Painful silence

you, me, two different journeys but one home...

i wish you could hold on tight to me but you

left my hand like you left our childhood too

i know we are not children anymore

but it takes nothing to behave like two

your clothes are wrapped around my pillow

my tears are all over the place

flashbacks from last year of what we did today

now i'm shouting and screaming as if some heartbreak

i guess i'll walk alone but every other time it gets colder

no heavy hand to push off my shoulders

plans have shattered but maybe for good

for what u've gotta be there alone, like a shadow in the woods

cant say no more, the weather may have a doubt

trees falling down, flood pulling my strengths away out of town

there's a soft smell of your touch inside my bruises

and a rhythm follows me calling your whispers and muses 

that one step was a blow on our self built dominos

they fell on one by one in front of my eyes

but my hands were tied while i was dancing on your farewell

with another hand, i don't even remember so well

all of this comes through a path of fury

but on the other side, i'm elated for you to leave for a dream

i wake up everyday and be proud of you to do so

and i wish for the good gates to always stay open in front of you

in the closing, the cake cutting felt like cutting our strings

and you hid your falling drops behind a winning smile

but i could see through, heavy heart, oh how hard you tried

but my promise would stand tall, those strings wont ever fall

now i see your face on my lock screen, 

there you remain quiet like you've never been

no endless knocks on my bathroom door

no songs in cracking voices making my ears feel sore

this painful silence is hurting me

this painful silence is hurting me

oh, this painful silence is hurting me 

nothing but this painful silence is all i feel

i wonder why i had to be like this, 

you're in the world same as mine, but too far from my eyes

unbelievable of how strong is our love and hate

the unbreakable heaven when i see your face

i could tell you anytime, anytime, but can i?

you know how much it takes for a sister to say 

some simple words i might even cry to you

but no words in the world could describe, oh how much i miss you...

Author's Note

sorry not sorry for being a little too emotional when it comes to my sis...

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

It is terrible when people separate and forget what they were.
"i could tell you anytime, anytime, but can i?
you know how much it takes for a sister to say
some simple words i might even cry to you
but no words in the world could describe, oh how much i miss you.."
I understand the above lines. I need to re-connect with some people dear Grace. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry and your thoughts.
Coyote

[grace]

You're right dear Coyote. Thank you so much for reading my poem! :)

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome dear Grace.

[Patricia Wedel]

I never had a Sister.. so I have even deeper Silence… softly, Pat

[Poetic Beauty]

It is difficult when siblings take different journeys which lead to paths in other directions. The distance and the silence can be terribly hard on the heart.

[Vol]

Grace,
Wow... It is as though you followed me around when I was mourning Patricia, including clothes on the pillow.
I live in a tiny ghost town, so it is quiet and there are no interruptions, even the silence while in the kitchen while cooking for one is deafening.

[grace]

I know this silence is really haunting at times. And I am sorry about Patricia, she must be lovely. Thank you so much for reading my poem, and I am glad you could resonate with it :)

[Writergurl]

Such a heart tugging, emotional read.
Nicely expressed

[grace]

Thank you so much for reading my poem! I'm grateful for your appreciation :)

[Stu. T.H.]

I would be lying if I had said something so posh and formal to compliment your writing because the work has exceeded my expectations. A bit too personal but very relatable in how you grope us into your worldview, the sensation feels so real. I am currently stationed at my study area right now and I would blame you for making my eyes a bit too red and teary.

In earnest, I would compare your work to a Winter wind -- Sometimes it takes over us on a pleasant day, to remind us of the past we had lost and the memories we hold so dear and so close to us. Else, I would compare it to an Eastern afternoon nap, one that keeps getting my eyes teary remembering my past and old tales from a distant memory. Otherwise, it would be a punch in the guts of a stone statue as I, making me bleed red to remind me of my common emotions -- Something eternal has something human inside.

Thank you for sharing your work, author grace. But it's your fault I am now eye-watering like a kid near the library. It was a great and emotional read, but I do not think I can indulge in such sentiments so intimate much further unless I want to cry myself to sleep this Friday night.

[grace]

Wow. This. Again. Is one of the most beautiful words anyone has said to me! Your review is so heartfelt and beautifully written. Thank you so much for your incredibly kind words! I'm thrilled that my poem resonated with you on such a personal level. Your description of comparing my work to a Winter wind and an Eastern afternoon nap is so poetic and mind-blowing, I am just so deeply touched. I'm sorry if it made you teary-eyed, but I'm truly grateful to you for the appreciation. Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts again!

[FGFRANKLIN]

Siblings are very often the most difficult people to understand considering we have the same family, the same blood, the same upbringing but can be vast worlds apart in our ideologies and emotions. I've been treated more unfairly by my brothers and sisters (I had seven) than I ever have by complete strangers. I was the primary caregiver to our mother in the last years of her life. I did everything for her, cooked, cleaned, did laundry, yardwork, home repairs including plumbing and carpentry and a million other tasks. I dedicated my entire life to her so she would never have to be confined to a nursing home. It was the hardest job I've ever done. I spent all my retirement savings to pay for my own needs so as not to be a burden on her limited finances. For all this, I got treated like dirt by my family. So now, most of them are good as dead to me. When mother died I wound up homeless and without any place to go. My siblings came, claimed the house, property and threw me out into the street. But I rebuilt my life from scratch and then they all wanted to be my "friends" again. They were all so "proud" of me. I can't tell you how disgusted I was and still am with all of them...with the exception of two of my brothers and one of them has since passed away. But I had complete strangers I had just met go out of their way to help me rebuild my life and get back on my feet. I worked sixty hours a week and begged rides to and from work (although I paid for gas) until I could rent my own place and buy a car, etc. Family will treat you worse than strangers. But I promised mother she would never go into a nursing home as long as I was alive and I kept my promise. For me, the silence of my lost brother is painful but the silence of the others is blissful. I don't need them or want them in my life or my children's lives.

[Bhuyanshi Talukdar]

This is a very emotional and heartfelt poem. I can feel the pain and longing in your words. It's clear that you are struggling to come to terms with the end of a relationship, and the memories and feelings associated with it. The imagery you use is very powerful, from the clothes wrapped around the pillow to the falling dominos. Your use of repetition and rhyme adds to the overall impact of the poem. It's clear that you have a lot of love and affection for the person you are writing about, and that you wish them all the best in their future endeavors. Thank you for sharing this 😊.

[grace]

Thank you so much for your encouraging words! It's not exactly about coming in terms with the end of a relationship, but you could take it that way too. I actually wrote it about a relationship in which the other person has moved to the other corner of the world to fulfill their dreams and is actually just one call away but you still can't call them or tell them how much u feel about their absence because you don't want to hold them back in anyway. Thanks again, I'm glad that my words were able to convey the emotions and memories that I was trying to express. Writing this was such a personal and vulnerable experience, but it's always nice to receive positive feedback and validation.

[lessa (kenzie)]

this painful silence is hurting me
this painful silence is hurting me
oh, this painful silence is hurting me
nothing but this painful silence is all i feel

I really like this part, I can feel this so much...
This is one wonderful, emotional write

[grace]

I'm glad that you liked it! Thanks for reading my poem :)

[lessa (kenzie)]

not a problem

[Chris Shaw]

Heartfelt words grace about missing your sibling. I have two sisters. When we lived at home there was some rivalry but we got on.in the main. I shared a room with one of them. We divided it in two right down the middle. When I left home, that's when I realised how much I loved and missed them. All these years later we phone and meet up regularly. You know I just want to say to you, get in touch. If you can't tell her how much she is loved and missed by phone, send her a card, but break the ice.because I felt that pain when iI read your stanzas. You convey your feelings well. You made me think of my sisters and that was nice.

Chris

[grace]

haha.. i swear, we had the same thing. this sibling love-hate type relationship is always beautiful. It feels weird when i think of telling her that she is being missed bcoz we dont use that type of language you see, haha. I'd rather tell her to not come back and she'll instantly know that i'm missing her to the core.. But thank you so so much for reading my poems n understanding it :) it really means A LOTT