Awake

Awake

A Poem by JayG
"

Because a very special lady isn't with me...but should be.

"

Awake



I woke, enveloped within the comfort only your warmth can bring
My head was nestled into the curve of your shoulder, my hand on velvet skin, stroking.

But you weren’t there.

Memory brought the scent of woman: gentle, and softly sated with pleasure
So warm with sleep, so twined with hints of passions past:
An ambiance of morning…a residue of night…a reason for joy and tears

But you weren’t there.

I woke with you gathered tightly around my being, comforting and exciting, both at once.
I woke to memories and to desire, and to comfort, as my lips--of themselves--"sought yours.

And then, you were there. But only for a moment:
In warmth
In passion
In comfort
In life
In all that matters.

But then, sadly, reality brought a sigh, and a turning inward

And on waking, I wept.

Because you weren’t there.



© 2018 JayG



Author's Note

JayG
I fixed the M-dash problem and the swapped last two lines on 10/3/18.

My Review

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Reviews

It feels strange reviewing your work for some reason.
Oh ! That's right, you are a lot more educated and knowledgeable than myself.
LOL :)
BTW, thank you for taking taking the time to help me improve on my writing.
I wrote a poem titled " Real " after reading this poem you wrote, I thought you might like mine.
Everything I write, is true ,meaning it's happened in my life.
Some quite recently.
E except the political type stuff. Those are really just a way to vent and voice my frustration.
Also, you lied! You said that you're not even a very good writer, you in fact are. :)

Posted 10 Months Ago


I enjoyed this piece! Know the feeling all too well. Keep writing☺

Posted 11 Months Ago


I loved this piece! It's beautiful and longing and each interruption of the dream you feel the reality and disappointment that she isn't there but the dream makes her presence seem so real.. you feel her there. I totally get this! I manifest my intense daydreams all the time. Superb imagery!

Posted 1 Year Ago


So real. I enjoyed reading this. Well done

Posted 1 Year Ago


Brought me to tears.. have been experiencing this exact feeling daily.. lovely work, thank you for writing this

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Very good flow-- read many free verse poems, many came across as slightly choppy but each line you wrote flowed seamlessly into the next. That's one of the reasons why I really love the structure: like emotions, your lines fluctuated, and at a glance, it seemed chaotic; but there was a consistency within the chaos-- the repetition. It pulled together the irregular verses and gave flow. I also love how vivid the tone is... when I read it, I felt the frantic yearning, just a little out of control. Perfect. Then the realization gradually seeped in as the lines grew shorter and more numerous, until the cruel reality couldn't be ignored any longer. Finally ending the poem with a melancholy acquiescence, acceptance of the fact that it was a waking dream, no more...
This was beautiful, I'm glad I found this.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Very deep emotions, I liked the repitition of but you weren't there. I could feel the emotions you have expressed.

Posted 1 Year Ago


I absolutely loved it ! The memories , the loneliness..you captured it all so well :)

Posted 1 Year Ago


As someone who has recently lost someone they love, this hit home for me. I can relate deeply. The crave for human interaction and care comes from deep within and surrounds us everyday, this piece really dug deep with this idea.
Please, feel free to return the favour and give me feedback on my most recent piece.
Thank you.

Posted 1 Year Ago


It's almost like an animal that can't find food. It searches and searches for something so basic to its life but goes hungry.

There are basic human needs and when someone who fulfilled those needs isn't there, the whole body reacts like it's starving.

I can feel the sadness in this. More than sadness actually.

Posted 1 Year Ago



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Added on August 27, 2017
Last Updated on October 4, 2018

Author

JayG
JayG

Philadelphia, PA



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