Awake

Awake

A Poem by JayG
"

Because a very special lady isn't with me...but should be.

"

Awake



I woke, enveloped within the comfort only your warmth can bring
My head was nestled into the curve of your shoulder, my hand on velvet skin, stroking.

But you weren’t there.

Memory brought the scent of woman: gentle, and softly sated with pleasure
So warm with sleep, so twined with hints of passions past:
An ambiance of morning…a residue of night…a reason for joy and tears

But you weren’t there.

I woke with you gathered tightly around my being, comforting and exciting, both at once.
I woke to memories and to desire, and to comfort, as my lips"of themselves"sought yours.

And then, you were there. But only for a moment:
In warmth
In passion
In comfort
In life
In all that matters.

But then, sadly, reality brought a sigh, and a turning inward
Because you weren’t there.

And on waking, I wept.


© 2017 JayG



My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Reviews

thanks for sharing your poetry. there is someone out there for everyone. I hope you find your perfect soulmate.

Posted 4 Months Ago


0 of 2 people found this review constructive.

I like the poem, but I can't help but wonder if you could give yourself the advice you generally prescribe to. "This poem is narrated by someone we don't know that misses another person we don't know. The reader doesn't have much of an inclination to be emotionally attached to the persons involved." Again, I'm not sure I even agree with the advice, but seeing as you've mentioned things along this line quite a bit, I wanted to know your thoughts on it.

Posted 4 Months Ago


1 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Somewhat short but complex on a very personal level. A poem many can relate to in a sad way. I think you've done a pretty good job capturing the various emotions involved with this "Idea".

All in all, a pretty nice poem you've written. :)

Posted 4 Months Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Being that all the poems I've read by you are structured, I was somewhat surprised to read this, but nevertheless, I find it impressive.
There's a soft tenderness woven through your words with a melancholic tug of longing. I love how your ideas drift back and fourth from dreams to reality and lead to the poignant sigh of "And on waking, I wept." Simple, but an overall effective line.

Regarding the dashes, you can use a horitzontal bar instead, as pasted here in parenthesis (―). It's a bit bulkier than a dash, but if you put it in Times font and italicize it, you'll hardly notice the difference.

- William Liston

Posted 4 Months Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

a touching write,sadly me miss them after they have left,or in some cases,after we left...

Posted 4 Months Ago


0 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Those quotation marks should be em-dashes, and were before I pushed save, but the site can't handle them, I guess.

Posted 4 Months Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.


3
next Next Page
last Last Page
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

1181 Views
28 Reviews
Rating
Added on August 27, 2017
Last Updated on August 27, 2017

Author

JayG
JayG

Philadelphia, PA



About
    I'm old, fairly stupid, and I never did set women's hearts aflutter when I came into the room. To make matters worse, I'm a know-it-all. People often dislike me when we first m.. more..

Writing
Choices Choices

A Poem by JayG


Elvish Tor Elvish Tor

A Poem by JayG


Roland Skye Roland Skye

A Poem by JayG



Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..


Love Smoke Love Smoke

A Poem by Paul Bell


Today Today

A Poem by Saumya