A Poem by JayG

Because a very special lady isn't with me...but should be.



I woke, enveloped within the comfort only your warmth can bring
My head was nestled into the curve of your shoulder, my hand on velvet skin, stroking.

But you weren’t there.

Memory brought the scent of woman: gentle, and softly sated with pleasure
So warm with sleep, so twined with hints of passions past:
An ambiance of morning…a residue of night…a reason for joy and tears

But you weren’t there.

I woke with you gathered tightly around my being, comforting and exciting, both at once.
I woke to memories and to desire, and to comfort, as my lips--of themselves--"sought yours.

And then, you were there. But only for a moment:
In warmth
In passion
In comfort
In life
In all that matters.

But then, sadly, reality brought a sigh, and a turning inward

And on waking, I wept.

Because you weren’t there.

© 2018 JayG

Author's Note

I fixed the M-dash problem and the swapped last two lines on 10/3/18.

My Review

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Very good flow-- read many free verse poems, many came across as slightly choppy but each line you wrote flowed seamlessly into the next. That's one of the reasons why I really love the structure: like emotions, your lines fluctuated, and at a glance, it seemed chaotic; but there was a consistency within the chaos-- the repetition. It pulled together the irregular verses and gave flow. I also love how vivid the tone is... when I read it, I felt the frantic yearning, just a little out of control. Perfect. Then the realization gradually seeped in as the lines grew shorter and more numerous, until the cruel reality couldn't be ignored any longer. Finally ending the poem with a melancholy acquiescence, acceptance of the fact that it was a waking dream, no more...
This was beautiful, I'm glad I found this.

Posted 10 Months Ago

Very deep emotions, I liked the repitition of but you weren't there. I could feel the emotions you have expressed.

Posted 10 Months Ago

I absolutely loved it ! The memories , the captured it all so well :)

Posted 10 Months Ago

As someone who has recently lost someone they love, this hit home for me. I can relate deeply. The crave for human interaction and care comes from deep within and surrounds us everyday, this piece really dug deep with this idea.
Please, feel free to return the favour and give me feedback on my most recent piece.
Thank you.

Posted 11 Months Ago

It's almost like an animal that can't find food. It searches and searches for something so basic to its life but goes hungry.

There are basic human needs and when someone who fulfilled those needs isn't there, the whole body reacts like it's starving.

I can feel the sadness in this. More than sadness actually.

Posted 11 Months Ago

This is super sad. Those few moments between dream and awake are always the hardest time to deal with disappointment.

Posted 11 Months Ago

Monday Parker

11 Months Ago

Good job. This was a wonderful read. Thank you.
That moment when all Your senses are sensitively awake... that moment when Your spirit is raising high, touching through the rising the energy of that beloved Soul... being caressed in each fiber of Your being with such amount of that mysterious power, of that most divine warmth, no words to express it... only to be felt, as Your words are deeply felt within my heart, I would give anything to feel this again... and it's not only the death what might dragged these words, separation comes in some others forms too.

Posted 11 Months Ago

Hi jay great work from a master in poetry. I always find your reviews of others works educational and most informative ie concise. This was just excellent.

Posted 11 Months Ago

so so sad at times I think that I am alone with similar feelings , but many people around our world have loved and lost that dearest person/ friend etc
your beautiful poem with that haunting repetition is well done and profoundly painful... and written so well.

Posted 12 Months Ago

The words are few, but meanings numerous,
Each of us feel our own resplendent grief.
Those who know all and feel most generous,
bring evil to our souls and not relief.

Time smirks at us, for we are standing strong,
'Builds character?' That notion is debunked.
No matter of the pressure or how long,
the ambiance of morning has been junked

So, stand upon our patience and our trust,
One day we'll find it's passed despite the hitch
Contempt for memory's fresh, disgusting lust,
We bury these reflections in a twitch.

Past deeds rush in to try and make a case,
Ignoring all those tears upon the face,

Posted 12 Months Ago

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45 Reviews
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on August 27, 2017
Last Updated on October 4, 2018



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