On A Balmy Summers Night

On A Balmy Summers Night

A Poem by Gee
"

Just simple words

"
Shooting stars through diamond studs
the pallid moon looked on,
a breeze roused sleeping summer leaves
but briefly, then was gone.

A fox bark echoed, trailed away
through spinny and beyond,
nothing stirred, the lillies slept
atop the night stilled pond.

'cross barleyed acres all at peace
through farmyard ever on,
silence played on balmy night
a symphony an' song.

'Til sunrise lit the eastern sky,
then man stirred, woke again,
serenaded soft to 'nother day
by bird calls sweet refrain.

How beautiful this life we live
what wonders to behold,
more beauty found in nature's gifts
than platinum and gold













© 2018 Gee



Author's Note

Gee
Quickly written before toodling off to work...hopefully ok !! Have added 4th stanza, does it fit ???

My Review

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Reviews

Gifts of nature, priceless. Who needs expensive gems when you have this on your doorstep.

nicely done Gee

have a great day

Chris

Posted 5 Days Ago


Gee

4 Days Ago

Thank you Christine, hope you are enjoying the warm weather. Wedding watching tomorrow ??
The poem feels very genuine, and I'm pretty sure the seamless descriptions and theme helps in pushing the message along. It has immense substance and also great flow, I enjoyed this brief read.

Posted 1 Month Ago


Gee

1 Month Ago

Thank you God. Tis a selfless act you carried out in sacrificing your son for the sake of mankind.
God Speaking

1 Month Ago

I'm an atheist.
Gee

1 Month Ago

I'm glad for you :)
Great > now retired with time to please our selves > Time to travel; sit and wonder; at nature; to travel and see the world (well some of it)
I like the last stanza best

Posted 1 Month Ago


Gee

1 Month Ago

Thank you. I forget some of the stuff I’ve scribbled.
Glad you liked it
Gee

1 Month Ago

Oooooh, you were my 1000th view...
Wild Rose

1 Month Ago

Pleased for your 1000th review Congrats
Very neat, makes sense, blended so end goes well with beginning

Posted 8 Months Ago


Gee

8 Months Ago

Thank you..
oh yes, and the last stanza says so much ... wonderful!

Posted 9 Months Ago


I like it. The rhyme and the content both spoke to me and I could easily see and hear the things you described.. Good job. ~Jim

Posted 9 Months Ago


Gee

9 Months Ago

Cheers Jim
It is awesome, you need not worry! =]

Posted 10 Months Ago


Gee

10 Months Ago

Cheers.....
i love your style and this picturesque poem
i love it, immensely
will be back shortly to read more

Posted 11 Months Ago


Gee

11 Months Ago

Thank you..
excellent. I agree, partly, with emipoemi about the 4th line. I read it again with that in mind. It is the very kind of review I appreciate to myself. One that can help me rethink from anothers point of view. That said, line 4 also fits, since mankind is part of this planet of beauty (not just the destroyer of it as some believe). I tend to prefer the whole word (another) and allow the meter to falter slightly when necessary. Though I have also used forced contractions to make it feel right. He is merely stirring, so maybe that's worth a look - in addition to the word being used up between the foxes and lillies already. Anyway, nice wordcrafting!

Posted 11 Months Ago


Gee

11 Months Ago

Thank you kindly
Came to this via Discover Gee, and I like it very much. You have captured a mood, and the gentle rhythm of the meter almost gives it a Betjeman-type ambience. You have some lovely descriptive lines. I especially like:
- A fox bark echoed, trailed away, through spinny and beyond
- 'cross barleyed acres all at peace
- How beautiful this life we live (some vague distant memory of this sceptred isle or crown ...?)

I thought the an' after symphony was a bit odd, however, and I also thought that the meter (or lack of) in the 'serenaded' line jarred things a bit.

Very nice work!

BRs Nigel

Posted 11 Months Ago


Gee

11 Months Ago

Thanks Nigel, will have a look when time and try to polish

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1167 Views
41 Reviews
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Added on May 9, 2017
Last Updated on May 18, 2018
Tags: Summer

Author

Gee
Gee

Milton keynes, United Kingdom



About
Simple stuff scribbled badly....under no illusions as to my limitations more..

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