A darkened Soul

hate this song

A DARKENED SOUL
"we passed upon the stairs, we spoke in was and when,

 I spoke into his eyes I thought you died alone, a long, long time ago...."

As the sound started to heat up and each lyric slipped into my nerve, a memory of an old friend figured slowly through my mind. His weak determination and crooked outlook of the world taught me the courage of acceptance. From every bit of conversations that we had, I'd already witnessed his tragic history. To nature, he's a dry leaf who never knew the reason of falling; if the wind blow him away or the tree that let him go or the leaf itself that never hold tight. I usually encountered rotten words between life and himself, leaving me to end up like crying. The fact that a friend view the world exactly opposite the way I do is a serious ironic conflict, yet urged me to let him change his ways; to twist his rebelled thoughts to hope or just simply unhook his passivity to perseverance. He often quoted himself as the weak monstrous demon who exist for other's destruction. 
Sickening. 
Life is indeed vulgar. Every detail found and created by human, consciously or unconsciously, dominates the reason of mind, thus, generally constructs malice, the very first emotion felt by Eve; malice that constitutes all other sins, accords pretentious acts and make belief. I am not God speaking words of wisdom on what's right or wrong, coz I guess all of us are already aware of that and we just need to admit that sometimes not all we believe to be true is good or what we perceive as wrong is actually evil. It's the ethics of life, isn't it? 
Through his eyes, I saw a deep longness, a dark image of lost self. I know the pain, coz I felt it from his. 
His tragedies struck me breathless, but what can I do? He knew himself better than I did. 
"I laughed and shook his hand, and made my way back home 
I gazed, a gaze less stare, we walked a million hills, 

I must have died alone, a long, long time ago...."

Now this song slowly comes to an end, that shadowy image of his soul cast my eyes to widely open. Yeah, and there you are lying on your own world, your true peace, your sepulcher deep within my heart. 


-musicfunk-

Author's Note

"inspired by Nirvana's song 'the man who sold the world'
=]

Reviews

[Scytheriax]

I like this piece, but I feel like it's lacking a bit in character development.
You don't really learn too much about the characters themselves in this piece.
Why does the character feel this way? Where's the catalyst?
The formatting can be cleaned up a bit, too.
But I like the emotion of the piece. The imagery is good, as well.

[CHRIS ANDES]

yes, that was a weakness
thanks I'll try
=]

[Scytheriax]

No problem, just trying to help make it better!
It has a lot of potential...it just needs to be expanded a bit.

[CHRIS ANDES]

;p

[Fréyjä Helv..]

"if the wind (blows) him away'
"rotten words between life and (him)"
"through his eyes, I saw a deep (longing)"

An honest story with a nice flow to it... "In paths we saunter, there lies traps. Travelers fall into them... Some get out, others don't... It takes a friend with courage to pull you out. But it only takes self strength to learn the lesson..." I feel the same way as your friend... And I couldn't help but feel connected... :(

[CHRIS ANDES]

oh,thanks for reminding me I'm not alone
=]

[Fréyjä Helvití]

Your welcome.. :)

[MOON]

Lovely mysterious write...life is indeed vulgar missing a d.

[CHRIS ANDES]

yeah
i love mystery
thanks moon
=]

[Mason Lipman]

I like this. It's very mysterious. That's what I get from it anyways

[CHRIS ANDES]

thanks mason
=]

[CHRIS ANDES]

any suggestions for improvement?