Dada

Dada

A Poem by Leo
"

about a special girl..her name is Senada and she likes to be called Dada even though I prefer her real name haha

"

 

Is it not that warm smile that makes the sun jealous

Is it not that deep soul that oceans envy

Is it not that majestic beauty that Meryl Streep wishes

For all I know she is as hot as the most sizzling volcanic lava

Her body scent does not even measure to the best human made Prada

I roamed the world and had them all but haven’t yet met someone like Senada

Her warm smile might as well heal the sun’s wounds but let that sun learn she likes to be called Dada!

© 2016 Leo


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Featured Review

Apart from the fact that Line 4 sounds like you're referring to Meryl Streep (which by the way, Line 3 should read "....for which Meryl Streep wishes), this is actually a spectacular ode to this angel. That last line really knocked it over the park. In a way, it undermines the first line, in another way it doesn't, but it definitely packed the hardest punch. Well done!

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Leo

6 Years Ago

glad you like it and thanks for the constructive criticism..i'll take a look at it
emipoemi

6 Years Ago

my pleasure.



Reviews

Senada or Dada... what it's about is the sweet words You show her :) well my friend You can privately call her (Senada) that would be specialty :)

Yes, I understand from Your words, both the romantic pure and the strong passionate love You do need and want both, sometimes it's not the big and long lines we need, but the few words coming from our hearts with sincere feelings, and I bet that Your (Senada) had a REAL big smile on her face :D

Posted 6 Years Ago


Leo

6 Years Ago

she did ;)..thanks for your time and glad you liked it :)
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.
i love the use of nature and vivid picture good job

Posted 6 Years Ago


Leo

6 Years Ago

Thanks for your feedback
Apart from the fact that Line 4 sounds like you're referring to Meryl Streep (which by the way, Line 3 should read "....for which Meryl Streep wishes), this is actually a spectacular ode to this angel. That last line really knocked it over the park. In a way, it undermines the first line, in another way it doesn't, but it definitely packed the hardest punch. Well done!

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Leo

6 Years Ago

glad you like it and thanks for the constructive criticism..i'll take a look at it
emipoemi

6 Years Ago

my pleasure.
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...
I am sure if you send this poem to Merryl . She will be very happy.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Leo

7 Years Ago

haha I love that woman :)
For all I know she is as hot as the most sizzling volcanic lava
Her body scent does not even measure to the best human made Prada
These two lines could make a soul ache in love and get lost in complete romance

Posted 7 Years Ago


Leo

7 Years Ago

Thanks borice..glad you liked it
NICE! Bet she liked this poem! "sizzling volcanic lava" is a pretty hot description!! :)

Posted 7 Years Ago


Leo

7 Years Ago

Just saw this..thanks Adronicus
Interesting poem...
I would, however, suggest a few revisions:
change "that" in the first 3 lines to "the"
5th line, omit the word "body" (scent does just fine without a modifier)
and the last line, "heel" is the back part of the foot. The word, "heal" is what you're looking for here. Also, I would recommend re-writing the last line to something stronger...
Perhaps something like...?
Her smile can warm the icy touch of the deepest despair,
And shine with a bright glory that any sun would envy.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Leo

7 Years Ago

Thank you for your thoughtful and constructive criticism..I'll definitely look into it
Very nice writing, keep it up!

Posted 8 Years Ago


Leo

7 Years Ago

Thank you Georgina
She sounds like a very special lady...you paint a vivid picture with your words! ~Sharon

Posted 8 Years Ago


Leo

8 Years Ago

Thanks for stopping by..best
a sweet tribute to a beautiful lady !

Posted 8 Years Ago


Leo

8 Years Ago

Thanks word man!

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12 Reviews
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Added on October 19, 2015
Last Updated on September 7, 2016
Tags: romance

Author

Leo
Leo

About
(Soul writer/ fellow/ DOB Aug 1982) I had the privilege to visit over 55 countries throughout my life and always eager to reflect or read another poet's work and leave a constructive feedback. .. more..

Writing
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