Man Makes Mistakes

A Lipogram in A

A day dawns
and a war chasm spawns.

War!

As gangs and fangs
carry arms and clangs,
crack and smack
amass a flack,
a stay, an attack!

Watch,
as angry ants
start a draw back.
Away! Scram!

Man V Man.

Ah -
A draft has past,
man can’t last
man stay anyway.
Happy play?

Pangs lay a sham,
rat’s ran afar,
scary cat’s
all.

A fact?
man’s a charlatan
that’s that!

Reviews

[Valentine]

Hon...you totally lost me on this one. Valentine

[KWP]

It's a lipogram, meaning I could only use one vowel in the whole piece - i used A ...

Not so easy :)

You do one .... yes yes yes

[Solar]

Thank you for a lippy leap of a ' lipogram ' - a form I didn't know of.

[KWP]

most welcome - you should give it a go - fun but not so easy :) X

[Wrenlane]

Wow, I have heard term 'lipogram' but never really knew the meaning until now...I really like that...like
Rat a tat tat
spat back a black rat
as a fat cat sat
flattening black rat's hat....

Yeah, I can see where that could be somewhat of a time consuming challenge, but you do it very well KWP!

[KWP]

hey thanks for reading - i recently fixed this one up for another poetry site - I have changed it here so now there are no other vowels :) have a read and thanks for reading - be sure to give it a go - certainly allows the mind to flow in a new direction :) happy eve to ya X

[Wrenlane]

Wow KWP, who'd a thunk it was possible? I enjoyed!

Far and away, all fans can say, that KAWAPA, slays A's all day!

I know, I know KAWAPA...so I fudged a bit...sue me! LOL!!! Have a great day! Kawapa...I don't know but I kind a like the sound of that, you know...the way it rolls of the tongue.

[KWP]

oh yeah - i tried - it rolls :) it's almost like a ninja Thwack :)))) XX

[andrew mitchell]

I love your writes KWP. This one was fun, having a flow fast paced and yet statements were delivered on all these rhymes. Hope you had a Merry Xmas and cheers to a Happy New Year.xo

[KWP]

thank you sunshine - HNY to you too - I hope the intense heat has calmed somewhat - X

[andrew mitchell]

Kisses and hugs go out to a beautiful Sydneysider Poet;)

[andrew mitchell]

And No the heat remains:(

[KWP]

so long as the fires don't return X

[andrew mitchell]

yes fingers crossed we are in that zone

[Willard Wells]

"man's a charlatan" to me says it all about this piece. The hypocrisy of organized religion of all denominations and man claiming to be human as he kills and slaughters the innocent. Sorry if I found my own views in this. :)

[ANTO]

Loved "war chasm spawns war" - so perfectly true. Nature abhors vacuums but it seems hatred loves them !!.

These are not easy - I get that from reading your past lipograms but you make them seem easy.

KwP, my friend - this is just a suggestion but would 'arrgh' fit instead of 'ah' - ? and don't forget the 'Fat cats' who get the spoils.
Cool writing :)

[emmajoy]

Maybe my imagination, maybe your intention.. but the way your words fall, their sharpness, their brevity, reminds me of bullets firing through space?! Have read this three times now, felt more each time, not sure a fourth read would leave me happy.. you write with such power, such conviction. Tis a moving drama portrayed here, but too true, too true... and consequently.. superb.

[Ruth]

It sometimes feels as such...sigh...intelligently delivered and a meaningful piece to take to heart :)

[Einstein Noodle]

too clever .. these lines blast off the lips when i read them:
"as gangs and fangs
carry arms and clangs
crack and smack"
horrible tragedy ... we will always have the poor and war with us ... we are fallen and not all make the attempt at the ascent ... let alone lend a hand for those still scrambling .. i must confess i would shoot anyone breaking in to do harm ... just not that charitable i guess .. somber thoughts this morning ..horrible viciousness and brutality done in France and in all the little hidey corners of every city and burg ... so tragic!
E.

[Inject Positivity]

Very well thought out poem with the deep felt hurtful thought of Paris attack.....Thanks for this one.....BeUnited#