A Poem by victoria

this is just cuz im so freakin excited for the new alice in wonderland movieee :D

Ive painted the roses for you,
but you still scream "Off with her head!"
i've gotten tired of the empty threats,
so off by a rabbit i was led.

Ive never seen anything as queer
as a white rabbit in a coat.
And as it jumped into the ground,
i followed it down the hole.

Tumbling down millions of feet,
i hit the ground without a scratch.
walked down a hall with so many doors,
each with its very own latch.

Drank a shot with fancy printed letters
and shrunk so very small.
in turn, i ate the cake from the box,
and grew up 10 feet tall!

smoked a houka with a caterpillar,
and it asked me, "Who are you?"
Not wanting to answer silly questions,
off i went through the smoke it blew.

I played games with a Cheshire cat
but unfortunately i couldn't stay.
so i asked it exactly where i was going,
and it pointed me on my way.

i sat at an endless tea party,
with a hatter who called himself mad.
though i was slightly terrified,
when i had to leave i was awful sad.

I met a girl named Alice
on my way through the forest.
when i asked her where we were
she said "Wonderland, of course!"

I made my way to a palace,
where hectic cards filled the scene.
Acquiring a flamingo,
i played croquet with the queen.

i met the mock- turtle,
and we danced the lobster quadrille.
though i laughed and jumped around,
i was confused all the while.

Again i was visited by the Cheshire cat,
and i said to him with a beam,
"Ive seen so many strange things today,
this is better than any dream!"

This was my first time in wonderland,
but certainly not my last.
the only real regret i have
is that it ended way to fast.

i left wonderland that day
feeling brave, bold, and true.
But i guess reality isn't the same
'cuz i'm still painting flowers for you.

© 2010 victoria

Author's Note

so pretty much the only reason i wrote this is i cant even contain how excited i am for the new alice in wonderland movie!!! so its not the best ever, but id still appreciate if you rated and reviewed... ;)

My Review

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Dear Writer,

To be perfectly honest, this is too long. Try to rework this poem to make it shorter, include an image, and maybe a song. Often people become disinterested and just stop reading. I can help you summarize, if you desire. The poem's content is good, good points, love the parallel connection with Alice in Wonderland, even though I don't like the movie. I like Johnny Depp's earlier movies like Blow and others.

Good points made, good depth and perception, good flow. Thanks for taking to heart my advice on punctuation, this is a lot better. I loved the original Alice in Wonderland movie when I was a kid. So yeah, thanks again!

Keep writing and growing! 8.7/10.

A Friend,
S. W. Scaggs

Posted 9 Years Ago

good job:)

Posted 9 Years Ago

Really imaginative retelling! It's a wonderful accomplishment: it's hard, when you've set yourself a style and known story, to be able to follow it right through and write an interesting and readable piece but you've succeeded. Only point would be in second stanza, the rhyming pattern doesn't quite match the rest of the piece, otherwise excellent - particularly the Caterpillar and the croquet stanzas!!

Posted 9 Years Ago

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OH a good poem so much you did a good adventure you kind of made feel like i was there and that paints a picture in my head. You were living in that movie doin things that couldn't do in real life. Your poem is Awesome.

Posted 9 Years Ago

in turn, i are the cake from the box
are should be ate, and i too am so excited for the movie im in love with it yet it hasnt come out i have read the book and own a copy printed long long ago probly worth much cash and also i really like the poem visting wonderland yourself must be a wonderful thing though i do feel you should capitolize the letters to make this peice shine though good peice though

Posted 9 Years Ago

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15 Reviews
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on March 4, 2010
Last Updated on November 25, 2010
Tags: alice, in, wonderland



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A Poem by victoria

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