Just One More Night

Living until death.

Just one more night, I’m not ready to leave.

I cannot go while you stay here and grieve.

Tears cover your face, while the candles burn.

Just relax, there is no need for concern.

Off to the nether, on this my last eve.

 

Life is a thing so simple to perceive.

We live till we die, not hard to believe.

But towards the end we desire to learn

Just one more night.

 

Nothing else for my body to achieve,

Death comes, needing simply to only thieve

My life from my bones as I try to yearn

For my past love at every single turn.

Go and seek out love to find and retrieve

Just one more night.

Author's Note

A poem about a death told from the point of view of the dying. This is written in the French rondeau form. A very old rhyme scheme characterized by aabba–aabR–aabbaR. Again, please point out any spelling or grammar errors please!

Reviews

[Heather]

I think you did a really wonderful job conveying the emotion of someone dying. It gave me chills. beautiful work.

[Trevor Jay Bloodworth]

Thank you very much. Glad that you liked it.

[Stella Armour]

good use of the form Trevor, subject as well.i started as a poet writing in different forms, not so much now though. i think all poets should learn the discipline of writing to form , it is a very good grounding exercise to learn rhythm and rhyme.

[Trevor Jay Bloodworth]

Writing to form, for me, is very enjoyable. It's a reminder of where poetry came from.

[Stella Armour]

you are right....

[Meera Krishna]

all yours poems convince me that some where in the near future.....i will have to line up outside a book shop to buy your books. Lovely!!!!

[Trevor Jay Bloodworth]

I hope so Meera. Thanks for reading.

[PANTHER811]

Excellent write on the subject we all will face and so few can write of. I found your pen set down a victory for your soul and a good path for us to follow. Tom

[Trevor Jay Bloodworth]

Thank you. I worked really hard on this to convey exactly what I was feeling.

[Rita L. Sev]

Nicely done form, good rhyme. I love the concept here - I don't think of it as dark, but completely honest. Life is never quite long enough, and yet when Death comes, it is its time... A great poetic reminder to Live every day we get... and every night.

[Trevor Jay Bloodworth]

Thank you Rita for the kind review. I thought long and hard about what form to use in this peom and the rondeau, I believe, was perfect. Thanks for reading.

[Michael Stevens]

I'm not an expert; I can only tell you what I think, and I think this is terrific!

[Trevor Jay Bloodworth]

Haha. Well thank you very much, my friend.

[NA]

I think it's what everyone wants at the point of death...you did a great job expressing this...enjoyed :) x

[Trevor Jay Bloodworth]

I'm glad that I was able to get that across with this. Thanks for reading once again.

[Sam]

Love the style you used did a great job at that. It was a little dark but I see it as a tired life that lived and really lived and nothing left to do or see that hasn't been done.
I love the words you leave us with:
Go and seek out love to find and retrieve
Just one more night.

A wonderful message and one we all can relate.
Wonderful read and amazing write. Thank you for caring to let me read and for the share. :)

[Trevor Jay Bloodworth]

Thanks for the reivew, Sam. I'm glad that you liked it. And yes, you pretty much hit the nail on the head with the meaning of it.

[Sam]

I am glad I could really see the eyes in this one. It was so wonderfully wrote that you could sit there with the dying person just for comfort and not say a word but it is okay.

[Sharon L.H. Kelly]

Dark and haunting. "Just one more night" - a plea of many, I'm sure, to remain near a loved one for as long as possible. Good flow. Well penned.

[Trevor Jay Bloodworth]

Thank you very much, glad that you liked it.

[Ryomaru]

i like this poem, it may be dark but its good

[Trevor Jay Bloodworth]

Thank you. I was going for dark, since it was about death. Mission accomplished.