Game of Life

As time flies by

We forget our selves

As time flies by

We become history

Living in the present

Looking to the past

Begging for the future

Good times never last

As time flies by

We loose our selves

Victims of the present 

admirers of the past

tools for the future 

pawns in the game of life

Reviews

[Roger Ferguson II]

sometimes good works take little time and less thought. this must have been one of those times. this poem feels honest, and is so very true. i like your use of repetition. i also like your use of contrasting lines. very well done.

[Penlady]

I think it reads as if you just opened your mind and heart and let it roll. Its wonderful reading. Since the thoughts are in actual order, it is as if the poem expresses things you have had in your mind you've been mulling over and have come to conclusion about. Quite mature thinking. I like the way you've explained yourself in your "about me" also. That in itself is a maturity saying that you are not depressed but some of your writing will sound as though you are. I really like to know the author of the writing I read and you have explained yourself quite well. now as I read your poetry I will think of who and what you are as I read what you create! I think you WILL be published one day just keep writing!

[Hannah Paige]

I like this, it's clever.

this has that "short and sweet" feel, but actually, i think it could use some elaboration. i'm not sure what else it needs specifically, but maybe reread it, put a little more thought into it and just see what you come up with?

[Dexter Killian]

"probably isn't very good"


SHUT UP this is short, but quite amazing

85/100

[samurai212]

Hey this is awesome :)

[Kate Hunter]

Its actually very well written. I liked the message in the piece and the flow to it. Just keep in mind that selfs would actually be selves, and flys would be flies. Keep it up!

[Zoe Jay]

This is brief but has a nice flow, it has a fast tempo but a smooth feel, so it definitely makes us feel like the passage of time is going way too fast, swooshing softly by us. This poem is concise and a good look at a moment in time, a moment when we realize that life is passing us by. Nice write. By the way, "flys" should be "flies" and "selfs" should be "selves" :-)
This is nice writing with lots of potential.

[Periac]

insightful and well thought

[Helena]

This was great Jade. Some insightful thoughts, which turned into a good little write. Well done dear!

[Star Wolf]

I like it, it's so true. We do often have very little control of our lives and the situations we find ourselves in often define us. Awesome job.