love me

that she won't take you away

i still miss you

even though i have you

i still know your mine

even though i am lost in peace sublime

so i imagine

your arms around me

you eyes gazing into mine

and you are there

you'll never go

you are here

and i have hope

this will be

my always and forever

and i will be

truly safe from any never

© 2013 marie


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Reviews

This is a good one. I like the flow and the emotional content.

Posted 11 Years Ago


marie

11 Years Ago

thank you:)
I absolutely love this! :)

Posted 11 Years Ago


marie

11 Years Ago

Yay!!:) so glad you do!!:)
Love the raw emotion used here, well done :)

Posted 11 Years Ago


marie

11 Years Ago

thank you:)
Mr Dunne Poetry

11 Years Ago

You're welcome :)
marie

11 Years Ago

:)
You still need to capitalize some things. Also, just out of curiosity, are you writing just for the heck of it or are you writing about your boyfriend? If you don't mind me asking.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Ethale Captor

11 Years Ago

Interesting.
marie

11 Years Ago

now your just posting words so i wont get mad at you for not talking..
Ethale Captor

11 Years Ago

Perhaps. The main reason I am posting is when I occasionally come read what many comments have been .. read more
utterly beautiful!

Posted 11 Years Ago


marie

11 Years Ago

thank you:)!!
Very raw and emotional at the same time...well done showing your feelings on this one

Posted 11 Years Ago


marie

11 Years Ago

thank you:) i am so glad you liked it:) this one is kind of close:)
i loved this because it was so full of raw emotion and it flowed really, really well. Excellent job with this! Kind of sounds like a similar situation I'm in... sigh...

Posted 11 Years Ago


marie

11 Years Ago

thank you for the review:) i'm glad you liked it, feel free to talk about your situation, maybe it c.. read more
It is so beautiful! I love the message and the flow! Great job :)

Posted 11 Years Ago


marie

11 Years Ago

thank you:) soo glad you liked it:)
This was a beautiful poem, but I think it would benefit even more with some capitalization of your i's and some breakdown of your lines. i think it would flow better and bring out the best in this poem. That is just a suggestion so please don't change anything unless you want to! Anyway, I loved the message behind the piece... it was wonderful. Thanks for sharing this one Marie.

Posted 11 Years Ago


marie

11 Years Ago

thank you for the review, i think i will take your advice, any lines in particular you suggest?:)
CreativeStroke

11 Years Ago

I would go through and just read it and see how the flow falls in your opinion and that's where I wo.. read more
marie

11 Years Ago

that makes tons of sense thanks for the help:) i'll send you a request the second i put it up:)
An amazing write of strong emotion packed into a short write. Nice job.

Posted 11 Years Ago


marie

11 Years Ago

thank you:) i'm glad you liked it:)
Ethale Captor

11 Years Ago

No problem.
marie

11 Years Ago

:)

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Added on January 31, 2013
Last Updated on January 31, 2013

Author

marie
marie

Laurel, MS



About
I have been away from this site for a while, hoping to get back into the swing of things. I recently turned 18 and have rediscovered my muse. If you wish to befriend me, please constructively review m.. more..

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