The Tumble

The first chapter in, "After School Story."

 

After School Story

 

Chapter 1: The Tumble

 

It was a Thursday afternoon, and it was 4 PM. Four kids just got out of their after school club, two of them were walking down the hallway, standing side by side. The names of those two kids were Daniel Jones and Kelly Wells. The other two kids were named Michael Penner and Melissa Carbunkle. As the two kids in the hall were walking, they bumped into each other no accident, and fell on each other, and accidentally touching the others lips with their own. Melissa saw this and grabbed Michael by his backpack and pulled him to the window to see. Melissa said, “Are you seeing what I am?”

 

Michael answered, “Yes, I do.” Melissa was relieved that she wasn’t seeing things.

 

Then, she noticed the two started to get up, both blushing in the process, but the other didn’t notice. Melissa noticed, and warned Michael, by saying, “We gotta run!” Michael took this as a warning to get out, so, he and Melissa, took off, running outside, and then they just stood out there like they normally would, not talking to each other.

 

Inside, Kelly asked herself if it really happened, and she thought, it did, you and your crush just fell on each other and “kissed.” Then, she just went outside, and walked home as if nothing happened, and well, Daniel did the same.

Author's Note

What do you think?

Reviews

[Tara Ghorm]

Hmm... I think you should use deeper, more meaningful words. You explain things very simply, but it gets a bit boring. The concept is cute, but a bit cliche. Work harder to develop vocabulary and creativity in your writing!

Sorry if I sound like I'm being harsh, but I see potential in you and I'd love to see your writing expand to greater heights.