I tried

I tried

A Poem by Akshat♥
"

trying sometimes presents you a place where everything is just seems like a miracle:)

"
I tried and tried and tried again
but its not working out

Its hard but I am trying..
giving everything I have..
still haven't found the right path..

I am trying to get close to it
but still far behind

Sometimes I get under it
grab it with my both arms
still far behind

It's getting worse the more I try

I am trying to sort it out
just the idea to do it remains laggard

One thought popped out from my mind
"I will try again tomorrow"

I try to push more
To give a last try

At last I succeeded 
feeling a big relief

Sometimes trying a lot
gives you a Success
its all the patience that counts at last












© 2016 Akshat♥



Author's Note

Akshat♥
Try to enjoy this poem..please review this honestly..
and rate it too..i will really appreciate it:)

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Featured Review

A simple poem with a painfully clear message.
I wonder if perhaps it's slightly repetitious...I understand that that feeds into the theme of trying again and again and again...I'd love to see you express this in a different form, more concise and limiting to see how you do; you're easily a good enough writer to do it. Maybe try taking the theme of the poem and putting it into the form of a haiku or a cinquain :)
But I reiterate, a nice poem

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Good thought.
As you asked to review honestly, here I go.
'Its' getting worse, the more I try...
I would also like to advice you to use punctuations when needed.
Keep writing ;)


Posted 1 Year Ago


Akshat♥

1 Year Ago

Thank you :)
Very enjoyable read! Thanks!
Get up and try again... Every day is given to you to try and if you do that then only can you taste the success
A

Posted 2 Years Ago


Akshat♥

1 Year Ago

Right! Thank you:)
A great message of never giving up. I think this is something we can all easily relate to. A couple of grammatical issues:

grabs it with my both arms (grab it with both my arms)

Its getting worse as I more try (Its getting worse the more I try)

Really enjoyed this. great job.



Posted 4 Years Ago


Akshat♥

4 Years Ago

Thank you dear :)
I like the message, and i feel just like that, still trying, success ? not yet... not yet!

Posted 4 Years Ago


Akshat♥

4 Years Ago

Thank you dear :)
You have given a nice message through this poem :)

Posted 4 Years Ago


Akshat♥

4 Years Ago

Thank you dear :)
Nice message with simple words :)

Posted 4 Years Ago


Akshat♥

4 Years Ago

Thank you :)
Patience is so important in life..it really counts at last..
Nicely written piece :)

Posted 4 Years Ago


Trying is too hard...when you can't see any path:(
filled with lot of emotions..

Posted 4 Years Ago


nicely written... and true its patience that only counts...

Posted 4 Years Ago


"You try, you fail, you try, you fail... But the only true failure is when you stop trying."

Posted 5 Years Ago



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Added on June 28, 2011
Last Updated on February 6, 2016

Author

Akshat♥
Akshat♥

New Delhi, India



About
hello(Namaste), You can call me (or ashu), I LOVE MYSELF...!! :-P I am methodical,practical and a great friend....!!! I never make snap decisions, preferring to weigh the pros and cons of every.. more..

Writing
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