A Poem by JayG

I turned eighty this year, something of a surprise. But I bring good news for those heading in that direction: It's every bit as much fun falling in love at eighty as it was at seventeen.



Morning is when I love you most, I think…
When my eyes first open and thoughts of you bring warmth.
I pull you close…to savor the bed-warm caress of skin-on-skin.
What could improve on that?

But at noon there’s laughter in your eyes that pleases, as we share repast.
Stolen kisses, and hands in glancing touch punctuate conversation.
The taste of mustard and kisses intermingle.
Could I improve on that? 

Afternoon walks with a hand on my arm, your voice caressing.
Incidental affection, shared, brightens the day.
Unexpected adventures, and familiar sights.
Could anything improve on that?

Evening and conversation, storytelling, and kisses.
Precious time, sharing comfort and cuddling.
A day closes. Memory records. Bedtime beckons.
Who could improve on that?

Who would want to?

© 2017 JayG

My Review

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Thanks for sharing. I enjoyed the comfortable conventionality of the poem, the three bears plus one. Stanza, time: challenging question. I am, iamb, because, can you? And the beat goes on.

Posted 2 Days Ago

What catches my eye the most is how you pose an interchangeable question at the end of each stanza, with the conclusion standing by itself like an exclamation point at the end. I don't read other reviews so someone might have all ready mentioned that; it's very notable and makes the piece stand out. As far as the subject matter goes, you make me believe that a realistic love can endure by demonstrating common, but uncommon items like mustard and memory cards. It is a beautiful and humble work. Have a good one. CD

Posted 5 Days Ago

There's something special about spending the day with someone you care about. Often I'd rather spend the day with someone doing simple thing, then get an elaborate gift or go to a fancy place. Looking forward to these days helps one get though the boring days or work, school, or whatever else.
Thanks for sharing.

Posted 5 Days Ago

Very nice! I really enjoyed your description of falling in love at 17 and at 80. That's a beautiful thing. I wish you all the happiness in the world.

Posted 1 Week Ago

a day in the life of love...yes, who would want to improve on that....i like how the segments came together...
as do the couple, and the appreciation the poet has for her.

Posted 1 Week Ago

You are a wonderful writer. Here is my website for you to share
Heather Kendall

Posted 1 Week Ago

Such a beautiful poem. Mustard kisses? Genius wordplay.

Posted 1 Week Ago

this is really inspiring, to live each day with someone dear to your heart is nothing but bliss

Posted 1 Week Ago

Nope, nobody can improve on all the intimacies you painted here! Life is a bliss when you love spending morning, noon, and night in such a wonderful way!

Posted 1 Month Ago

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17 Reviews
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on November 28, 2017
Last Updated on November 28, 2017
Tags: romance, romantic



Philadelphia, PA

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