Chapter 5

11:56  p.m.  July 1

I cut school.  No surprise.  I didn’t feel like it, so I hung out with Kat.  We sat in her car, smoking cigarettes and talking.  But I came home early.  I was feeling sick to my stomach.  

I walked up to the door, unlocked it, and entered the house.   

“Thank God...No one's home.”  My breath stopped short, a sudden pain piercing my abdomen.  What the hell is wrong with me?  I winced as I practically crawled up the last stair, pain seizing my body.  I breathed in deeply.  The pain subsided.  I walked to my room.  The window was open, making my papers flutter in the cool breeze.  I sat on my bed, hugging my knees.  

“Maybe drawing will help take things off my mind…,”  I muttered under my breath, reaching for one of my sketchbooks.  I heard sobbing from the bathroom.  I got up from my place on the bed, and gripped the doorknob, opening slowly.  I clasped a hand over my mouth to muffle my scream, the blood draining from my face.  There stood Alaska,a huge gash reaching her elbow to her wrist.  She pressed her hand against her abdomen, covering her wounded and bloodied torso.  The knife that was gripped tightly in her hand, clattered down to the floor.  

“S-sarah, get out of h-here,” she struggled to throw out the words.  Alaska stumbled, then reached for the gun that was on the counter.

“Alaska?!?  Do you even know what you’re doing?!  What the hell?!”

I tried to keep my voice low and calm, but came out very shrill.

“Get out n-now.”

“No, why are you doing this?  Cut the crap already.  If I were you, I’d put                                 that away.  Alaska, everything will be alright.  Just.  Put.  The.  Gun.  Down….,” I coaxed, then tentatively took a step forward.  Blood was everywhere.  I knew that people couldn’t lose more blood than this, or something serious could happen.

“If you were me, you’d do the same, because I can’t take it anymore.  Everything is not alright, I would rather end it all right now and if I mean anything to you, I’m sorry, but I’ve made up my mind,” she took a deep breath, raising the gun level to my chest.  “Get out, or I’ll shoot you.  Take another step and I will shoot you…,” her breath was ragged now.

“You think I’m scared? Pull the trigger,”  I whispered.  

“Sarah, get out.  I will pull the trigger.  Then after you’re dead, I’ll have another reason not to live, and kill myself,”   she pleaded, the burst into tears.

I take another step towards her.  She gulped, then fingered the trigger.

“I’m sorry, Sarah….”

But the bullet that was supposed to come and kill me, never came.  Alaska’s eyes rolled behind her head, and she stumbled to the floor.  I rushed towards her, checking for a pulse.  Her breath was ragged, her pulse slow, barely a murmur against my fingertips.  I fumbled for my phone, calling for an ambulance.  I knew she wasn’t going to make it.  The ambulance would take too long and there was just too much blood.  I reached for a bloodied paper that Alaska was clutching in her hand

“Alicia, sorry for the blood on the paper.  I’m not feeling too good right now.  They keep asking me about when you died.  I can’t take it anymore.  The doctors tell me to take my medicine, but it’s getting worse.  There’s blood everywhere, I don’t even know what to do anymore.  I’m coming up to see you, please open the doors.

-Alaska.”

Tears rushed to my eyes.  It’s all my fault.  All this time I thought those note were from Alicia, they weren’t.  I could’ve saved Alaska.  Now, here I am,  witnessing another suicide and not being able to help stop them.  I checked for a pulse or at least a sign that she was breathing.

…...Nothing…

No pulse, no breathing, they both finally ceased.  I buried my face into her black, blood clotted hair and caressed her ashen face.

My sister was successful in her suicide.

-Sarah

Reviews

[A.Tarek]

and that was the twist I didn't see it coming. the notes were from Alaska not from her friend.. but don't tou think you killed her off sooner. You ought to show the crulty she was facing more, to make ger death more justfied.. keep it up, I'm definetly gonna continue this book

[barleygirl]

This dialogue sounds very realistic, as it comes out in a jagged way, not making perfect sense, but rather just gut-level reactions to a harsh situation. I feel you've painted this in a vivid & true way, but not overly dramatic, instead just the right amount of honesty, carrying the inherent drama across. The only thing I'm not crazy about is the way this horrendous event has no foreshadowing in the preceding chapters. We haven't really gotten to know Alaska at all, we have no idea who she is or why she's doing this, & then BOOM, she's gone. I understand if this is the way you want your story to be. But for me, I'd like to have had some familiarity with Alaska so that I could empathize with her actions. The strong aspect of this story is the way the narrator is so self-absorbed thru-out preceding chapters, she did not appear to be concerned or aware that her sister, who she feels so in competition with, is actually suffering too. This is similar to my own childhood home, where we were all abused, but each in our own little world, not being able to understand or realize how much pain our siblings were also undergoing. In this way, your story rings very authentic (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Wonderland Asylum]

Barleygirl, thank-you for such a detailed review on this chapter. There was no foreshadowing in the previous chapters because I was trying my best to make it seem that these sisters are estranged. Yes, they live together, share a room, and yet, they know nothing about each other. Sarah's envy and resentment towards Alaska prevents her from bonding with her. The sisters are complete opposites of each other. Alaska is popular, and has aesthetically inclined body, and Sarah sees her as the perfect child, perfect daughter, the daughter that both of her parents wanted. Sarah considers herself the trouble child, imperfect, she has a piercing in her nose, she smokes, wears darker makeup, darker clothes, cusses, doesn't do well in school. Sarah not only envies her sister, but also resents her because she has everything that Sarah wants. So she removed herself from Alaska, causing them to grown farther and farther apart growing up. And now, because of this distance between the two girls, Sarah doesnt see what Alaska is going through. Alaska on the other hand, being the older of the two, can somewhat tell that Sarah is also going through something, but Sarah takes it as Alaska mocking her.

I hope this helps you understand a little more about why I wrote this chapter in this manner.

[barleygirl]

Thank you for taking time to explain . . . I understand your intent *smile*

[Wonderland Asylum]

Your welcome.
If there are any other chapters that you would like more background on, or one of my other pieces, just message me, and I'll gladly do it. Because if one person doesn't quite understand, there are bound to be more.

[barleygirl]

I have your next chapter in my reading list, so I will proceed after I do some reviewing of other writers. Thanks for being patient with my gradual process of getting thru my reading list! (((HUGS)))

[Coyote Poetry]

A very sad chapter. You allowed the reader to feel the struggle and the sad ending. Thank you my friend for sharing the excellent chapter.
Coyote