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Along The Broken Road

Along The Broken Road

A Poem by Joseph Mulpeter

 
Along The Broken Road



Gear box rickety, breathing uncontrollably 
The sound that every human dreads
the sound of their final breath

In slow motion i see light, bright light
the soon to be broken light
gust of wind that comes from behind
 throwing my car onto the opposite side
life flashes, before my eyes
my car's now driving, towards the light
 Crash

The final breath my lungs take in
no pain, no exhale, nor suffering

 I feel bad for keeping you waiting
as i lay here, soul slowly fading
the ring in my pocket, that has broken to pieces
my chances of survival, it quickly decreases 
body cold, death taking hold
 as i lay dead along the broken road








© 2017 Joseph Mulpeter



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Featured Review

I like how the poem draws attention to the fragility of life and the difficulty and inevitability of facing mortality. I felt the visual difference in the words, going from larger to smaller as the subject gets closer to his demise sets the tone even further. I read the words as if I could hear shallow breathing and a croaky, shaky voice in my head. Fantastic job!

Posted 8 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

beautiful topic and poem...

Posted 7 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Damn... Syllable rhyming and breath are outta this world...! Concretely stays on topic, and feels exactly like it should, a dark trip of emotion... This is written neatly, succinctly, and with "positive" dissonance to syllable slant. Darkly penned... I would advise perhaps normalizing the capitalization of the "I's"... As it somewhat detracts from the visual flow, but seriously... Very, very well written...

Posted 7 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Joseph Mulpeter

7 Months Ago

thank you so much for your kind words and taking the time to read it. cheers for the advice i'll rem.. read more
Silente

7 Months Ago

Aye, a pleasure
Wow......just brought me into that and reality...extreme...and precise on description. Awesome

Posted 7 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Sad. This poem is just filled with sadness. That being said, I really enjoyed this poem a lot. Nice writing!

Posted 7 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I like story poems. The end and the loss is compelling here. The fact that you mention the 'ring' says a lot without having to go into explanations. You did a good job writing this and I enjoyed.

Posted 7 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Joseph Mulpeter

7 Months Ago

Thank you for taking the time to read it :) Im glad you enjoyed it 😊
I like how the poem draws attention to the fragility of life and the difficulty and inevitability of facing mortality. I felt the visual difference in the words, going from larger to smaller as the subject gets closer to his demise sets the tone even further. I read the words as if I could hear shallow breathing and a croaky, shaky voice in my head. Fantastic job!

Posted 8 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

nice poetry n thanks for sharing

Posted 8 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Joseph Mulpeter

8 Months Ago

thank you for taking the time to read it :)
I very much like your deadly experience, all except for one little thing . . . the word "crash" could be pumped up a bit, to make it feel more like a full-blown catastrophic event. "Crash" feels kinda wimpy compared to the rest of your poem, which is packed with intensity & horror (nicely done). This also works well as an allegory for life . . . some of us living on the broken road *sigh!* (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

Posted 8 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Joseph Mulpeter

8 Months Ago

i agree, looking back at it now i could have worded it a bit better, thank you for pointing that out.. read more
A touching piece, Joseph!

Posted 8 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Joseph Mulpeter

8 Months Ago

Thank you :)
Shasha

8 Months Ago

You're most welcome!
The last road before the end

Posted 8 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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10 Reviews
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Added on October 19, 2017
Last Updated on October 19, 2017
Tags: #love#heaven#god#lord#LGBT#gay#t

Author

Joseph Mulpeter
Joseph Mulpeter

Manchester, United Kingdom



About
My name is Joseph Mulpeter. I am 25 years old from England. Besides photography, my other passion is writing. I'm currently writing a novel which will be posted once written. I enjoy expressing myself.. more..

Writing

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