(15) Dear Mister Death

Dear Mister Death,

My name is Jimmy and I'm only six
I am upset, everything is in a fix
My Daddy is working so far away
He is a soldier, please keep him safe today

Thanking you

Jimmy


Dear Jimmy,

Thank you for writing, but there's nothing I can do
Your Daddy won't be coming home to you
He was killed today, fighting the enemy

I'm so sorry but he will be coming to me

Apologies

Death


Dear Mister Death,

I'm begging you, please let Daddy come home
Spare his life, you can have my own
Mummy is going to have my baby brother
Mummy and Daddy really need each other

Yours

Jimmy


Dear Jimmy,

Okay then, I know how you must feel
I will visit tonight for you to sign the deal
Yes, I will allow your Daddy to be fine
But I'm sorry Jimmy, you are now mine

See you soon

Death

copyright
Chris Smith 2010

Reviews

[M.Babu]

How you've arranged this piece is just so unique and thoughtful my friend!

If only we could all write letters to calm Death and make different deals! Very sad at the end how the Boy perished for his Dad though:) Well structured with that brilliant flow you always possess Chris!
Loved this part the most:

"I'm begging you, please let Daddy come home
Spare his life, you can have my own
Mummy is going to have my baby brother
Mummy and Daddy really need each other"

MAGNIFICENT!!

[Suheil Kapadia]

amazing work! brilliantly executed!

[2Real2BTrue]

I almost cried when I read this, it's so sad! A child writing a letter to Death, like death is a person- incredible idea for a poem! Well written, great job :)

[Pebbles]

brilliant chris ... love theway youve done this :)

[Murtuza]

Wow, I really am impressed by the way you've laid out the poem. You've always had a good flair for making your poems interesting. Fantastic as always and a pleasure reading this. The story is very endearing as the boy wants his father to come back to him and thus he is also ready to make a deal with the devil. Again, brilliantly executed! :)

[Sweet Little Bunny]

this is really well written.poor boy died for his daddy

[White Ink]

A Master Piece! Love it.

[LA Lorena]

I agree with the others reviewers Chris, this one is brilliant! It builds fear in your reader and leaves a lasting impression long after you've finished reading. What an impact!

[Narnie]

The rhyme works well and the naivety of the little boy sets up a panic in the reader. Nicely done.